The course includes:
​
• Foundations
• Self Transcendence
• Organic Attraction Mastery
• 7-Figure Imperium Agency Funnels
• Paid Attraction Mastery
• 7-Figure Sales Strategies
• Building Your Team
• Service Delivery
• Replays
• NorthFlow Coaching Program
​
You can find all of them on - Our Discord Server
Discord: PLIATSIK#0227
Telegram: t. me/PliatsikG (Remove the space between "t." and "me" for the link to work properly or search directly for my telegram name PliatsikG).
​
100+ Vouches from clients
1000+ Members on our Discord Server
20+ TB of rare and known courses

The course includes:
​
• Foundations
• Self Transcendence
• Organic Attraction Mastery
• 7-Figure Imperium Agency Funnels
• Paid Attraction Mastery
• 7-Figure Sales Strategies
• Building Your Team
• Service Delivery
• Replays
• NorthFlow Coaching Program
​
You can find all of them on -Our Discord Server
Discord: PLIATSIK#0227
Telegram: t. me/PliatsikG (Remove the space between "t." and "me" for the link to work properly or search directly for my telegram name PliatsikG).
​
100+ Vouches from clients
1000+ Members on our Discord Server
20+ TB of rare and known courses

All credit for the world goes to u/spacepaladin15. I hope you enjoy! (and if you didn't, I'd be happy to hear your critique)
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---
Memory transcript subject: Trish, Venlil civilian
Date [Standardized Human Time]: February 28th, 2177
Location: Lower sprawl of City 23, Venlil Prime
Trish didn’t make any noise to announce her presence. Her jet-black dyed fur blended in with the soft shadows. By the time anyone noticed her, she could’ve been standing there for a solid quarter-claw. She’d made a sort of game out of it, seeing how well she could keep hidden under Sasha’s all-observant eyes. Of course, everyone who could notice her was sprawled out on various couches and chairs, overfull on stew and lost in the flow of conversation. That helped. In the dim lighting and complete absence of alertness, she could even smooth out her fur with a paw and not draw any notice from them, provided she did so quietly.
Watching people from the shadows instead of greeting them was predatory behavior, or so she’d been told; in school, she was repeatedly reprimanded for not socializing properly with the other Venlil. When they forced her to stop spending so much time alone, she chose to spend time with the few human kids. They were more interesting, and they didn’t yell at her because her tail and ears didn’t move like they were supposed to. She’d never seen any of those humans sit back and watch like she did; they were nothing if not sociable, although they always seemed to know when she’d talked enough and gave her space before she started to panic. Some “predators” they were.
They were nice kids. Sometimes she wondered what facility she’d be rotting in if one of them didn’t teach her the basics of writing Fl-sharp on an old, beat up datapad. When her teachers brought in assessors, she’d talked with one of them about programming for so long that they decided to forgo the tests entirely, assuming that such a talkative kid couldn’t have predator disease. Trish could barely bring herself to speak for days afterwards in a fog of social exhaustion, but the act had been worth it.
​
Minutes of self-absorbed self-reflection, and still nobody had noticed her. Perhaps James had butterfingered some sedatives into their food on accident? She decided to finally make herself known with a sharp tail lash against the wooden floor.
“...Trish. I suppose you’ll tell us why we’re all here.” Sasha groggily rose to look at her as she stepped out into the light. The rest mimicked the action, dragging themselves out of stew-induced stupor to focus their attention. Trish cleared her throat.
“Thank you all for coming. I’ve gotten word of another package on the way. It’s from her.”
That got their attention. James nearly fell over from twisting around to look at her. “Our mysterious unnamed benefactor again, so soon? What’s it this time, more books? Earth music?”
“Much better. It’s another unmarked.”
Last time they’d gotten an unmarked package from her, it had turned out to be a pair of pistols. Kinetic weaponry which would tear right through the flame/plasma resistant exterminator suits, though it also kicked like hell. One of them was given as a gift to a friend who lived on the dark side of Venlil Prime, and the other was concealed in Tressa’s coat. The prospect of something similar filled them all with equal excitement and dread.
“And no, I don’t have any idea what it is. All she said was to ‘be gentle with it’. It’s set to be delivered…”
Trish checked her pad again, quietly hoping that the words on the screen had somehow changed. They hadn’t.
“...at the Rising Star hotel, the one right next to the new spaceport.”
A single groan of frustration expressed itself through four different people. Tressa was the first to speak. “You’re kidding me. She’s seriously asking you to… not just the upper layer, mind you, a spaceport! The place’ll be crawling with those flamethrower freaks, one at every corner!”
"I know. And she thinks it’s worth the risk trying to get it to us anyway, whatever it is. So we’re doing it.”
There was silence, as every one of them tried to find a reason it wasn’t worth it. Even Trish, who’d already gone through this whole process nearly a paw ago when she got the message, tried one more time to write the idea off. All of them failed. The potential reward was just too great, and it wasn’t worth breaking the trust of their fixer. She was putting a hell of a lot on the line and blindly hoping they’d reciprocate.
With a long, exaggerated sigh, James rose from his sprawled lounge to a semi-respectable slouch. “So I’m taking it that this isn’t a solo op, is it. Who’re you looking to take?”
“All of us.”
Trish spoke in a clear, somewhat monotone voice which completely belied her nerves at her proposal. Truth be told, they didn’t need to come at all. Not for practical reasons. Some of them could certainly be useful, of course, but that was hardly cause to drag every one of them out for what really could be a solo operation. No, the real reason was far dumber than that.
—
The first time she’d noticed it was the night she met Burai. It was a miserably cold night, and she was nearly running to get home. Her route took her past the Tipped Quill, although at the time she’d barely noticed the building. Without any signage (much less the extensive remodeling that would come later), the establishment blended in with a thousand other dilapidated buildings on the street. She paid it no mind.
Or she would’ve paid it no mind, but something stopped her. A physical feeling, an icy tightness around her stomach which pulled towards the bar like a magnet. She stopped, wheeled around; Burai was sitting on the front steps, checking something on his pad and shivering lightly in the wind. She’d seen the old Gojid a handful of times, but never talked to him before. She’d never had any reason to. Without thinking, without even understanding what exactly she was doing, she started to double back.
It happened again a few weeks later, in a seedy restaurant on the border of Sweetwater. This time, instead of pulling her in, it was dragging her out with urgent force. She’d already finished her food and paid, so she just let it happen, watching with curiosity as it forced her into a half-sprint away from the building. It wasn’t until she’d rounded a corner that she heard the telltale roar of flamethrowers, and by then she’d already been ferried away from the chaos.
And again, commanding her to follow a digital trail that led her straight to their mysterious contact who’d turned out to be a veritable goldmine of banned materials, books and foods and a working firearm. And again, suggesting that she double back into the bar where she’d find Burai choking on a starfruit and unable to breath. The feeling had no words to speak with, but its command was always clear. And right now, it was telling her in no uncertain terms that the entire group needed to come along for the retrieval.
Of course, she couldn’t tell them the real reason why she wanted them to all go. She’d been making up excuses all evening, practicing a few to the bathroom mirror and shower wall. She braced herself for an explosion of hostility at the inane suggestion, squared her shoulders for the coming argument.
—
The silence in the room started to tear at Trish’s spirit. Were they so nonplussed that they wouldn’t even dignify her with a response? She felt tension building in her throat, thick enough to choke on. Maybe if she fainted on the spot, they’d take some pity on her. She never was a fainter, but if she forced herself to stop breathing she could make something work…
“Ahh… yeah. I thought we might, given your message.” Tressa began with a stifled yawn. “So how long do we have before leaving? Enough to get some rest?” His tail swished lazily across the floor; Trish didn’t need to remember the fine details of tail language to see the lack of distress in the movement. James went back to his sprawled position, muttering something about clearing his schedule.
Trish looked at him incredulously, and he failed to return the gesture. All of them were acting as though this was a sane, normal thing to request, starting to quietly chatter about the details of the mission in the same casual register they’d been using all night to discuss food and friends and work.
“All of you.” Trish made her voice firm. “Do you understand what I’m asking? This will not be a risk free mission, a ‘walk in the park’. Tressa, you said as much a moment ago. You didn’t seem so cavalier about this idea then.”
“Nothing we do is risk free.” James countered. “Even meeting here is a risk, right? And besides, I’ve been stuck down here too long. It’s high time I got some fresh air.”
That was hardly a real reason. Even Trish could come up with a better excuse than that.
…She decided to let it lie. If they were willing to go, there was no point in pushing back. They weren’t dumb; they knew the risks. If they didn’t want to tell her the reason they were so eager to jump on a pointlessly over-crewed retrieval mission, so be it. Who was she, to tell them to be honest with her about their motivations?
Trish leaned against a nearby couch and slumped into a more comfortable position, feeling her heart rate restabilize and her mind resharpen. Pulling out the pad again, she mulled over the details of the message one more time before speaking up.
“What we’re looking for is a light gray backpack with the UN logo on it. As I said, it’ll be handed over in the Rising Star hotel; exact location is still pending. We’ve got about 10 hours before we need to leave.”
She desperately hoped she had the time conversion between claws and hours correct, or she’d be dealing with either four underslept liabilities or a very irritated fixer who wouldn’t accept “slept in” as a reasonable excuse.
“We’ll need a few minutes to get prepared before taking Beast, and the trip up could take a couple hours if there’s really bad traffic. I’m sure you all understand why we need to be there immediately, so that possibility is what I’m planning around. That should give you all plenty of time to rest.”
Taking the multiple sighs of relief as her cue, Trish picked herself up from the floor and stalked off to one of the rooms she’d claimed as her own. She never liked these face-to-face chats, but at least the hardest part of her work was done. In the morning, she could focus on the relatively simple task of actually retrieving the package. The thought of the trip up wasn’t pleasant, per se (Beast wasn’t exactly a reliable steed), nor was the prospect of traipsing around the upper layer of City 23. Though it was undeniably beautiful, they’d be under the ever-watchful eye of the Federation at all times. Still, the stress of surveillance couldn’t hold a candle to the stress of social confrontation. Compared to that ordeal, the trip couldn't be anything but smooth sailing.
---
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How do entrepreneurs meet each other in foreign countries?
Fellow entrepreneur in Taiwan for the rest of 2023.
Wanted to see if anyone wants to connect/meetup/discuss business ideas.
I am located near Taipei
My passion is sales/marketing. I've done some pretty cool stuff like sales for Google in early days and digital marketing ads for Credit Karma right before the Intuit acquisition.
So, if you are a technical ambitious guy I would love to make a new friend.
Please DM Me if the above resonates with you.
In DMs, I'll send you my LinkedIn so you know I'm not full of it.
Thanks!

