So I was a fan of Panic! At the Disco but I only really listened the big hits like “High Hopes” and a week ago I wanted to go through their whole discography so I asked the subreddit which album to start with. And there are a lot of different answers but I chose “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out” to start out because I just relistened to “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and I might as well listen to the album it came from. So without further ado, here’s my review of “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out”.
Introduction - It’s just an introduction that builds up to the next song. NEXT!
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage - Now before I begin my review of this song, I really have to wonder why they thought it was a good Idea to put long names as their songs because sometimes it’s very annoying to type them. Anyways, this song is a banger. It’s really catchy, the production is really great, the electronics at the bridge making me dance and feel hyped af. The theme of criticizing artists who make music that seems to be controversial only to gain fame is an interesting topic that I’ve heard a dozen times and I think it was tackled in a good way. Overall, probably the most replayed song for me on this album from it’s short runtime and its catchiness.
London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines - I think it’s a great follow-up to the last track. The vocal notes have been hitting so far, the production is really great, and the chorus is catchy. Although a song about the “Critics” is a bit cliché at this point since I’ve heard that same theme a thousand times now, It does give the POV from bands that are starting to get into the scene or spotlight and I really think it’s a unique take from this song. Really great song, hopefully nothing can ruin my day.
Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - Holy sh*t who thought that this was a good idea to slather what could’ve been a good track with a bunch of auto tune. It was starting really good with that instrumental until I heard Brendon’s singing with that auto tune. There are also some notes that he hits wrong so it makes it worse. With me bashing the song, I do have to appreciate the theme of battling alcoholism, as it is personal to Ross. Overall, it had potential but was executed poorly.
Camisado - This song is deep. It gives an unforgiving view on Ross' father’s inability to deal with his problems. I really found that saddening but it also helps to add another dimension to this track. The use of electronics was great and the lyrics are hard hitting now that I know the theme. The only problem I had at the time was Brendon’s voice but it eventually grew on me. Personally, I think this song tried to mimic what the last track did but this was executed better.
Time To Dance - Two words: SHOTGUN WEDDING! The production really shines with those electronics and this song shows off Brendon’s unique vocal range. Now I do want to explain the theme and the lyrics but I’ve never heard of the novel they based this song around with and it would probably just be me stating out the stuff that’s talking about In the song so to summarize this in one sentence, I like this song.
Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Ok the names are getting ridiculous. I do like the silent build-up in the verses so it could release all that energy into the chorus. I thought the production was great as it adds to the tension and Brendon’s singing was a bit faulty at some points, but it grew on me. I do like the fact that this song title leads up to the next song and it’s a reference from the movie: “Closer”. Overall, really great song.
Intermission - That synth is both catchy and annoying at the same time. I do like the piano section and the fact the that this divides the album from one side: Electronic pop-punk and the other: Baroque pop/rock. Kinda useless but I appreciate it.
But It’s Better If You Do - You know on first listens, Brendon’s voice had problems on some songs but there are songs that I really enjoyed on the first listen and this is one of them. The theme is a person is at a strip club wishing that he didn’t have to be there because of loneliness and that’s an interesting theme. I really love the production on here as it compliments well with Brendon’s voice and the lyrics. At the end of the song it transitions into “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” so that’s extra points. Really love this song.
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - I mean c’mon now, we all know this is a classic.
I Constantly Thank God For Esteban - I was kinda disappointed since I’ve been on a winning streak on this album and this song breaks it. This song just feels too pretentious with the lyrics and the chorus doesn’t blend with the production. The bridge also stops any momentum that was built previously on the track and Brendon’s delivery was a bit shaky. The only things I can complement on this song is the last chorus where the rock sound actually blends with the chorus, the production is decent, and the whole theme of the song about hypocrites being an interesting topic. Not even gonna lie, this might be even worse than “Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks” because at least that song had potential to be a great song and it did have its catchy segments. Overall, the worst track on this album.
There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet - Note that this song title is so long that I just copy-pasted this because I am not typing all of that. When I first heard the song, I thought it was an unlikable song but after relistening to it, I do see the premise they were taking for but the song didn’t really hook me in that much. I do like the theatrical production combined with the storytelling, the song does give me a few chuckles on the lyrics and Brendon’s delivery is on fire here. However, that hook is such a mess that’s what I’ll say. Overall, it’s not one of my favorites but I don’t exactly hate it and I do appreciate what they were going for on this song.
Build God, Then We’ll Talk - This is probably the one song that I think deserves more praise. From the first time I heard it, I thought the verses were kinda off-key and didn’t have a melody but over time they did grow on me. I thought the production was nice, the chorus was great, and this song has the best lyrics (Imo) mocking the idea of prostitution. I also want to mention the cello section, which was beautiful. Overall, great closer to the album
Now what do I think about this album?
I personally think that this album was generally a great experience to start out with Panic! At the Disco. I really liked the theme of dividing the album with different sub-genres of pop punk with the electronics and the classical instruments. It also gave me some new favorite songs like “The Only Difference…”. The album does have some cons like most songs have a formulaic switch-up on the bridge section of the songs, and there are times that they are a bit too pretentious but overall, I really enjoyed this album.
I would like to hear your thoughts about this review. Did you like it? How did you feel about this review? Do you wanna share your thoughts about this album? You can share those thoughts in the comments to your heart's content. You can also tell me which album do I go next.
Favorites: The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines Camisado Time To Dance Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off But It’s Better If You Do I Write Sins Not Tragedies Build God, Then We’ll Talk
Least Favorite: I Constantly Thank God For Esteban

Hello everyone,
I'd like to (once again) write some more of my personal opinions regarding Swain's gameplay design currently, which I think even though it's pretty good, he still needs, I'd say one more mid scope for him to satisfy the dedicated players' expectations of the champion. I am a high diamond - master Swain OTP, I've been playing him for the past 3 years, witnessed 2 of his mini reworks. I "fell in love" with Swain because of his lore / voice lines and his design overall, alongside that amazing feeling of playing him during his R. I am really devoted to Swain and this is why I'm going through this, because I think he could be further tweaked to reach his maximum gameplay potential which would make me very happy. I've been posting reworks and ideas for long, but in this post I'm going to focus on the problems and not the solutions, having in mind my experience, and the... honestly, infinite amounts of texting with fellow Swain mains about his gameplay state. Brace yourselves, and let's dive in.
First of all a quick definition of Swain's fantasy. What should Swain's role be? Most of us would agree here, Swain is a frontline DPS Mage, or a battlemage.
With that in mind, the champion has some "feels bad" aspects that don't fit with that fantasy. While reading these I want you to understand how each of these problems connect with each other. I'd also like to note that the problems are not sorted in importance order. They're all equally important.
First. His full AoE kit. Having a full AoE kit means a lot of "ambient" damage. Low single target damage means bad late game, where bursting down a squishy ADC matters the most, AoE abilities have bad AP ratios, and in Swain's Q case, it sort of has "single target", ratio, but it requires the Swain to be in melee range which is pretty hard to do on priority targets like ADCs in late game. Look at Vladimir and Anivia, who have similar AoE levels with Swain in their kits but also have a strong single target spell that maintains their agency throughout the entire game.
This problem is further messed up with R2. R2 provides some amount of burst in a teamfight so Swain can have some good "single target" damage in the late game (R2 is almost always used to burst down squishies with a single combo). But R2 is AoE, so it's gatekeeped behind high base damage and a relatively low ratio so its snowballing potential in mid-game is balanced. But apart from that, with how R2 is right now, Swain's playstyle throughout the game shifts from wanting to fight as long as possible ... to.... go in, use R2, and hope you do enough for your team to clean up. This obviously relates with his E design, which I'll explore later.
Pre-VGU Swain kept a great balance between single target and AoE, with his ultimate being his best AoE damage tool. This brings us to the next problem
For Swain to be a relevant frontliner in all stages of the game, he doesn't need good healing ratio. He needs good AoE damage. The healing, although satisfying in early-mid game, is very easily countered and makes Swain feel useless in later stages of the game, especially in teamfights (ignites are more common/ one person uses GW), where Swain is supposed to excel at.