I always order from places near me, like tops 15 mins away from my house. Most of the time I order from a plaza thats 4 mins away. Whats an appropriate tip for this distance?

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator.
Iman Gadzhi – Agency Incubator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Over the span of 20+ hours, Agency Incubator has training that covers EVERY aspect of building an agency. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! You name it... signing clients, running killer Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you!
The lessons inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator course include:
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To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Any other game I play is flawless online, no major issues and certainly not to the point where I get half way into the game and just switch off again. No chance is it just me, but apparently every opponent I face has zero issues. Not only that but my players are not able to perform anywhere near my opposition, TOTS Modric is literally pointless at this point because he plays as if he’s a bronze card

Is today is your Day 1?

​Welcome to Loseit!
​So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why You’re Overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. loseit recommends (unaffiliated) apps like MyFitnessPal, Loseit or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.
The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

...is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.
It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel *awesome* and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.
Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
• Lose It Compendium - Frame it out!
• FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

Share your Day 1 story below!

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Don't forget to comment and interact with other posters here, let's keep the good vibes going!
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• Century Club: For those who have lost or would like to lose 100lb+.

Context for later: I am Polyamorous and currently have a boyfriend (15M) and have for nearly 3 years
I (16F) recently broke up with my girlfriend (18F), it was a long distance relationship and we never actually got to meet in person, I was obsessed with her and loved her a lot, we were dating for two years. a few weeks back she told me the distance was too hard and that she wanted an in person relationship, and I was okay with that, I took the breakup pretty hard and was basically crying and screaming to myself for days, with the breakup also being in the middle of exams, it was extra hard.
She wanted us to stay friends and assured me that everything was gonna be alright between us, I genuinely thought that was true and that things would be okay, Oh how fucking wrong I was.
Not a day after we broke up she started talking to me about this other guy who wanted to get into a relationship after apparently getting out of a pretty toxic one a while back, not a week later they were together and they had already been on a date, she told me everything about them, both directly and in group chats on discord.
At first i was kinda okay with it but she refused to tell me any specifics about him, not even his name, she said that it would just “hurt me more” but I feel like if I knew who he was I’d atleast feel comfort in knowing the guy wasn’t an asshole, I reluctantly agreed but a few days later is when i really had it.
She was talking to me about him and his previous “toxic” relationship, she didn’t get into specifics but the whole thing sounded fake as fuck, she kept dancing around what actually happened, then I asked if he knew about us and how we were together for two years before they got together, she then replied with a very blunt “no” saying she didn’t wanna bring up past relationships with him (bullshit) and gave me a guilt tripping “can we not talk about this?”
It was at that point that I was just done with it, I just told her to stop and that she was being cruel and selfish. I blew up in her face (over text) saying she should atleast tell him and that she’s being a selfish asshole, I then threatened to tell her new boyfriend about us since she didn’t wanna, in hindsight I feel like that was a bad thing to say but she just said to me that she, again, wasn’t ready to talk about past relationships with him, strange considering that’s all they were doing
She gave me some half assed apologies, but by that point I had fully had it and we just cut contact completely.
It’s been two days since we actually cut contact, I miss talking to her but I fully know she would just make me feel shit if i takes to her. I said I’ll get back in contact with her around the end of June, but I dunno if I will at this point, if the first message she sends back isn’t an apology of some kind then I’ll be done. I feel like I’m in the right for the most part but I’m still unsure about the threat, I’ll probably update this when/if we get back in contact.