Look at fiddlesticks. He has one insanely good AoE spell and guess what? That enforces Fiddlesticks players to drop in the middle of the enemy team and destroy everyone. Fiddlesticks doesn't rely on his healing and prayers to succeed in a teamfight, but he relies on decision making and positioning which are things that remain relevant in all elos.
With pre-VGU Swain, we see that his R1 drain had twice the AP ratio of current R1. This means Swain players are further enforced to frontline by doing a lot of AoE to 2,3 + targets. AoE damage and not healing is what makes a DPS mage want to frontline.
Another problem is the unreliability in his E and W abilities, mainly focusing on E.
Don't get me wrong, his E is a very, very strong spell. Perhaps a bit too good, and this is what I'm trying to explain.
The power his E pull has is insane in every stage of the game and one could argue that his pull's agency is what remains high, even in late game. However, a pull / hook is best in a support champion, let's face it. There's a reason every good pull champion is in support. You might not see where I'm going with this yet but hold on. A pull ability has its maximum value when you have more than one person attacking the pulled target, thus why pull champions are always in support. However, those champions that have powerful CC hooks come with a trade off: they do very low amounts of damage.
Swain is trying to be balanced across both support and mid lane. Even though he has a mediocre or a bad hook, it's obvious, just by seeing how Swain's playerbase is distributed, that it's still very powerful when it's followed up by ADC damage or other teammates. So, in the end, both Swain support and mid/top are hurt by this. Swain's ratios are lowered, thus impacting solo lanes, and supports are provided with a mediocre hook, alongside low scaling damage, making him, as stats verify, a good pick in low elo and a very bad pick in higher elos, where supports are very crucial and important.
Compare Swain's current E with his Pre-VGU counterpart, his old W. His old W was not a pull but a AoE similar to current W, but in the end, it rooted instead of slowing. So just by not having a pull Swain's solo lane potential was more favoured, by having higher damage ratios across his entire kit. Furthermore, his W ability was perfect for Swain's role in the game as a frontline battlemage: It was perfect for when people were close to Swain, and it was also perfect as a follow-up from let's say a Zac E or Nautilus Q, followed up with Swain's R , Q , E etc.
About Swain's W. Swain's W alone is a very good spell. It's perfectly designed. However, it further enhances Swain's utility for his teammates and not his own potential. And I think enough power budget is spent in utility, in his E. I think wild rift, keeping in mind the limitations in gameplay because of touch screen and smaller map, it still IMO made a good choice to lower Swain's W range and make its damage scale further if paired with his E.
Next up is the passive. Swain's HP stacking passive favours support a TON. It provides a stat that isn't relying on gold but on hitting an ability (that is easier to hit on a duo lane). That alone helps you understand.
For solo lane Swain the passive makes 0 sense. It made sense for a while after the mid scope... That is, until RoA got back in the game. You see, the only use solo lane Swain has for the passive is early game survivability. 12 HP matter most when you have low max HP. Swain needed this early game survivability because he had no HP from any items until his 3rd item (the core build was Liandrys > Zhonyas back then). This change was not reverted when RoA was re-introduced, so we're stuck with a version of Swain that has low AP damage ratios and high HP, thus not benefitting a lot from RoA, and AP overall, so Swain's build paths slowly evolved into Liandrys > Rylais > (Ocassional) oblivion orb > Tank items. Tank items, although they keep Swain relevant in later stages of the game, still don't make him feel as he should, like in pre-VGU versions of him, and don't really help him stay alive much longer because his R healing scales off of AP.
This leads us to our next problem: low need for AP.
All of the above issues (Avengers, Assemble.) like too much AoE, low AP ratios (which relates with the too much AoE problem), relatively long R cooldown (because of R2), make him be reliant not on AP, but on... spell effects. That's not how a mage should work. Even though these problems are often complained about by Swain players, with band-aid fixes like remove the ability of R to apply spell effects, they are not the core issues. Swain feeling like he "abuses" spell effects is the result of all the above issues listed, combined. It's not the problem itself. His R being a big AoE isn't the problem that makes him feel bad/ feel like he abuses spell effects and nothing else.
And... bad AP itemization.
Swain is an AP juggernaut, but, apart from HP, AP items lack the tankiness he needs. This connects with his passive problem (remember, I told you to try and understand how these problems connect with each other), since now with RoA back, champions like Swain, who need to be able to be in the frontlines, have that needed HP. Swain, either in his kit (passive?) or his items, needs real anti-burst solutions. Swain would love an AP version of Death's Dance. We see that after Liandrys > Rylais, and maybe Zhonyas added to the build, Swain literally has no good AP options for his playstyle. Thankfully, with abyssal mask's rework, Swain is now one of the best users of it, and it's good for magic resistance, but in the case of physical damage, Zhonyas is simply not enough to prevent Swain from getting bursted. However, this might not be needed if all the above problems are fixed. If Swain gains good single target damage, he shouldn't also be unkillable in the late game.
If you're still reading, I want to thank you and conclude with my final point. After all this, try to understand how well designed Swain's pre-VGU kit was. Yes, maybe it felt clunky, yes , the visuals were outdated, but the core kit design which includes stuff like: Q = Single target DoT damage, W = AoE root, E = single target damage multiplier, R = big AoE damage and healing, overall it had a perfect balance between everything. In my opinion pre-VGU Swain could be ASU'ed instead of VGU'ed (maybe with some more number or tiny mechanical touches) and he would be perfectly fine, and Swain's popularity would certainly rise.

I [20f] and my boyfriend [20m], have been together for almost 4 years now (eachothers firsts). Everythings been always great for us relationship wise, except... sex.
Lets start at the begining of everything. I'll label each section so you can skip, as I'm sure this will be a long post. There's a TL;DR at the end.
------------------------------PREFACE---------------------------------
Don't know if this matters for anything, but I'll put here that he started getting off aged 9/10, and was about as sexed up as a 16 year old guy is at this point in our relationship. And I had only just started getting off at 15, and have never had a good connetion between arousal and getting off. I guess it's a lot easier to ignore when you don't have a penis sticking out. To put this in perspective, I basically got off at a rate of maybe once every 3 weeks, and that didn't change when we started dating (have been informed by friends that I should have been more horny and be getting off more given the fact I'd just started dating someone).
Things were, as they still are, going great with all aspects of our relationship. We were enjoying heavily making out round secluded corners of the school, and all normal teenage stuff, and as things progressed further, I started getting him off.
Now, my boyfriend, has always been a very competitive guy, and just can't accept defeat, and I, due to several reasons, have quite large self-esteem issues. So at this point, things naturally started going a bit downhill.
He'd try touch me, and get me off (very goal orientated person, hadn't realised at this point that sex was more than just orgasm, blaming porn for this), and get quite upset with himself after 5-10mins of trying. I'm lying there, trying my hardest, having no idea why it doesn't feel the way it does when I do it, trying to offer occasional suggestions which he'd get upset at. Spent almost everytime we had some form of sex consoling him and calming him down afterwards. He sounds like a dick at this point, but I've honestly forgiven him for everything, as prefaced before, we were eachothers firsts, and I can guess how it can become a frustrating thing after you've tried for the umpteenth time and still can't get your girl to orgasm, and we had an excellent relationship outside this.
Then comes lockdown, he's getting off like, 20 times a day (yes, a problem, yes, we delt with it quickly), missing me and sex, and I'm just feeling incredibly inferior and like I can't keep up at all (after all, aren't women meant to be able to come more times per men? At least my thoughts during the time), super low self esteem, every time we'd clandenstinely see eachother, I'd just focus all my attention to him in an effort to sate him a little, and not let him anywhere near me in terms of pleasure, worrying about him getting upset and annoyed and me feeling worse.
As follows, losing my virginity was pretty much an accident, I gave him permission to finger me, he misunderstood and thought I'd let him fuck me, and the rest is history.
Spent that entire summer in a horrible sex spiral, of which he was completely oblivious, and then the straw that broke the camels back was when he was fingering me (actually, something he did really well, only way he could touch me and give me pleasure, did it quite rarely though), and then proceeded to start putting a finger in my arse as well - something I'd expressly told him it was off limits, and never wanted him to do (just don't like it, haven't had any previous bad experiences, but was a hard no for me). I got up without a word, and went home.