Hey everyone.
I want to say that I realize some of you have marriages that are crumbling, and some of you have children. What you're going through is bigger than what I am, and I don't want to diminish what you're going through. I'm asking advice about my girlfriend, but this is someone whom I was contemplating marrying and having a kid with before this news came out.
I'm really struggling with whether or not this relationship is worth continuing. I want to, but it feels incredibly exhausting. I don't know what feelings I have are valid, invalid, positive or negative. I don't know what is worth talking about with her, and what I need to work on myself, or even - keep to myself. I understand that talking about the affair can send our day or time into a spiral together, so I find myself avoiding talking about it even when it's on my mind. This most certainly impacts the way I show up in the relationship, and she can almost always tell something is wrong because I either get quiet, or try to distance myself for the day. I don't know how to move forward, and I would really like ya'lls opinion or help.
I feel like explaining what happened will better paint a picture.
About eight months ago, I started dating my partner. We had known each other for several years, because we once had worked together. Things were wonderful between us, however I recognize things were moving very quickly. I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship when I started dating my girlfriend, so I hadn't exactly had the time and space to heal from that. I found the momentum of my new relationship take over and I found myself trying to seek a commitment with her, possibly in order to lock her down/ "make her my girlfriend". I recognize now, that this was a mistake.
She explained that she had a trip planned roughly a month away to go across the country to visit a FWB (lets call him Matt) that she had attended concerts with, and that she didn't feel like being in a relationship at the time was something she wanted. Initially, I was understanding of this and wanted to respect this. As I mentioned before, things between the two of us were moving very quickly. Even though we weren't "committed" to each other, neither of us were actively dating anybody else and would gush over each othetell each other we loved each other. Things felt wonderful, but in the back of my mind - the idea of the looming trip lingered.
I expressed to her that because she had the trip planned, I thought it best to reel things back and just be friends. I didn't want to risk heartbreak because I knew the odds of something happening would be extremely high. She understood this, but we would both go back and forth about continuing to see and spend time with each other. It was hard to stay away, because of our love/infatuation. We would discuss not spending time with each other until after she gets back, and then one of us would get weak and seek each other out.
After this continued for roughly 3 weeks, (trip is roughly 1 week out at this point), I asked her if she would cancel her trip and flight and explore the possibility of "us" and what we could be. She was unwilling to do this, and said that she "needed to close this chapter out" before moving forward with me. I remember speaking to my therapist at the time, and she said that it sounds like she "wants her pie and to eat it too". Anyways, I came to accept that she was going - that was that and there wasn't anything I could do about it other than learn to be okay with it.
I changed positions and accepted that she was going, however I said "I realize that you want to go on this trip, but just because you're going doesn't mean you have to be physical with this person". Initially, she was trying to defend leaving the possibility of something physical happening, to which I explained I didn't understand given how we said we felt about each other. After discussing things for awhile, she told me that she agreed that she would be monogamous with me, and I to her - and that nothing would happen on her trip. She even went as far as contacting the guy she was going to visit and telling him about me, and how we're exclusive and that she wants him to respect that boundary when she comes to visit. I feel naive for believing this, now.
Half-way through her trip, she called me early in the morning crying. I asked her if everything was okay. She said "yes I just miss you, and I'm feeling a little homesick". I asked "did anything happen between the two of you"? She replied "No, nothing like that happened.". I told her that I loved her and that I was looking forward to seeing her in a couple of days.
Fast forward to the day she came back - I was excited to see her but I also had a suspicion that something had happened. I chose not to pressure her or ask her again if anything had happened, and chose to move forward in building our relationship. I felt at the time this would show that I was "unbothered" and not insecure.
It's important for me to also state that she continued to have a "platonic" texting friendship with this individual that she saw on her trip. From the time when she came back, until now - I believe she had been keeping things appropriate (for the most part) that I could see.
As the continuing months went on, things over all were going really well. She started inviting me to family gatherings, to meet her friends, going on vacations, and even professed that she wanted to get married to me and have a child together. All of these things made me feel great. I was so happy to hear how much she was into our relationship.
About a month and a half ago, we went to Texas to visit her family. It was overall a great trip. There was eventually a conversation about a big concert that was going to be happening near our hometown this summer, to which I asked her if she wanted to go. She told me "honestly, I think Matt is going to be flying there to see that concert - and out of respect for you and to avoid awkwardness, I don't think I want to go". This initially made me feel good - that she was being respectful of our relationship. I asked her if she thought it would be hard to go with me and see him there - to which she replied "no, I think that it would be totally fine and he would be respectful as he has been of our relationship". She went on to say that "I think that former lovers or partners can be platonic friends and it has to do with being mature enough to handle something like that". I said that I think I can understand where she's coming from, and that as long as "she was honest about nothing happening on the trip, I didn't think it would be a problem either". She replied "no, nothing happened at all". I believed her, again.
About three weeks ago, I had made dinner reservations for us to have a nice meal just for a random occasion. Before the dinner - she told me that she contacted "Matt" and told him that she wouldn't be attending the concert that summer and that she feels out of respect for her and I's relationship they should reel back their communication with each other. That made me happy to hear, as I had cut off almost all the women friends/ex's that I had out of respect for her quite some time ago. The conversation started to spiral at one point, and I began to ask more focused questions around her trip with "Matt". I asked her if he tried to kiss her. She said "no". I then decided to ask about sleeping arrangements. She said that he slept on the couch and she slept in the bed. I asked her "did you two ever share the bed any of the nights?". She was quiet for a second, and then said "yes we shared a bed one of the nights but he slept on his side". I said "did he try to cuddle you at all, or anything like that?" She was quiet for several seconds. I knew then that something had happened. I pressed harder and asked if they had hooked up. She finally admitted that they did.
I felt sick, betrayed, and like a fool. I don't even think what happened was the worst part. I think the fact that she lied for 6+ months about it and tried to sell this as a "purely platonic" friendship was the worst. I demanded to look at her phone. I went through her phone, and saw that they had pretty frequent communication. Nothing seemingly inappropriate, however when I found the texts about this music festival in our hometown this summer she said "you should come!". I asked her what she meant by that, and she said "I just meant he should go, not come with me.". This felt like a BS excuse to me, but she still defends it to this day. I told her that "I cant do this, and we can't have a relationship without trust" and I left.
She sent me texts that night begging for another chance. Telling me she was confused when it happened and she was very sorry. She told me that she felt pressured into a commitment with me and that she felt like she hadn't finished exploring the possibility with this other guy at the time. After thinking about those details, and how great everything else had been between us - I decided to give us another shot.
She has made significant changes that I had never asked for, but I still feel the pain of betrayal every single day. She has blocked his number, and removed and blocked him off all platforms. She turned on tracking on her phone, read receipts, she has thrown away the merchandise she bought on that trip to see "Matt". She has limited her interactions with her male friends as I have expressed that it just looks bad for her to have solo lunches with single male co-workers. She has been overly communicating when she goes on trips with girlfriends to make me feel more secure. I can tell a lot of these adjustments are really weighing on her, and I do feel bad - but it doesn't make my pain go away.
There are days where I feel this nagging, heavy weight on my soul. It's telling me that a relationship this early should not have this much strife. This is too much work, and maybe I should quit. It has turned me into an insecure man, which I was never before. It has me questioning if I can ever trust her again. The biggest problem, is that I love her and I see the potential for our relationship if we can move past this and pretend like it never happened.
Most days, 90%+ of the time I feel like I can show up in a way where it's not impacting me. These days are wonderful. We share so much love, laughs, and connect on so many levels. The days where it's impacting me, I feel like I shutdown. I try to handle the thoughts myself, which she can tell and it ultimately sabotages us, and our day.
I also find smaller issues "triggering" the big thing that happened. A couple examples would be, she said "you really turned a hoe into a housewife" the other day. For whatever reason, this triggered me because in my head I said "why would you even say that?". This ended up in a long heated discussion over that comment because I expressed to her how it triggered me, and how I view her action on her trip as a "hoe" action and I think that was a trigger.
Recently, she planned a river rafting trip with some friends of hers (2 females, 1 single male friend of hers). I wasn't invited to come on the trip, until after someone else decided they wanted to bring their partner. I expressed to her that I felt like I was an afterthought, and the fact that she was going on a rafting trip with a single guy in the group seems like a no brainer to invite your boyfriend to come a long with, especially after what happened and how we're trying to repair us.
I know this is a huge wall of text. I'm sorry, and thank you for reading. I don't know how to move forward. I love her. She was all I wanted, in the beginning. I feel like what happened has changed me for the worse. Am I making this a bigger deal than it should be? I know if I keep going at this rate, I will implode our relationship with my insecurity. If that doesn't happen, then we will both be consistently miserable and then my biggest fear of something happening again will likely come true.
I could really use any advice on this matter, and also if you think my feelings around what happened are valid or if I'm blowing this out of proportion.
Thank you all.

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TLDR: close group of professional friends, not sure if people are haters or our behavior is genuinely too much
I’m in grad school and so are a whole group of my friends. Before matriculating though, a bunch of us went through a program that kinda preps first generation students for the rigors of academia. It was a hellish experience tbh and involved some of the most traumatic collective experiences most of us have had in academia (like straight up, there were deaths in nearly all of our lives/families/friend groups that we couldn’t attend to, someone almost died because of academic demands, there were sexual assault attempts, systemic violence). And because of that, combined with our determination to get through it all anyway, a big group of us trauma bonded and stayed friends when we all went our separate ways. We talk almost every day and have become actual friends.
Earlier this year, there was a leadership conference with an election for membership on the board of a particular professional organization and it was the first time we all got together as a group. It was a hard time for us because we had to gather in the same place and see many of the same people that traumatized us, but we also had an election to run. It ended up being highly contentious, so we decided early that the best thing to do would be to openly support eachother and eachother’s friends (or rather, highly respected but enjoyable colleagues) and other people who seemed amenable to our style of doing things (specifically: no dirty tricks, running from a place of community, support, and good clean positivity) and campaigning as a large group. Other people did try to be kinda underhanded about it, which only strengthened the bond between us, our new members in our group and our supporters.
We won, of course. We are all super qualified, charismatic, hard working people who know how to rally support.
The rest of the conference, we just had fun while also networking, attending events and trying to work through some complicated feelings. But because our group was big and we were at all the good parties and we almost always traveled with someone else from our group, and because very influential people in our field like us, people started getting weird about it. People were jealous that there was no room at our table because high profile academics were sitting with us. We were more outgoing than everyone else and people from our schools were jealous that we weren’t spending more time with them. One night after a very draining day, we decided to all have a moment alone to decompress at our favorite bar and it’s a cool bar so of course we took snaps. We have tried to be inclusive and make a lot of friends and meet everyone, but that seems to only worsen the jealousy when we’re successful.
One of the influential people we’re all close with told us that people were starting to refer to us as a cult, and months after, that reputation has stuck. People talk about how we all talk every day, how we hype each other up on socials and networking sites, how we all party together when we’re in the same cities and often end up collaborating. The fact that we are also all highly motivated and successful people who get asked to do elite things (which means we travel a lot and get to do cool things together) hasn’t helped. To their credit, I will admit we are maybe too comfortable with each other: we try each other’s drinks and food, I let people nap in my bed if i’m not there or drive my car or shower in my hotel room (I always get my own room).
To be honest, this is all super funny to me because we’re just chill people who want to do good in our field and happen to like each other but the fact that it’s spreading beyond our immediate circle has me wondering if it’s actually not funny. Like, is it really that dickish to be bonded to people you work with? Or is this just high school behavior and it comes with the territory?

Very specific circumstance I guess but anyone ever done it, or had it done to them?
In a weird situ with my ex, nearly 3 months after break up now...her mum died last year and the grief really hit her in january... she clearly doesn't want to let me go, and has feelings for me... we've been loyal to each other since we split up, and had 5 weeks where it looked like we were getting back together but then she blew it up.... so although im pretty confident that she wants to be with me, she is also saying she doesnt want a relationship.
We have a concert and a festival together next week, and have been texting the whole time but not seen each other since she blew it up 7 weeks ago.... she didn't want to see me during her exam period (presumably because she didn't want anything that could impact her emotional stability whilst she was focusing on exams). It's not that she doesn't want to see me as we saw each other alot during her last university holidays and will be together most of next week (including 4 nights).
My instinct is that most of the break up was to do with her pushing me away when the grief hit rather than issues between us... my instinct is also that the only barrier stopping us getting back together is her intense aversion to being vulnerable.... she's always had that trait, but the grief has magnified it hugely.... her thousands of friendships are superficial and she doesnt let anyone in. Except me. Which is why I've been pushed away because I make her feel vulnerable.
I want to be with her which is why I've stayed loyal and supported her despite varying degrees of erratic behaviour since we split. I can be patient but I need some certainty that I'm waiting for something rather than waiting for nothing. Just wondering if anyone has been through similar and wanted to share?

Hello hello. I hope you enjoy this short introduction of myself.
Some have asked why I've come here to seek this, and really, why are any of us here? We're searching for something that we can't find elsewhere so we've decided to give this a shot.
I've tried other sites without luck and dating is difficult in my area. By that I mean everyone is super country, as in enjoying fishing and listening to country music while complaining about liberals. Or, to phrase it another way - guns, God and Trump. That's a hard pass for me, so this seems like the next step.
A couple of things before I start:
Distance isn't an issue for me. I'm hoping to meet someone and chat to see where things lead, if there's a connection of any sort. If there is, we can move from there. Distance is a relatively small issue if you can find someone who is truly perfect for you, after all.
I should also mention that, for the most part, age isn't an issue. To some extent it will be of course, but I don't mind a bit of an age gap in either direction at all. If it's an issue for you, that's understandable; however, if you think it will be for me, well the only way to really find out is to message me, now isn't it?
I'm open to anyone who sees this and is interested (including those of any experience level) as I don't want to limit myself when I could possibly find chemistry with someone.
Also, while I am in general an emotionally intelligent, nurturing and supportive person, I'm also a massive sadist. To be more specific, I enjoy psychological sadism (although physical sadism is definitely fun too) and that is reflected in my kinks and, to some extent, my personality. While I believe boundaries and limits are to be respected at all times, and I don't enjoy anything if my partner doesn't, I absolutely love teasing, tormenting and torturing my partner in both play and everyday life.
Prepare for a mountain of text! It's a bit long, but I assure you it's worth the read. I decided that since I'm putting myself out there with a post, I want to truly and fully put myself out there and represent myself. I'm hoping that those reading this will recognize the effort that was put into this and get a good feel for who I am as a person. If you feel it's too much, save it for later, skim or even just message me if you would rather get to know me more naturally.
My post is cobbled together from thoughts, beliefs and realizations that I have come upon in my years in the lifestyle (which is why you might see slightly different styles of writing in different parts, this post is taken from my kink profiles and are the sum result of over ten years of experience that I find I still add to every now and then. I try to edit and organize it a bit from time to time, but it's difficult due to the fact that there's so much that I wish to include.)
Long story short, I can be a bit...rambly, sometimes. So apologies in advance for that, although I have recently made great strides in editing my post. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
While it's certainly a lengthy read, it's not nearly as bad as it seems. I recommend reading the whole thing (obviously since I wrote it), especially if you're interested in getting to know a kinky, geeky and empathetic person.
Now that I've covered that, it's time to get to the part you've been waiting for.