Next few weeks of him (finally), understand what he did was wrong, me explaining how I felt throughout our entire relationship so far in terms of sex, him clearing up his act, promising to be better (stopping getting off so often...). I finally decided to give it another go after a few weeks and we took things really slowly from there.
------------------------------------------------------
He still struggled to make me come, but at least was very gentle about it, constantly asked for tips for improvement, constantly researching and trying out new things, was incredibly gentle towards me and sex in general, and always seemed eager to give me pleasure first, himself later. Took me another year, but, finally got me to orgasm, and it was a massive weight off both our shoulders.
However...
I feel like this whole experience really scarred me. 3.5 years down the line, I still don't want him to touch me. I shy away from all forms of sex, and he asks all the time to pleasure me, touch me. I ask what he wants and he only ever replies with that he wants to give me pleasure, and I just don't want to let him. My inhibitions only drop away when I get really aroused (ie, quite close to orgasm at this point), and straight after orgasm (guess I'm still high on floaty hormones), at which point I love him touching me etc. I do get some pleasure from pleasuring him/him being in me but I can't come from that.
I also feel that, being a female, I can never really 'tell' if I'm aroused. Would love to here other womens perspectives on this. I feel like men have it some much easier with the pointy thing. He always tries so hard to kiss me, caress me etc, and I often find my thoughts wondering and wanting to do something else (like I said, I only get into sex when I'm fairly near orgasm). I should put here that I'm really good at turning him on- can get him from 0-ready in about 15-20seconds, but then again he has a very high libido (feverently wants sex just an hour or 2 after we've had sex, he tones it down a lot and I think hopes I don't notice but I do)
Some people have suggested I'm asexual, but I disagree. I fairly enjoy getting off, and we do sometimes have great sex. Usually the great sex stems from something that means we really shouldn't be having sex (eg, we've had an argument, and I've asked for a few days to calm down), I feel like I can't stop finding him sexy then, and trying to turn him on and drive him wild, and then, ofc we end up having some form of sex, keep saying we'll stop, but we don't end up stopping till we've both come - I feel like the lack of weight of expectation for me really helps in these scenarios.
I just want everything to stop and find some way to actually enjoy sex. I'm so desperate that I've even started dreaming that I find some magical way to cure me. We're getting married in September, and I just can't accept the fact that we haven't delt with this yet, even though it's been such a long time.
We're both really demoralised by this, and we've tried absolutely everything (sans sex therapy, which we've gotten in contact with someone about). He's just so so eager to help and give me pleasure and I just want to go away and I just feel very disgusting throughout it all. I've gotten to the point where I want to cry at any mention of sex and want to avoid it at all costs, and he's getting more and more depressed at everything, hates himself for what happened right at the start, and is slowly losing the will for sex, knowing it'll just end up badly.
We're reaching the endpoint in this. We both love each other very much, and it hurts we still can't get this right.
What should we do?
TL;DR: Boyfriend struggled to make me come, and made me feel bad about it without meaning to, internalised it and despite being in a much better place sexually now, I can never accept any pleasure from my boyfriend, and we're both getting very upset over this now. It's been almost 4 years now. What should we do?

Part 1 of the Evil That Lies Within arc begins.
[Previous] Part 022 [Next]
<==--------===-=-===--------==>
/- - Flight of the War Witch - - \
\ =>>>>><0> 023 <0><<<<<= /
\ - - - Patron of the Arts - - - /
=----=====----=
Voice Log Entry number: 81-3, Timestamp: 02-15 (estimated (guesstimated)(aintgotacluestimated))
Bit into the -second- year here. Yeah. Still getting used to that. Think I am going to just start counting days as they pass here rather than doing the mental gymnastics needed to convert fifty hour days and two-hundred day seasons into Earth days and years. A 'season' here being about four-hundred and sixteen days long. Give or take a few days. Considering everything else on this world is artificial - I have a feeling the variance in the season timing is intentional and probably oscillates. Not enough pattern data yet to know for sure.
Still no handle on why time feels... compressed here? I have settled into a sleep schedule of about sixteen of the twenty-five hour night - and it feels like a restful eight hours. The dragon folk tend to sleep twenty hours. I use the extra time to practice with my magic sword. My MAGIC SWORD! yeaaaaaah!
This Grand Bazaar is so fun! It is like an enormous ren-fair if ren-fairs were into greeco-roman fashions. Speaking of. Baroness Clade was all ga-ga over some new dresses from the outer ring of the gathering. These were pretty interesting as the floor length skirts billowed out. This was pulled off by weaving the whole thing from wire mesh instead of chain-mail. Or used metal struts connected to a belt to give the garment shape. Just more example of how their textiles diverged from ours due to the radically different materials on hand. No mammals, no wool, a ridiculous abundance of metals. Oh yeah. And freaking magic.
I have to keep reminding myself that this is all on an enormous scale. It takes me about three hours to walk the outer ring. (oh-so much longer because we are window-shopping...) My walk speed is forty-eight kph. So yeah. Its big. And this thing lasts a ten-day. Though the tenth day is when alot of folk start packing up. Some far earlier if they sold out their wares quicker.
Found out what the wigs are made from. Dragon hair. Found a stall selling wigs and turns out dragons with nice hair use a hair growth spell to grow it out and harvest it regularly. Can not do it frequently. Something about needing time to replenish. But it is a business here for dragons who like other hair colors.
If you are willing to hang around a few days there are crafters and brewers who can whip up during the event some basic magic items. Mostly little widgets that do not do a whole lot. Or quick-craft stuff like arrows with basic targeting enhancement enchantments. Potions can be gotten in a day. I nabbed a few "Healing Potions" because they should work on my nominally organic parts. Least that was what I expected. Guess what? That's right. I'm WRONG! Kinda-sorta... Its Complex!!!
We swung around the Druid section of the magic ring at Ghinda's request and got the lowdown on the problems of fixing me up as it had apparently unbeknownst to me, been prying on her mind ever since we met. She would prod me now and then at the keep to do some 'tests', but never said what for?
This for...
She had been talking at length with one of the higher ups in the rankings of nature lovers. This guy looked ancient! Yet strong at the same time. My chest and veins felt a little tingly near him. Guessing that was the more plant based parts of me responding? In any case he was blood red and had these curly corkscrew horns like a ram. Rings everywhere! Fingers, horns, tail. Don't wanna know where else! And holding this staff that was like twenty meters tall! Wood. Like a whole tree. Topped with a turquoise orb and an, ahem, orbiting ring of, er, rings with different elements in the rings where a finger would go. Standard Earth, Air, Fire, Water. But between those were Magma, Smoke, Ice (how'd he get that even???), and Mud. Really impressive looking. The length of the staff was carved with arcane runes and banded in gold. Guy really liked his ring motif huh?
So first glance at me is that dismissive "Fuck off technology." attitude and I'm like "ooooh Imma gonna -show- him somethin!"
But then he does a double-take and starts to look at me funny. Like he is looking -through- me, inside me?
Then he starts to get excited.
Then really excited.
Then -oh fuck! What did I do this time?- excited.
Turns out he could clearly sense all the plant-life inside me comprising my life support systems. A fifteen meter tall enclosed micro-ecology. He was just ooohing and ahhing at the near perfect balance of my internal workins. And so an hour or more passed while I tried to explain in fantasy terms the incredible effort that went into the CyberDyne project and the botanist who made the breakthrough in sealed life support systems. They read it all as a neo-Druid creating a self sustaining eco-system. Something Druids of this world consider a work of art or a religious experience in a way. Due to how the whole world is in a way just that. Self contained and perpetual.
He was really interested in the mini forest that makes up my lungs. Probably because they are not of this world and at a guess are pinging his nature sense. He asked me if he could get a clipping. And I said "Not on the first date."
He got all purple in the face and then laughed and laughed.
So he confirmed that basic healing incantations like [Balm of Life] will kinda-sorta work on me. But due to my, ahem, Golem nature and my botanic parts, I'd get more oomph from a simple [Repair] incantation for my cybernetics and [Botanica's Blessing] for my plant based systems. A healing potion was going to do me little good then - and would be only a -third- as effective. argh! ah well. I can use it in the others in an emergency. Stuff makes triage look like leeches and poultices. hmph. Magic.