About me:

I decided to put this part first because I believe that, above all else, the people involved should connect on a personal level and "click", if you will. This tells about who I am and my hobbies and such. If someone can't accept this part of me, how could we possibly get along?
I'm a lighthearted, playful and fairly laid back, yet somewhat serious minded, person who's rather upbeat and probably too curious for his own good. I'm also kind, caring, friendly, sometimes cynical and often sarcastic (although in a lighthearted manner, and never at the expense of others.) There's nothing I love to do more than laugh; I love most things involving humor, although I do believe there's a very fine line between hilarity and stupidity.
Now, for some little bits of trivia about me:

• According to the Myers-Briggs system, I'm an INFP. Online tests can give you an idea of where to start, but they're not that reliable and the results can change depending on your mood that day. To truly discover your type requires self-reflection to learn about your cognitive functions, and while doing so I learned a lot about myself. I don't follow it religiously, but I believe there are some elements of truth to it.
• I'm definitely a Type B Personality.
• I'm a hopeless romantic, an old soul who's young at heart, a cynical optimist and a realistic dreamer.
• I'm definitely that type that believes in better safe than sorry, and one of my mottos is "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." I also tend to do copious amounts of research before any big decision.
• I consider myself to be a very grounded, down to earth and genuine person.
• I'm extremely friendly and believe in treating others with the same respect that you would like to receive and generally try to do what I feel is "right" by others (more on that in a bit.)
• I like to believe in the best of human nature, although I seem to be let down a fair bit. Even so, I don't want to let that stop me.
• I have very strong values and ideals, and an even stronger moral compass.
• I believe people are free to do and believe what they want, so long as they don't harm themselves, harm, cause trouble for or inconvenience others, or attempt to force those beliefs on others.
• I believe that a life lived for others is the only life worth living.
• I believe that there's no point in worrying about things that you can't change. If you let yourself get dragged down by it and obsess over it, you'll find yourself crushed under the weight of all the injustices in the world.
• I've been told (rather often actually) that I have a very nice voice, frequently being told that I should go into radio or be an announcer of some kind. I'm very expressive and my voice reflects that, having lots of highs and lows. Truthfully, I believe it's one of my better features.
• I much prefer talking to typing in general, especially when first getting to know someone as you get a much better idea of their personality. Also, I feel like I come across kind of...stiff in my writing style when that's very much not me, so voice allows me to showcase my truest self.
• I tend to be a confidant of sorts; due to my open and genuine nature and what I've been told is a welcoming...aura, I suppose, people tend to find me easy to talk to and trust, coming to me to confide things and seek out advice. This is something that brings me great happiness and pride as having the trust of others is important to me.
• Promises are very important to me; once I give my word in regards to something I'll keep it, even if I don't particularly want to. As cheesy as it might sound, to me my word is my bond.
• Admittedly, subtlety is not one of my strong points. I'm a very open, upfront and honest person. I'm terrible at lying (I hate doing it and I just give away that I am) and can't keep a straight face to save my life. If I were an actor, I would probably be Jimmy Fallon.
• I welcome people to give me constructive criticism and feedback as I'm constantly looking to improve myself. Yes, that even includes those that message me saying my post is far too long.
• I can't fake a smile to save my life, it has to be genuine for me. One of the many reasons I hate having photos taken of me.
• I find intelligence, humor and kindness to be the most desirable traits in a partner (although being easy on the eyes doesn't hurt.)
• My senses are all very sensitive, and can sometimes overwhelm me when I'm introduced to new stimuli.
• I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. Wait, I'm just kidding, just wanted to throw a little Mitch Hedberg in here. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. While I have no issue with those who drink, I do tend to avoid smokers and hardcore drug users.
• Despite what the length of my post may say about me, I absolutely hate writing.
• I enjoy visiting places but hate the actual traveling (which is one of the reasons why if I could have one power it would be teleportation [actually if I could have one power it would be the ability to manipulate space and time, however for simplicity's sake I'm just going to say teleportation for now {not Star Trek teleportation though, fuck that.}])
• I hate waiting and I hate making others wait.
• I love the symbolism of trees and what they represent: strength, vitality, protection.
• If I had to rank the seven deadly sins in the order that I'm guilty of from most to least, it would go: Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Lust, Envy, Greed and Wrath.
• If I were to list the Magic the Gathering colors that I most identify with from most to least, it would go: White, Blue, Green, Red and then Black.
• Growing up I was all about DBZ, Dinosaurs, Gargoyles, Ghostbusters, Ninja Turtles, Pokémon, Power Rangers, Spider-Man & X-Men.
• I absolutely love animals and have two cats of my own, Ivy and Jasmine (there are wonderful stories behind both names), that I love to death. I probably talk to them like people a bit too much.
• I spend far more time living in my head than I should.
• I firmly believe that breakfast offers the best food. I could eat waffles everyday.
• I call Gatorade by their flavors as opposed to their colors.
• I absolutely love when I'm thirsty and soda burns my throat.
• You won't catch me running unless something is chasing me. Partially because I have asthma, but mostly because running is awful.

Over the past several years I've come to appreciate music a lot more than I used to (before it was simply used as background noise as I can't stand silence) and have discovered that I'm a fan of alt-metal, heavy metal and hard rock more than anything else.
Some bands I enjoy include:

Adelitas Way, Amaranthe, Breaking Benjamin, Disturbed, Evans Blue, Five Finger Death Punch, Gemini Syndrome, Otherwise, Pop Evil, Sevendust, Shinedown, Shaman's Harvest, State of Mine, Theory of a Deadman, Three Days Grace (before Adam Gontier left)

I enjoy other types of music as well, for example another band I like is Bowling for Soup as I love their sense of humor; it's great to see people not taking music so seriously. I'm also a fan of big band music, which I actually have Fallout 3 to thank for. I enjoy classical musical as well and, despite having no real knowledge of it and most of it sounding the same, I find it incredibly relaxing and peaceful.
While I enjoy relaxing and watching television, I have trouble watching hour long shows as I can only focus on it for so long before my attention wavers, around that time I start looking at my phone and just waiting for it to be over. It's also why I don't watch too many movies; I need my entertainment bite sized. I'll watch movies every once in a while, but they generally need to be 100 minutes tops (unless it's something I'm super into.).
I have difficulty getting into things that are realistic; they usually need to be fantastical in nature and capture my imagination. My preferred genres are comedy, horror (mainly supernatural, no slashers) and most things involving special powers or abilities, however I can sometimes get into action or drama as well. I also have a love for the world of animation, possibly because they tend to be more creative and aren't limited by reality; it's part of why I'm so partial to anime.
Some shows that I'm fond of are:

Animation: Adventure Time, American Dad, Archer, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bob's Burgers, Bojack Horseman, [China, IL], Disenchantment, Futurama, HarmonQuest, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, King of the Hill, Metalocalypse, Mike Tyson Mysteries, Mr. Pickles, Rick and Morty, Robot Chicken, South Park, Superjail, Ugly Americans, Venture Bros.
Live-action: Arrested Development, Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad, Carnivàle, Dexter, Eureka, Friends, Game of Thrones, The Good Place, House, The Lost Room, Monk, The Muppets (2015 series), The Office, Parks and Rec, Psych, Stargate, Stranger Things, Walking Dead, Warehouse 13, Wilfred

I definitely binge my shows, I like to wait for a season (or preferably an entire series) to be done before I jump into it. I'm also the type that's fine watching something just once. If I ever feel the need to watch it again it will be many, many years later. This extends to games as well, I generally need things with replayability such as MOBA's or Rogue-likes.
Gaming is easily one of my biggest hobbies and has been for many, many years now. I see it as an art form, as a way to tell a story that you can deeply immerse yourself in and get pulled into, something that can captivate you and make you lose all track of time because it's simply so engrossing. It's also a damn good way to have fun and kill time, especially when you're playing with friends. It's a big part of my life and something I have spent quite a bit of time and money on. Some people may be put off by this, but it a part of me that I will not deny or hide; after all, if someone has an issue with that then how compatible could we possibly be?
Some video games that hold a special place in my heart are:

Action/Adventure: Alan Wake, Assassin's Creed, Bastion, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Bayonetta, Brütal Legend, Bully, Darksiders, Dark Souls (first one), Deadly Premonition, Dead Space, Devil May Cry (3 & 5), Enslaved: Odyssey to the West, Heavy Rain, Hellblade, Infamous, Last of Us, Legend of Zelda (A Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker), Luigi's Mansion, Metal Gear Solid (Twin Snakes, 3, 4 & 5), Ninja Gaiden (2004), Overlord, Phantom Crash, Resident Evil 2 remake, Saint's Row 2, The Saboteur, TMNT: Turtles in Time
Fighting: Anarchy Reigns, Blazblue (series), DBZ: Budokai, Dragon Ball Fighterz, Marvel vs Capcom (2 & 3), Mortal Kombat (9 & 11), Soul Calibur 3, Super Smash Bros. Melee
MOBA: Dota 2, Guardians of Middle Earth, Heroes of the Storm
Rogue-like: Binding of Isaac, Crypt of the Necrodancer, Darkest Dungeon, Dead Cells, Don't Starve, FTL, Monster Train, Slay the Spire
RPG: Bravely Default, Dragon Age (Origins and Inquisition), Dragon's Dogma, Elder Scrolls (Oblivion and Skyrim), Fable (1 & 2), Fallout (3 & New Vegas), Final Fantasy (IX, X & Tactics Advance), Grim Dawn, Mass Effect 2, Pillars of Eternity (series), Pokémon (Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver & Stadium), Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Suikoden 2, Tyranny, The Witcher (2 & 3)
Shooter: Bioshock (series), Battlefield Bad Company (1 & 2), The Darkness, Deep Rock Galactic, Gears of War (1 & 3), Left 4 Dead, Shadowrun (2007 FPS), Team Fortress 2 (when it first came out, it's a little much now), Vanquish
Simulation: Animal Crossing (first one), Doki Doki Literature Club, Harvest Moon, Life is Strange, Pokémon Snap, Tabletop Simulator
Strategy: Civilization (3 & 4), Endless Legend, Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers (2012 & 2013), Portal, Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds, Warcraft 3

Not only that, but I've also gotten into tabletop gaming, including both board and pen and paper games (such as Dungeons and Dragons.) I initially got into the latter as an exercise to strengthen my creative muscles but found it was a fun way to goof off with friends. For the former, it's almost gotten to the point that I enjoy them more than most video games as it provides an experience that you don't get anymore; friends gathered around and competing against one another or cooperating against a common foe, something that's disappeared with the advent of the internet.
Some board games that I love are:

BANG! The Dice Game, Dead of Winter, Dice Throne, Epic Spell Wars, King of New York, Lords of Waterdeep, Munchkin, Pandemic, Red Dragon Inn