From all this I did though get some advice. Mainly to look up a Master of Alchemy to whip up some specialized healing draughts. Cost a bit more. But better than needing the magic equivalent of a Pit Crew to heal me up. Not like I intend to get perforated again. But with these Coalition jokers out there. I have a bad feeling I am going to be in the eye of the storm. Least they pointed me at someone here to talk to about that.
Noon will be dinner with the local nobility. The Baroness suggested I dress well so I guess I will be stowing the Regalia and going formal. Good thing packed the clothes for this. Kinda nervous. Aside from meeting the mayor of Dynamiton City, I have never really had to deal with the higher ups.
Forescout Valkyria signing out.
=----=====----=
Valkyria, with much assistance from Roscida, disengaged her Regalia and a few plates to slim down to a less aggressive profile. Then her ward helped her to get dressed and don her wig. Together they met up with Dasos and she resupplied more goggles to sell and for the morning the Gorgon swapped out with the Ki-rin girl so Dasos could do a little shopping herself.
Wandering the stalls and merchants she was updated on the sales of the goodies and stoning potions. "huh, more sold than I expected?"
Dasos nodded while munching on a glazed tyra leg as she walked beside the War Witch. "The Grand Bazaar is an opportune time to sell and spread word. And word is spreading."
She glanced sidelong at the Gorgon. "Feels good to be making a difference?"
This got an emphatic nodding. "Very much so. The look on peoples faces. Especially the expressions when learning the low cost. After thousands upon thousands of days we are not shunned and driven off."
"In time the cure will be found and you all can go back to living normal lives."
Dasos was keen to buy a new dress for herself after a lifetime of living in rags and whatever they could scrounge or steal. Well the metal equivalent of rags. Dragon clothing was very durable overall.
-<>-
As noon rolled around they saw the Gorgon back to her stall and Roscida joined Valkyria in meeting Baroness Clade at the castle gates. The structure was tremendous and some of the taller minarets reached high into the sky perhaps a quarter of a kilometer. The gate guards were armored and looked alot like silver versions of Valkyria. Though without the stiff wing covers. Each was armed with a huge halberd, a pole arm some twenty meters long with a spike pointing upwards, an axe head facing forward and a hook facing back.
Baroness Clade did the introductions and then they were escorted inside by an attendant and Valkyria got to gawk at the decorations, all on a cyclopean scale. Fifteen meter tall statuary adorned some halls. tapestries and stained glass windows were common and there were quite a few paintings. The elder Clade encouraged the guide to elaborate on some of the depictions.
"Here is show the mounted battle of the Phantom Swamps some two-hundred thousand days past."
The white and gold cyborg ran a quick calculation and figured that to be over a thousand years ago by Earth time. "So you even domesticated a thunder lizard?" She was looking at the huge diplodocus that was being ridden like an elephant and was about as large.
"The diplo in the center? Yes. They are native to the great swamps of the lowlands. A few daring souls have trained them for war. But they are difficult to manage. Bron are even harder to tame and for reasons unknown once every few seasons a bull will ascend the plateaus and go on a rampage until either driven off or put down." So explained the attendant.
Valkyria studied this for a time, taking into account the gigantic scale of this battle depicted. Spells were flying, knights with glowing weapons were cleaving into each-other, and a pair of trebuchets mounted on the diplodocus were lobbing stones at some sort wall of earth some mage had called up. The painting had tiny little details in it down to links in armor and little fine inscriptions on weapons and standards. "Who are they fighting? Looks formidable? Are those a pair of Golems? I see hinged joints?" she questioned.
"Indeed m'lady. Ta Matia tis Mageías, The Eyes of Vraja, were a mageocrocy that formed formed around a renowned vraja college of Solomonari to the west between here and the Ki-rin lands. They grew in power and then began expanding. They employed Golems and Elementals in large numbers and were a force to be reckoned with. The painting depicts the final battle on the borders of what would become the Principalities." pointed out the attendant.
"So what became of them?"
Baroness Clade answered that. "Everyone turning against them and internal fraction caused the eventual collapse as they suffered a series of defeats after some initial victories. A faction within the Eye was against violence and secretly aided the unified people opposing the expansion and so inside and out the cracks formed. Finally they could take no more and sued for peace when they realized the horrible loss of knowledge that was happening as one after another fell. They reorganized and police themselves rigorously now as a true college of study and wisdom. That was all some half a million days ago."
The War Witch gawked as she did some calculations. Over two-thousand eight-hundred Earth years ago. "And it is still going today?"
A nod from the elder dragoness. "Indeed. I myself studied there for six-thousand days and graduated well in my class."
Valkyria did not comment on needing to go to magic school for thirty-five years before getting out was a bit mind blowing. "Seems all that study payed off!"
"Twas not that long. Curricula has advanced since those early days. Back then one was expected to study for a full ten-thousand says!" the Solomanari waved it off as if decades meant little in the greater scheme.
This got the cybernetic human in a draconic looking variable frame to wondering just how long these people lived. Something she would have to ask later. She had some clues already based on the ages of Roscida and the younger Clade, which reminded her. "So will Clade and the Baron be arriving in two days?"
"Correct. My husband and daughter wish to do some shopping while the event is close."
After that they met up with Princess Lykofos. This woman was tall and a rich royal purple with blue scale trim. She was dressed in an ebony gown set with hundreds of diamonds so it looked like a starry night twinkling as she moved. Her long hair was a night blue with a streak of lighter blue like a comet trailing down one side. "Ahh. So this is the mysterious stranger I have heard so much about in so short a span?" she addressed the War Witch with a pleasant rumbly voice.
"That is probably me if it is something weird yea, M'lady." she replied.
The Princess' smile grew. "I would not call selflessly aiding the people of the land weird Lady Valkyria. You have performed a deed long thought impossible in bringing back to us our brethren thought forever lost. That alone is worthy of high praise. I also hear you were instrumental in completing my cousin's elemental collection, yes?"
Valkyria looked from one to the other questioningly. "Cousin? So you two are related?"
Baroness and Princess shared a laugh. "Oh indeed. Though Procidens here takes more after her seaside blood while I take more after our inland kin." she then walked along with the group and plied the cybernetic visitor with questions. "I observed you on the streets yesterday. But you were much bulkier and not dressed?"
"Yes. I removed my Regalia as it is cumbersome for formal affairs."
That got a smile from the Princess. "We have lost a few chairs to knights insisting on attending in full dress armor. So your mercy upon my furniture is appreciated!" Glancing at the figure of the strange being she asked. "I understand that you are lost and far from home, with no hope of ever returning. Let me assure you on behalf of the Principalities of the Comet as a Princess of my realm that you are more than welcome in our lands. I wish only that you might have seen us in less troubling times..."
"I would like to think the same if one of you ever ended up in my world. And sadly I am no stranger to troubling times back home. It is how I became as you see me now." So replied the War Witch in thanks to her gracious benefactors. Then she was treated to a lavish dinner and various deserts afterwards. The main course were various soups, some meat stock and some vegetable, all with tyra egg mixed in like a sort of egg-drop soup. Then there were roast uta in some sort of glaze and seasoning with no Earth equivalent. It was faintly sweet. A rarity for dragon cuisine she had learned over the course of her stay. Sugar producing plants were rare in the qualities needed to make it even remotely viable. So she guessed what she was tasting was probably honey.
This got her musing as to what sorts of bugs were in the environment. But she had thus far held off on that question. She certainly had not seen any other than a little flitting thing she guessed was a dragonfly the size of an Earth eagle. A speck at her scale; and butterflies, or the prehistoric equivalents of, with bright single colors in stripes rather than patterns. The wing edges were flat rather than rounded.
As usual she got some amusement from the reactions to her eating. "So how bad has the Coalition been in the last season? I hear the realms bordering on the Coalition have had a few incursions. But nothing big since that ambush on Clade?"
Princess Lykofos nodded contemplatively. "Not officially no. But there have been two attacks deeper into the Principalities that were not made public."
"To keep the enemy guessing what happened to the squads?"
"Correct. Your case was impossible to keep quiet on. That and it was agreed that the nature of your advent would perplex and confound the Coalition well and good. The various Princes and Princesses have been quietly deflecting inquiries about you ever since. And keeping abreast of who is asking these questions. We have designated you a War Witch, though it is rather obvious your nature and incantations function outside the norm. Obvious to those of us with a broader knowledge of the mystic arts."
Valkyria nodded between tossing trees dipped in some manner of broccoli-esque sauce into her maw and munching. "Figured that would be the case really. Trying to mesh what I can do with what you people can had been a challenge to put it mildly." she admitted.
"We appreciate the effort on out behalf. Were I pressed to classify you, based on the information thus far gathered, I would probably lean to that of the Fusillade. An as yet rare outgrowth of Artifice focused on long range strikes. Alchemists are another calling that is much better known due to it's utility." so described the Princess.
"I will stick to War Witch for now to keep the enemy guessing" so smiled slyly said War Witch while taking a bite from a uta drumstick. After that she tried some pie which was remotely similar in flavor to a lemon meringue pie. Made from a thick rinded fruit called a citron. They were about the size of grapes to her and looked like yellow fragment grenades. The actual usable part was the size of a pea inside. "Somewhere on Earth an agriculturist is having fits over the quantities needed to eat round here." she chuckled. Apparently the rinds were fed to styra as they loved it.
After dinner the party retreated to sealed chambers with guards posted round. The Princess sat down in a comfy looking chair and her demeanor got notably more serious. "Now for the more pressing matter we invited you to visit today. There has been a death at the Grand Bazaar."
Baroness Clade looked concerned. "Another?"
Princess Lykofos nodded solemnly. "Another inventor of enchanted items."
This seemed to be an ongoing thing so the white and gold dragoness asked. "I take it that this is one of several? How many?"
"Six thus far. All crafters working on some new wonder. All found dead of what appear to be natural causes. But their inventions missing and soon to show up in Coalition hands. This can not be coincidence. We have tried communing with the spirits of the dead. But to date none have ever seen their slayer and thusly can not place name to this mysterious spy in our midst. We would like to ask if you can assist us in any way with this mystery. Perhaps someone outside the problem can uncover a clue we are missing?" The Princess then laid out the six assumed murders so far.
"The first was several seasons ago. About one-thousand days. An inventor working on a repeating ballistia was found dead in his home and the prototype missing. less than a season later the Coalition is being armed with a new repeating ballistia. The shape is different. But the function and timing are suspect." she sighed and then continued. "Next was a craftsman who was working to produce a more refined healing draught. Found dead and the formula gone. We suspect the Coalition is now issuing it to their soldiers. Third was a friend of mine that I had patroned for years. She was working on a new armor enchantment for the Lightning Knights. Found hanged in her bedroom. Apparent suicide. I -know- better. Tellingly. We questioned her spirit and she remembered nothing of that and was as perplexed as we were. This invention has not yet surfaced in the Coalition to our knowledge. The next three have each coincided with a Grand Bazaar and yesterday we found another crafter dead. No vraja residue and incantations to detect poisons showed nothing. His creation is missing."
"Is the body still on hand?" asked the War Witch.
"Yes. Though we checked thoroughly." replied the Princess. "Also the Ruling Prince sent us an investigator who has been following the case since the second occurrence. He is here now. We wished to speak to you alone before bringing them in."
"If vraja showed no traces then we have to think outside the box. And working with a professional would be a boon I bet. They know vraja?"
The purple and blue dragoness bowed her head and so they retreated to the castles equivalent of a morgue. "Yes they are a practitioner of the arts. "We checked for signs of covert violence. Assassination is rare, but not unheard uf in some less reputable kingdoms."
Here she was introduced to a male red dragon with black scale trim. He looked curiously at Valkyria as she looked over the body laid out on a stone slab pending last rites or other arrangements. "M'lady. I was not expecting you to come down so late." he deferred to the Princess.
Valkyria took some samples and ran some basic tests with her onboard analysis systems. These were not medical grade. But she took some readings anyhow just in case something showed up. "No foreign elements in the blood. But there is an elevated carbon trade in the lungs. hmmmmm." She redid her tests and focused them as an idea began to percolate to the fore. "Has anyone tried contacting the spirit since you have that option?"
"Not yet. It is a taxing incantation and requires five special candles to perform. We have some in stock but supply is limited and the dead tend not to answer exactly coherently. And you can not use the incantation on a spirit again till many days have passed." so explained the red dragon.
"Got it. Makes sense then. Lets see. Here's the results on the test and... ah-hah. Well I can save you some candles."
"Oh?" Both the Princess and the Baroness asked as one.
"Exotic tallow fume traces in the lungs. Someone used that communicate with the dead incantation ahead of you. Maybe to prevent you from finding out something? Or just waste limited resources?" explained the mechanical visitor.
The investigator nodded thoughtfully. "Though that does not explain the lack of clues as to cause of death?"
"Right. But we know from this that the spy is versed in the arts and is using it to cover their tracks. huh. Question. Would an incantation to cure poison work on a corpse? And would it leave any traces of vraja?" she asked thoughtfully.
"A [Counter Poison] incantation would leave faint traces of vraja in the system."
"Ok. Are there any incantations that mask vraja presence?" she followed up.
This surprised the gathered practitioners of the art. "Why no? How would that even work? To use vraja to conceal vraja. That would leave traces itself."
"Would it though?" mused the cyborg. Then she waved it off. "Just a thought. Was there any vraja trace found on the one that hung herself?"
"Why... no there was not?" and a dawning horror of realization shone in the Princess' eyes. "You mean..."
The War Witch looked down at the cadaver and then to those gathered.
"Yeah. Your spy is an inventor too."
<==--------===-=-===--------==>

I Was in a relationship for five years with a lot of ups and downs. He was a heroin/opioid addict for many many years before me and was actually on opioids when we met (I didn’t know) Throughout our relationship he relapsed several times on substances similar to heroin. Percocet, kratom, cocaine. I have a history with anger issues and past trauma that I never dove into healing. So throughout our relationship there were tons of good times and several bad. I’d lose my temper in anger when I’d find out lies, I’d be looking for leadership in him when he wouldn’t be leading, and I looked to him for happiness when I wasn’t happy. We then had a beautiful son together who is almost 3. He has been clean for about a year now. (Looking back on photos, one year ago he was using at a wedding we attended) In the last two months he dove harder into God and prayer. We came to a head and broke things off. During the two weeks of our breakup he is communicating with a girl from our gym about “God” he says. He moves into an apartment and immediately dives into her and pours everything into her and God. During those same two weeks I dove into 3-4 hours of therapy a day. Church, Bible study, and women’s Bible group. Where I’m having a really hard time now is Instead of him being alone, working on his relationship with God with the Church, or a men’s group, or anyone who is NOT romantically interested in him to have a clear focus and vision on wether or not we can each heal alone to see if we can keep this family together. WHY he is choosing to work on himself along side of another woman. Sure, it’s easier for her to cope and handle uncomfortable situations and conversations with him not bc they have no history. It seems easier for him to have a clean slate to draw on instead of each of us putting in the hard work alone to repair the pain and grow. In my perspective it seems uncomfortable for him to do the hard work alone and just take someone new and say “okay, this girl has no baggage, this will be easier” My heart breaks for my son. I just want the family together and not take the easy road. To do the work, have the uncomfortable conversations, work on our relationship with God and the faith alone and see where time takes us. Anytime we have tried to have conversations during the two week split or the days after, or me following advice from my woman’s group with being fun and flirtatious with him, he had a huge wall up bc his mind was on HER. his judgement and conversation is clouded by her as a distraction and his answers to me are distorted bc SHE is on his mind. Not a clear slate. Note. He’s been out of the house for 29 days now and been with her ever since. Where do I go from here?

TLDR; Software bugs are making a promising (but expensive) product unusable. Help wanted.
I've had my Luba 5000 for about five days now. I have a 2.7 acre lot with about 1.5 acres of mowable grass. I feel like the hardware limitations are understandable such as the need to trim some of the lower branches of my pine trees and pick up pine cones, limits with the bottom of the ditch, etc.
However, the software bugs are driving me absolutely insane. I have probably mapped my yard 5x over and so far have only succeeded in cutting about 25% of it. If anyone has suggestions on how to mitigate these issues effectively, I'd very much appreciate the assistance before I pack it up for return.