I enjoy reading as well, although I find it difficult to find a book that can keep my focus and really draw me in like I crave. I'm constantly on the prowl for new material, and my favorite genres would probably be apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic, dystopian, horror and dark fantasy/grimdark, although I'm certainly in the market for something that has a good element of humor to it as well. If you have any recommendations, I'd absolutely love to hear them!
Bring up video/board/tabletop games, super powers, comics, cartoons, anime, manga, sci-fi, fantasy or technology and I'll happily chat your ear off. I'm quite social and love to talk, however I'm also an introvert so there are plenty of times where the pressure of constant social interactions with others gets to me and I need to take some time to myself to mentally recharge.
As I mentioned, I absolutely adore animals. Seriously, if you want to make me hate a bad guy, have him hurt an animal. Ironically, I'm practically a carnivore. I'm convinced that I would starve if I had to hunt for my own food just because I couldn't bring myself to hurt them.
Speaking of food, I'm a bit of a foodie (I dislike that word, but it's accurate.) I'm all about sauces, seasonings and spices, not to mention a love for anything deep fried. I love experiencing different tastes and textures while trying new things...as long as they're not vegetables. No veggies, except corn and potatoes; those two get a pass as they're amazing. I also enjoy onions and peppers in small quantities in dishes.
I've got a nice guy next door look in that I have no tattoos or piercings, have glasses, stay clean shaven and have a bit of a baby face (as in I look rather young, I often get mistaken for being in my mid 20's). I wouldn't say that with my look I would be called handsome, sexy or hot (however I am often called cute (I've also been called handsome a fair amount, it still feels weird though.) I'm also rather pale due to the fact that I stay indoors most of the time (if you can't tell from that, I'm white.) Because of my appearance, and my friendly and laid back nature, people tend to view me as rather innocent. I suppose that isn't entirely incorrect though, I'll admit that I can be a bit naive at times in regards to people and the world.
As for politics and religion, I tend to try to stay away from both.
While I believe I'm somewhat in the middle for the former, as I have views from both sides, if I had to choose I'd say I definitely lean way more towards the left. I believe in the greater good, the needs of the many over the needs of the few, in advancing science and finding alternative fuels and materials that don't pollute or destroy our environment in the process, in trying to create a brighter future, etc, etc. I'm definitely not on the far left however, and hate social justice and cancel culture. I'm empathetic and all, but people need to stop getting offended by every tiny thIng and creating problems that don't exist. That's definitely not exclusive to the left, the right is very guilty of it as well.
For the latter, I generally just consider myself not religious as I don't think or care about it too much. If I had to classify it though I'd say I'm agnostic. This means that, while I don't believe in any god or gods, I acknowledge that they might exist. While I'm 99.3̅3̅3̅% certain that there is no grand creator or afterlife, there's no real way we can know for certain. We're a very young and ignorant species, there's much about life and the universe that we are unaware of or don't understand yet.
I just try to focus on being a good person and doing right by others, not for some earthly or heavenly reward, or for a smug sense of self satisfaction, but because it's simply what I want to do. It's who I am and what makes me feel good about myself.
I try my best to live by The Golden Rule (also known as treat others you the way you wish to be treated or do unto others as you would have them do unto you), being guided by own moral compass that directs me in how I interact with others. I always do my very best to make others feel wanted, cared for, appreciated and understood, to give them validation; I never want anyone to feel left out or unwanted, for any reason at all. Perhaps it's from my own difficult childhood, since I felt that way when I was young and don't want others to go through the same things that I did. Whatever the reason, whenever I say or do anything I tend to, without even realizing it, think about how it will affect the other person and the different ways that it could be taken. I strive to treat others with the courtesy and respect that I believe that they deserve.
As I mentioned, I have a strong moral compass. The only problem is, this is true North for my compass; I feel that's the correct way to treat and interact with others, and I believe that's what everyone should do. So when other people don't act in the way that I believe they should, even though I know everyone is different and everyone has different thoughts, feelings and experiences that led them to those (we are the product of our environments after all), it can bother me. I've come to realize that this is due to holding myself to extremely high standards, and often holding other people to the same standards to which I hold myself.
Unfortunately, that can lead to conflicts with others, sometimes over things that they might feel to be insignificant. It doesn't happen very often though as I can recognize whether something is actually a big deal or not and put it to the back of my mind; I wouldn't be a very good friend or partner if I nitpicked over every little thing, now would I? Despite being very much driven by my moral compass, I'm also calm, collected, understanding and logical by nature.
I've realized that I used to put a lot of pressure on myself when interacting with others, trying to be funny and entertaining, overall trying to make sure that they were having a good time and enjoying themselves. If, for whatever reason, I felt that they were bored I ended up trying even harder to keep them engaged and joyful. It was somewhat of a bad habit of mine; I suppose I just felt like I had a personal stake in everyone that I interacted with, a responsibility almost, and didn't want to leave them wanting. I still do this to some extent, but not as much as I used to; as I've grown and matured, and my anxiety has lessened, I've learned to pull back a bit and that I don't need to carry everyone's burden on my shoulders. I still wish to keep people engaged and happy, and still take on more responsibility than I probably should, however I imagine that I'll always be that way; it's just in my nature.
I'm an emotionally intelligent and extremely empathetic person who's well aware of his inner workings due to my introspective nature. I'm easily able to see things from multiple perspectives, which I believe is because of how I process empathy. I don't necessarily feel the exact pain of others, but I mirror it; it's second nature for me to put myself in their position which allows me to understand the plethora of ways they can think and feel. This is something that is a core part of who I am and that I take great pride in.
I feel deeply, which can lead to me taking things to heart and sometimes reading too much into things or overanalyzing them. Thankfully, due to my great experience in emotional control and regulation (which I'm about to go into), I'm generally able to take a step back from my emotions and understand the intent and meaning behind words and actions so there's less of a chance of misunderstanding.
Because I feel so deeply, that caused problems for me when I was younger. My emotions were a swirling vortex, out of control and ready to burst out at any second. Puberty certainly didn't make this any easier either.
It's been said that our personal identity is 80% environmental and 20% genetic. While I might be genetically predispositioned to feeling so deeply, a lot of it likely comes from traumas experienced in childhood and my inability to process them properly. They left scars that I'm still dealing with today, and as a result of said scars, growing up I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression and OCD, on top of the ADHD that I already had. However, I'm thankfully in a very good place thanks to a combination of past therapy, current medication and constant reflection.
I've done a lot of work to be able to get a handle on my emotions. Because I got used to having them under such control, I've been told that at times I can come across as kind of indifferent or hard to read. That's one of the reasons that I'm such an upfront, open, honest and expressive person; I want people to be able to understand me and I generally tell exactly what I'm thinking or how something makes me feel so that others can do that.
Honestly, one of my biggest fears is that no one will ever be able to understand me like I understand myself. It's right up there with a fear of the unknown (one is the reasons I don't do deep water, I don't want to fuck with any Cthulhu monsters that are down there) and losing my memories, as in the end we're just a sum of our memories and I don't want to lose who I am.
I never claimed to be perfect; I have my flaws as well, and try to work on them every day to improve myself as a person. Since I've already put so much of myself into my profile, I thought that it was only right to put the negative parts in as well.
While some of these things could certainly be considered negative traits, I believe that they help make me the Dom that I am. Because I AM so compassionate, because I AM so empathetic, because I HAVE been through so much and still keep going, I feel that I can give a sub or a slave what she truly needs to thrive in her environment. Feel free to read more about that below.

My Beliefs:

If I had to break down why this all appeals to me to one reason, to put it simply, I'd have to say that I'm the kind of person who wants to be needed. I find that, overall, I feel more driven and fulfilled if I know that I have someone that depends on me. If I have someone whose best interests I must keep in mind, who I need to protect and care for, I feel a greater sense of purpose than the humdrum rumblings of everyday life.
When you combine that with my nurturing and empathetic nature this type of relationship is the natural choice for me (more on that next). I believe that's also why I find myself naturally drawn to the weak, the helpless and the damaged. I have an overwhelming desire to heal them, to help and protect them while nurturing them and watching them grow into who I know they can be, which goes with what I was saying before.
A sub knows that her Dom loves her unconditionally and only wants what is best for her. While I do certainly enjoy doing this, I primarily do this to help my sub above all else. I'm a nurturing soul who wishes nothing more than to protect his partner. To take care of her and help her when she needs it. To be her support and her life line. To give her the guidance, structure and discipline she needs to feel fulfilled in life. To set rules and guidelines so that she can move freely within those set limits and be happy. To help her decide what is best for her when she herself doesn't know. To provide the security and comfort of knowing that she is being taken care of and that she has someone she can talk to about anything without any sort of judgment or prejudice. I want her to thrive and become the person that she was always meant to be. I enjoy pushing my sub to explore her boundaries and limits, within reason of course. I simply wish to see her flourish and blossom, to help her become what I know she can be and reach higher plateaus.
I realize the previous paragraphs could sound condescending in some ways, however that couldn't be further from the truth. I see my partner as an equal, someone who simply has different needs that I can fulfill so that they can live a fulfilling life themselves, and in turn by fulfilling those needs of theirs, I feel fulfilled as well. We ultimately form a symbiotic relationship of sorts.
Make no mistake, I have no desire to micromanage every tiny detail of my sub's life, nor form a codependent relationship where she's entirely reliant upon me for her mental and emotional needs. The level and extent of the D/s relationship is decided after long discussion and input from both parties.
Some believe that being a Dom is just telling people what to do and getting what you want while getting off, but it's so much more than that. It's not as easy or simple as it appears, you must always keep what is best for your sub in mind, even if it conflicts with your own immediate or future interests. You must constantly be aware of her needs and desires while providing checks and balances to help her live a life worth living. Anyone can simply give a sub what she wants, it takes a true Dom to say no because you feel that is what is best for her.
At least that's how it should be. There are so many "Doms" out there that don't care about their subs at all, only themselves. They don't care if they're suffering physically or emotionally, they simply use them as toys they can play with and then toss aside when they're bored; they abuse them and hurt them simply because they get a kick out of it. A real Dom/sub relationship is a very special and strong bond, much more so than a vanilla relationship in my opinion. So many people seem to have issues understanding that unfortunately, there's a certain stigma associated with this and preconceptions are formed before they even learn anything about it.
Truthfully, I believe the sub holds the power in the relationship in many ways. She is the one that is choosing to submit after all, to give up her power and control to the Dom. Despite that, she is the one that has control over the power of safe words, that can stop an activity with a single utterance. Her subservience is completely voluntary, something that many people don't seem to think about. It's not simply about someone bossing someone around because they can, it's about someone choosing a partner that they feel is worthy to give their all to.