Issue 1: "task area exceeds maximum limit" - I was regularly seeing this message until I manually went back and destroyed task areas and rebooted the mower. Thank you u/waltergandra for the previous post response to get me around this. However, why is this an issue at all? I can understand why the size of the individual task areas has a reasonable upper bound, but what is the hardware limitation that prevents me from creating as many task areas as I want? I understand that the 5000 is rated for 1.25 acres, but my assumption was that was a design duty cycle and not an enforced upper limit (which I am still nowhere near hitting with the configured areas).
Issue 2: Modifying a task area on the remote end of a conduit results in the area not saving. The app (I am on IOS) will complain that the modified area is not connected by a conduit (even though the unmodified version was and I added to the opposite side as the conduit) and it won't let me fix it. It seems like deleting the area and recreating is the only option. Given the size of my yard and the number of non-straight boundaries I have, this is time consuming and frustrating as I adjust the paths.
Issue 3: Creating a new task area that is a superset of a previous task area results in the old task area being unselectable in the app, and therefore, undeletable (see issue 1). I understand this isn't a normal situation, but I created it through my testing and setup. I was only able to find two fixes for this. The first was to delete both task areas. The second was to drive around the task area until the app itself selected the old one, at which point you could delete it.
Issue 4: Luba will go offline for wifi access while continuing to do its task. I have Luba setup to use my 2.4ghz band which is reachable and reliable for my phone in all but one far corner of my lot. When the mower wanders into my front yard (roughly 30-40 yards) from the dock/RTK, it shows offline and I am unable to control it or get status unless I walk out there and connect with bluetooth.
Issue 5: Moving the RTK requires reprogramming the all areas. I understand this is a non-trivial request and even minor errors could result in substantial misalignment of the map to reality, but this feature needs to be implemented. It isn't a deal breaker for me, but I've already spent an enormous amount of time programming and the idea that I might have to start from scratch to move the antenna to a better location is infuriating.
Issue 6: The unit will misidentify individual tall blades of grass or weeds as obstacles until I manually to cut them off. Dandelion heads seem to be the culprit most of the time. I would much rather it have a false positive than run over my cat, but the mower is leaving areas uncut, which I assume would only continue to be uncut in future passes. This creates a potential snowball effect where pockets of my yard will eventually end up wild and unmowed.

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Girls: Eva, Izzy
Boys: Ezekiel, Mal, Owen, Topher
Episode 21: African Lying Safari
"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened, the recap montage beginning with a long-distance shot of the cast assembled by the Great Wall of China. "Thaaanks, China, we had a blast," the host said over a shot of Sadie hitting a landmine on her tricycle and an explosion being seen in the distance. "Just not the kind associated with fun," Chris added as Sadie had her tricycle stuck and Owen was shown getting knocked off the Great Wall by Ezekiel's donkey.
"Especially for Mal," Chris said as the troublemaker was shown pedaling his bike after colliding with an explosion, "who not only had to lose to Topher," Topher was shown overlapping Mal on his skateboard, "but he also had his cover blown, thanks to Topher." The Chris wannabe was shown announcing Mal's existence to the rest of the contestants.
"And since she doubted everyone's suspicions when it came to Mal," Chris explained over a clip of Sadie exchanging gifts with Ezekiel, "Sadie was the one to get dropped off!" Sadie was shown receiving her parachute in shock, "right after she learned the truth about Mike not being in control," he added as Mal chucked Sadie out of the plane.
The scene moved to the cockpit. "We're down to the Final Six!" Chris told the camera. "Who won't make the Final Five, and how will everyone band up against Mal? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
XXXXX
The episode opened to the traditional shot of the plane in flight before quickly moving to economy class where Mal was smirking at Topher, Eva, and Ezekiel.
"So you've been taking control of Mike's body all this time?" Ezekiel griped. "You've gotten some of us eliminated and hurt Sadie and Ella."
"Noah was right about you when he noticed how slimy you were," Eva grimly said.
"I don't even regret any of it," Mal shamelessly said. "And don't even direct all of your hatred towards me. Topher's caused some eliminations as well and worked with me in the process."
Ezekiel and Eva briefly scowled at Topher. "That is true. I did get Amy, Rodney, and Noah voted off, but I simply wanted drama," Topher tried to defend himself. "Mal, on the other hand, has gotten others severely injured and has no redeeming qualities."
"You still decided to collaborate with me even after I made you peeve off Chris in New York," Mal gloated.
"You two are jerks, and I'll have no problem getting you guys off the plane by the next challenge as payback," Eva threatened.
\
The scene flashed to first class, focusing on Owen and Izzy sitting on the couch.
"So what is that thing you're holding?" Izzy pointed at the tea bag Owen was holding.
"It's love tea," Owen confessed. "This was given to me in China. It's supposed to make us love each other more or something like that."
Izzy snatched the bag and chucked it away. "Why would you think we'd need to drink this? I love you enough as it is," she said and sat on Owen's lap.
"Wait. Really!" Owen's eyes lit up.
"Of course I do. I've missed having you around on the plane for the past days," Izzy admitted. "No matter what, you'll always be my special marshmallow."
Izzy hugged Owen affectionately. "You're a wild gal indeed," he giggled coolly.
\
The footage skipped ahead to a shot of an open and sunny savanna, the jumbo jet parked in the background on the left, and a mountain range further beyond it. The landscape was dotted with acacia trees and low shrubs and a few rocks, and a compilation of hissing, hollow notes signified the heat as the camera panned to the right.
Mal, Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva were all waiting in a line. Izzy and Owen were nowhere to be seen as of yet, but Chris did soon appear in a red robe, wearing beaded necklaces and bracelets and a bald cap, and holding a spear. The appropriated outfit earned chuckles from the three boys, and Eva grinned as well.
"Nice dress!" Mal said through his laughter.
"It's traditional Maasai warrior garb," Chris explained, "and, it came with this!" He grinned as he held up his spear, and threw it towards Mal. The malevolent one yelped and moved to the side, the weapon sailing past his torso.
"Watch it!" Mal complained.
"Trust me," Chris told him. "That's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to you today. Welcome, to beautiful Tanzania," he said. "Home of the Serengeti plains, and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you."
"Sorry we're late!" the voice of Owen called from off-screen, distracting the group as he and Izzy ran into the shot from the left. "We got a little distracted."
"Whatever do you mean by that?" Chris wondered.
"One minute, Big O was showing me his love tea, and then the next minute, we're both talking about our favorite drinks and movies," Izzy replied.
"Are you two a couple or what?" Mal said rudely.
"No, but we're getting somewhere around that part," Owen said.
"Okay, challenge time!" Chris piped in.
\
A flash took the scene forward to a small clearing, the camera moving in past a few tufts of long grass to show the host and contestants on the left; and Chef dressed in his winter wear, a pile of purple fruit, six gourds of various shapes lined up on pedestals, and a pair of giant wooden heads flanking the whole display on the right.
"Part one combines two of Africa's most popular sports: soccer and cricket." Chris began, holding up a soccer ball and a cricket bat as the camera finished moving in for a close-up. "I call it 'Socc-et To Me'!" he declared dramatically, adding "The 'me' being you, of course."
"Why is Chef dressed up for a blizzard?" Ezekiel asked in confusion.
"Behold, the Penalty Parka!" Chris answered as the camera cut to a close-up of the sweating pilot. "I accidentally rented this coat, and since it can't fit me, I'm making Chef wear it so I can make my money's worth. Lookin' hot Chef," he taunted.
"Each player must run, one at a time," Chris continued as he spun the soccer ball on his finger, "from the starting line to that pile of African safou plums," the camera cut over to the large box of fruit. "Grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls," he added with a smile as he spun his own ball around again.
"Hold on just a minute," Topher said nervously. "Do you have helmets for us to protect our faces?"
"It's Chris. The answer is obviously no," Eva told him.
"Next, take the plums you've brought back," Chris continued, "and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Like this," he said, tossing a safou high up into the air and smacking it with the bat when it came down. The fruit sailed through the air, and cracked Chef on the head, causing him to fall to the ground.
"Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muy helpful in the next challenge," Chris said, ignoring his assistant. "Now, positions people! Izzy, you're up first! Kickers, get ready."
\
Another flash, and the other five players were shown in position with several soccer balls at their feet: Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva looking ready; then a side view of a smirking Mal and worried Owen.
Izzy took a deep breath at the starting line, and got into running position. "Let's do this," she said confidently.
"Ready, steady, Serengeti!" Chris called out, and a blow from his whistle signaled the start of Izzy's run.
She took off at a dash. The camera zoomed in to show her passing Topher, Ezekiel, and Eva in the background, and the three started kicking. "Is that all you got?" she called out as she turned around and kicked the ball back.
She reached the plums, scooped up an armful, and ran back to the start. Mal was shown watching her go past in the foreground, then smirked and kicked a ball her way. It hit the wild girl in the back, causing her to drop some plums and trip on the ones she'd dropped. With a startled wail, she let the rest of them fly from her hands and fell to the ground.
"Awesome!" Chris laughed. "Ezekiel, top that." He blew his whistle, and the footage skipped ahead.
\
Ezekiel gulped from his runner's start and went forward.
The first ball came from the foreground and hit him in the arm, earning a "Hey," as he slogged forward. Another "Ugh," came from a second foreground ball, and a third from a ball from the background.
"Quit complaining!" Eva said. "You're already there!"
Ezekiel smiled in revelation as he realized he'd gotten to the safous intact. "Hey, you're right!" he said in excitement, grabbing an armful of plums then turning and tripping over his own legs and landing face-first in the dirt.
"Owen, your go!" Chris announced, blowing his whistle again.
\
Owen jogged away from the starting line. The soccer balls hit him, but he managed to move on. "Dad was right. Being big does pay off!" he said positively.
The funniest guy around made it to the plums and grabbed two armfuls. He ran back to the line, and even though the balls were being kicked harder and faster, he prevailed and crossed the line with a lot of plums.
"I'd like to see anyone beat him!" Chris said. "Your turn, Topher!"
\
"I should just get this over with," Topher said to himself, racing off the starting line and immediately jumping over a ball kicked his way from behind the camera. "Please don't hit my face! I need my face!" he yelled, avoiding a second ball and covering his head. He was able to grab a load of plums.
"Maybe I could-" he said, a head-on perspective showing him running back...and getting tripped by a soccer ball on the leg from the right.
"Hey! Who did that?!" Topher asked irately, and Mal just snickered in response.
"Alright! Mal is next!" Chris declared before blowing his whistle yet again.
\
Mal took off running, and had to duck under a ball almost immediately. "Careful where you kick that!" he shot at Topher.
"No way!" Topher countered, launching another soccer ball.
"I'm going to aim for the head," Eva told him before kicking a ball of her own.
The shot cut to Mal as he narrowly dodged the second ball, but then seemed unable to dodge the third...but a ball came from the other side and struck the one Eva had kicked, and both fell to the ground harmlessly. "You have to try harder than that!" Mal taunted.
The scene skipped ahead to show Mal grabbing his plums, then turning around. Ezekiel kicked another ball, only for it to miss; the shot from Izzy that had been intended to intercept it also missed its target, though it did come close to hitting Mal.
"I am not sorry about that!" Izzy called out.
Owen kicked a ball himself, and on the other side Topher did as well. The two were shown in split-screen, Topher's going wide but then bounced back on course by Owen's, hitting Mal in the gut and knocking him over.
"How do you like that?!" Topher called out to Mal, looking somewhat pleased.
"And then there was one," Chris announced. "Bring it on, Eva!" He blew his whistle.
\
Eva's start was strong, and she immediately did a series of kicks at the first four balls sent her way. The rest of the contestants stopped and looked on in shock.
The female bully managed to bring an armload of plums back across the line without issue.
Confessional: Eva
"Is it any surprise to you that I'm a pro at soccer?" Eva gruffly told the camera. "I should just ask the producers to give me the million dollars already."
Confessional Ends
"Remember," Chris told the cast as the footage cut back to the six lined up at the starting line with their cricket bats, "first person to smash through gets the advantage! Aaaaand go!"
Izzy and Owen were shown tossing their first plums into the air and making their first swings; Owen missed and groaned in disappointment, but Izzy managed to smack her safou on the first go. The camera cut to the gourds, where Chef was sweating too profusely to try and dodge the plums that were flying his way and completely missing their intended targets but hitting him.
The shot cut in closer to Eva as he wound up and swung, then followed the plum as it shot across the field and struck a gourd on the other side: it was cracked, but not broken. "I'm more into smashing things with the bat," Eva said as the shot cut back to her.
"Mal doesn't seem to be having much trouble," Chris commented as the villain struck another plum; it, too, sped across the playing field and struck the gourd opposite and deepened an already existing crack.
"It's all in the wrist! I can feel it!" Topher confidently declared, tossing a safou of his own and twirling the cricket bat with his wrist as he swung. They connected, but the plum went up in an arc, and ended up hitting Mal in the head and interrupting his swing.
"Don't make me hit you with my bat!" Mal complained, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"You can save that for later," Ezekiel told him, taking a powerful swing himself; it managed to hit the plum straight through his gourd, finally breaking it. "Because I just won this!" he declared proudly.
"And the winner of our first challenge is, Ezekiel!" Chris announced.
"Yes!" Ezekiel announced in triumph.
\
The footage skipped ahead a little, showing Ezekiel standing on the sidelines with Chris while the other five readied their bats again, "The rest of you have ten seconds left to crack your gourd," the host told them. "And trust me, you want what's inside!"
\
Another flash ahead, and Mal was shown swinging his cricket bat and smacking a safou straight through his gourd, finally smashing it. Eva looked at him, scowled, then spun around and tossed her cricket bat like a hammer; by sheer luck, she managed to smash her own gourd with it.
Topher, taking inspiration from the girl, threw his bat as well. It cracked his gourd successfully.
Izzy was next, smacking her two safous as hard as she could, and managed to knock the gourd clear off its pedestal. Luckily, it cracked open when it hit the ground.
Last was Owen, who took a breath and readied a more traditional swing. "Okay, last one,"she said to herself, tossing the safou up and smacking it hard when it came back down. Unfortunately, however, he missed his gourd and hit Chef in the groin instead, the pilot groaned in pain and fell over.
"Broken, but not a gourd," Chris told him. "No success for Owen will make it much harder for him to deal with this!"
He pointed dramatically to the side, where a tall crate had just been wheeled in by a white male intern. Whatever was inside the crate seemed angry, growling, snarling and making the box shake.
"Uhh, should we be running right now?" Ezekiel asked as he and Izzy gave the crate nervous looks.
"Yes, you should be scared," Chris said, mostly ignoring the comment as he walked over to the crate. "Part two of our challenge is a genuine African safari. And the prey?" He knocked on the crate, which shook again as another angry growl came from inside. The contestants gasped. "Why only the most dangerous animal of all," Chris said dramatically, the intern nervously prying open the crate to reveal a metal cage within, with a familiar shadow inside.
"A clone of Ezekiel!" Chris finished, the camera zooming in on the form inside the cage.
The clone snarled from in the cage. It still looked like Ezekiel, but its clothes were torn and shabby, his footwear and hat was gone completely, and his skin had turned greenish. In addition to that, his hair was gone and only a few strands could be seen.
The cast gasped again. "Where did that thing come from?!" Topher squimished.
"Turns out it got on the plane back in Area 51!" Chris said, looking back at the cage and flinching at the glare Ezekiel Clone was giving him. "Once I checked the security footage," Chris explained as the clone snarled, "Chef went a-hunting and found the possible alien down in the hold."
"I should warn you, though," Chris said from off-screen, "he's totally feral thanks to all that time with the animals." The clone gave the camera a frightening look.
Chris turned back to the contestants. "Whoever nabs the beast known as Ezekiel Clone wins invincibility, and! First class seats to our next destination."
"With the player of our choice," Matthew said. "Where's my reward?"
"In a second!" Chris replied snippily. "Go to your gourds and check inside," he said as the camera pulled back to show Ezekiel Clone trying to reach him from his cage. "They contain what you'll use to hunt with."
"A slingshot! Cool!" Izzy said in excitement, holding up the weapon and practicing pulling it back. "I've broken a lot of windows with these as a kid!" She released the rubber band and it snapped forward.
"What's the pouch for?" Eva asked, holding up a small leather belt and pouch. "Magic beans?"
"Close," Chris told her before reaching inside her opened gourd and taking out a small, squishy pink ball. "Tranquilizer balls!" he announced with glee. "Sling 'em with enough velocity and they burst on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepy-time goodness." He turned his attention to the side. "Watch, as this intern demonstrates."
He shot a tranq ball at the intern who had wheeled in the cage, and was now eating a sandwich. The ball struck him in the shoulder and released a small cloud of pink gas, which promptly caused the man's eyes to roll back in his head before he fell over. He landed in front of Ezekiel Clone, who immediately snarled and tried to grab the fallen sandwich from his hands.
"See?" Chris said as the shot cut back to the cast. "It's like paintball, only with naps! Now, stand back people. We're gonna give the violent alien a head start. Hey Frosty!" he called back towards the cage with a laugh.
Chef was sweating through his outfit as he shakily moved a key towards the cage's lock, and at the host's call of "Release the beast!" He put it in the keyhole, turned it, and was promptly trampled as the door was slammed open and Ezekiel Clone jumped out, snarled, and ran.
"It doesn't even look like Ezekiel," Mal responded.
"That's because I'm the real deal," Ezekiel said.
"Okay!" Chris said with his usual grin. "Since Ezekiel won the first challenge, he gets six tranq balls," he said before handing over a handful of pink pellets to the grinning prairie boy. "Mal and Izzy, you cracked yours open so you get three," he told the troublemaker and psycho, handing over the ammunition as Eva and Topher looked on. "Eva and Topher, two each," the host told the pair.
"Why are you giving us two?" Eva squinted.
"We cracked our gourds too!" Topher protested.
"Technically, the two of you beat your gourds with cricket bats," Chris corrected as Ezekiel Clone could be seen chasing the intern in the background before turning to the last contestant. "And Owen, since you didn't put a dent in your gourd, you get these," he handed the food fanatic a pair of safety goggles, "and one tranq ball."
"No slingshot?" Owen asked in disappointment. "I have a lot of plums still."
"Nope. You're just gonna have to throw the balls hard enough to make 'em burst," Chris told him. "Which will be hilariously unsuccessful, I'm sure."
"Aaand," he said, the shot pulling back as Chef blew on a large horn, "go!"
At the signal, the six teens, all now wearing safety goggles, ran off.
\
The scene flashed forward to a rightward pan across the savanna, Topher speaking before the camera reached him.
"Can one of you give me an extra tranquilizer ball?" Topher said, eventually being shown traveling with Ezekiel and Mal. "Having two sucks."
"I have one more than you, and I'm going to go alone," Mal refused and left the two alone. "See you dorks after I win."
Ezekiel squinted his eyes at him. "He's a total knob. I swear."
Topher put his arm around Ezekiel. "How about we team up and take him down?" he suggested. "If he doesn't win invincibility, everyone will vote him off."
"I do like the idea of seeing him jump off the plane," Ezekiel agreed. "I'm in."
Confessional: Topher
"I know I'll be targeted next after Mal is gone, but I'll think about what to do after this day is over," Topher admitted.
Confessional Ends
"I remember watching you guys catch the Ripper back in London, but I forgot how you did it," Owen told Izzy and Eva while the three navigated.
"We had to use a burlap sack to do it, but this time, we have to roll with tranquilizer balls," Eva said.
"If you combine them all as a group, we have six overall," Izzy said.
"Six divided by three equals two, and each of us should have two tranq balls just to be safe," Owen explained.
"Keep an eye out for that clone," Eva advised her team. "We have no idea what it can do."
Confessional: Izzy
"I'm relentlessly good at tracking down prey," Izzy said. "The last time I had a date planned, this guy stood me up just to move to another state. I tracked him down, and what happened after wasn't pretty."
Confessional Ends
The scene moved to a low-to-the-ground shot of a rustling bush. Mal walked in from the left, and smirked at the bush. "Are you ready for your nap, alien reject?"
He was answered by a low roar, and a yellowish paw stepped out from the bush.
"A lion?" Mal said blankly as a male lion stepped out. "I wasn't going to tranquilize you. There's this alien-"
The lion interrupted with a roar, causing Mal to take a step back.
"I'm not wasting my ammo on this lion!" Mal yelled before turning and fleeing, and it looked like the lion was going to give chase before the sudden appearance of Chris in the foreground distracted it.
"Who will survive?" he asked the camera. "King of the Jungle, or King of the Fumble? Find out right after this, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
The lion roared at him, and he turned and fled screaming as well.
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(Commercial Break)
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Hey everyone,
I am kinda new to fashion etc. and trying to find a style that suits me. I discovered Doc Martens recently and like a lot of the designs.
Have any fellow dudes worn 1461 Quads? I have found a pair for sale and think about getting them but I am undecided. I do like shoes that provide height but I have noticed it is mostly women that like to wear quads?
I have seen some pics of men wearing them but they often opted for eccentric clothes etc. which is not my cup of tea so I have no idea how they'd look with more conventional clothing. Are these Quads suitable for "masculine" looks?

I’ve seen the script with my own two eyes. This was always intended to be the backup plan in the event that the SFB MVP (sloppy fat boy MVP) and his merry band of retards decided to be uncooperative and knock the golden boy Lechoke out of the playoffs.
There is ZERO marketability in a Nuggets v Heat NBA finals…unless you’re Serbian or Rachel Nichols.
The only way for Adam Silver to have his modern day “David Stern moment” and save the NBA for decades to come is by orchestrating the first ever 0-3 comeback with one of the league’s most decorated franchises.
This was always meant to be the Celtics destiny. Resurrect Al Horford from his tomb, sign Derrick White to confuse racist Boston fans, bring in a bug eyed psychopath for you coach…and finally…reverse sweep the 8 seed Miami heat to make the NBA finals in epic fashion.
DON’T LET THIS SUB FALL VICTIM TO A FATE THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN DECIDED!!!!

Mobvoi was kind enough to send me the new TicWatch Pro 5 (TWP5) to review. They did not dictate anything with the review and I didn't even need to give a review at all.
First, please do not comment on Mobvoi's update policy. We all know they aren't the greatest (as if all phone manufacturers have consistent updates) but not everyone bases their watch decision on OS updates. For me, as long as my apps run, I don't care if the watch is running WearOS 1. I doubt most people even know the differences between each version of WearOS. I'm hopeful Mobvoi's updates will be better going forward since the jump from WearOS 2 to WearOS 3 was not trivial (and slightly political) but that remains to be seen.
Anyhow, there are no perfect watches. Each has their strength and drawbacks. The short of it is, if you want a watch with a big screen, good performance and long battery life, this is the watch for you.
I've been a WearOS users since the "dark days" when it was called Android Wear and my last watch was the TicWatch Pro 3 (TWP3). My biggest issue with the TWP3 was the clunky look. The TWP5 has a much sleeker design and I'm glad they removed the white numbering around the watchface which I feel gives it a cleaner look. It is a big watch but feels light on my wrist without feeling cheap. IMO, they struck a nice balance of size and weight. The rotating crown is a nice addition that makes scrolling easier.
https://i.imgur.com/336jivo.jpg
I primarily use my watch to listen to podcasts and music without my phone on me. I can listen all day and still have 60%-70% battery life at the end of the day without using Mobvoi's proprietary low-powered display. With the low-powered display enabled I have closer to 80%. I'm not a big user of the health features but I tracked my heart rate, steps and sleep tracking and they all seem accurate.
There was a little sluggishness when first setting up the watch and installing app but it went away quickly. The performance has been buttery smooth since.
You setup the watch with the Mobvoi Health app and it's nice that you can change some of the watch settings in the phone app. Other than that it has the basics of changing watchfaces and Tiles.
Pros:

• Large screen, that is easy to read and use
• Battery life is amazing
• Fast performance, no lag or stuttering
• Crown scrolling
• WearOS 3
• Change watch settings in phone app
• Small details such as an disabling haptics for crown scrolling only and you can reorderemove settings from the top drawer

Cons:

• Big watch on smaller wrists
• 45mm band size limits choice of third-party bands
• Can't customize buttons

Wishlist:

• Third customizable button
• Wireless charging
• More customization for low-powered display