What I'm looking for:

I'm not here looking for a booty call or one night stand, but to find a potential partner in crime, possibly for life if a connection is made. More than anything, I simply wish to find someone who looks at me the way this girl looks at her prom date.
While the following is my ideal, as I said at the beginning, I'm open to talking to anyone that reads this. However, I'm not particularly interested in "littles" or "brats".
Ideally my partner would be what is typically called an adult babygirl, and I'd like to elaborate on that term since some might not be familiar with it. Essentially it's someone who enjoys the nurturing, loving and structured aspect of a Daddy Dom or DD/lg relationship but isn't a little themselves; meaning that they don't have a mental age that they regress to, among other things. (I don't identify as a Daddy myself, however due to my protective and supportive/nurturing nature you could say I'm Daddy leaning.)
Some people have their entire lives revolve around the lifestyle, going to munches, conventions, parties and attempting to reach out to their community and find a place to belong. That might work for them, but it's of no interest to me. While I'm certainly not opposed to chatting and making friends and connections, I have no desire to be a part of a community. I'm simply seeking one whose ideas and beliefs line up with my own for a symbiotic relationship as I mentioned before
If I had to describe such a relationship, it would definitely be on the lighter side of the spectrum in regards to what daily life would be like. I'm seeking a 24/7 TPE, however I also enjoy being casual with my sub. Perhaps in some ways it's more similar to a vanilla relationship with strong Dom/sub undertones than a typical BDSM relationship.
In my perfect situation, we would still be able to joke around, have fun and be very close and romantic; however there is also the constant understanding that I am in charge, and what I say goes. No matter how much fun we may be having or what we might be doing, she should always know her place, even if it's only in the back of her mind. There are rules in place for her benefit, and if she breaks those rules she will be punished.
By what I say goes, I mean I have the final say in subjects because, as a submissive, she has given the reins of power over to me. She trusts me to make her decisions for her and to do what is best for her, to take care of and protect her. I'm never the type to say "this is how it's going to be, I don't care what you want, end of discussion" as discourse is the only way two people can truly understand one another. I always value my submissive's input and always want her to give her opinion and speak her mind if something is bothering her.
My ideal sub would be one that is loyal and devoted above all else, but also one who is looking for a Dom she can actually have a connection with. One that, not necessarily needs, but craves guidance, support, structure and discipline in their life; whose life does not feel complete without this, like there is a void deep inside her that cannot be filled unless she has a Dom to guide and take care of her, that she can in turn make happy and serve to the best of her ability.
Beyond anything else though, I want to like them as a person before I love them as a sub. My perfect partner would be someone who is intelligent, kind-hearted, earnest, funny and a has a fair touch of dorkiness in her. I want her to be someone that actually has personality, that I can laugh with and talk to for hours upon hours on end and still hate the thought of leaving. Someone that will either indulge my love of games and geekery or join me because she's just as much of a fan of those things as I am. Someone who loves how I tease and torment her, keeping her on the edge and revelling in the pleasure I get from watching her squirm.
One thing to note is that just because I am very friendly (sometimes people are surprised when I begin acting more Dominant, others aren't as they say they can "sense it in the way I present myself", even while being friendly and joking around) doesn't mean that I'm not strict when I have to be. I have no problem at all with enforcing rules and giving out punishments, although it's certainly not my favorite aspect of the relationship. I would prefer to reward, encourage and nurture my sub, however there are times when discipline is necessary; if one feels the need to act up, one must be ready accept the consequences after all.
If I had to describe my style of dominance, or what makes me dominant, I suppose that would be a little tricky. I don't feel the need to control everything, nor do I attempt to, and I have no problem with kicking back and letting others take the reigns in everyday situations if I feel they're more qualified or I just plain don't feel like it. Nor am I the type that "oozes" dominance, I don't care for confrontation and am a very easy going, go with the flow person. What I believe it boils down to is I simply feel comfortable with power and, quite frankly, enjoy it. I bear the burden of leadership well, it comes naturally to me and I thrive when I have the weight of another's life on my shoulders; I have little trouble making hard decisions when I need to. It also helps that my sexual inclinations line up with this nicely. If it doesn't last quite some time and doesn't end with both parties panting and soaked in sweat, I'm not particularly interested in it.
On that note, I have quite the kinky side despite my friendly and charming exterior. I suppose I should list it here because, while certainly not the primary focus of my interest in this, sexual compatibility does factor in to some extent.
My kinks are:

Anal, begging, biting, blowjobs, body worship, bondage, choking, cock worship, consensual non-consent, creampies, crying (the good kind), cumplay, deepthroating, degradation, desperation, dirty talking, face fucking, facials, free use, hair pulling, hole stretching (basically pushing my partner to her limits), humiliation, hypnosis, name calling, objectification, orgasm control (which includes edging, forced orgasms, orgasm denial and ruined orgasms), public play (in a discreet manner), slapping, spanking, spitting and teasing.

One thing I feel I should mention is that the acts of degradation and humilation are limited to play time and only sexual in nature, never attacking my partner in any way.
I also believe very strongly in aftercare and safe words as the mental and emotional well being of my partner is very important.
I realize there's no one way to live this lifestyle, but I feel like a lot of what I said should be obvious and general knowledge in regards to this; however from my experience it doesn't seem to be that way too often (not referring to the that are inexperienced in this, more those that do this for the wrong reason), which is why I wanted to share my views in such detail.
I feel like I've rambled on enough already and am dangerously close to having a TL;DR (yeah, I hit that ages ago), so I'll just say that if you're interested in learning more about me and getting to know me, you can give me a message and we'll see where things go. I like to get to know people naturally, just talk with them and see where things lead, whether that be a short chat, a simple friendship or something more. It seems silly to have expectations when you don't even know the person or how you'll get along.
Even if you're nervous or anxious, you think you might not be good enough, doubt my intentions or anything along those lines, still give me a message. After all, what do you have to lose?
Thanks for taking the time to read my little novella, I hope to hear from you soon. So long, and thanks for reading!

First Previous Next
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Squilla

Squilla looked up from the docupad and at the blank metal wall of her room. Tony’s code was all over the place and though she was able to keep him out of the more important systems—the ones that would give the AI control over the ship she didn’t want it to have—it was not enough to keep him out of everything.
Tony was everywhere on the ship, but at the same time not where he should be. Usually, AI systems would be focused on a specific task. Navigation was the most common, there were not many biological forms that could compute interstellar travel so fast. Communication was rarely given over to AIs, there were enough advances in basic systems to make it pointless to put an AI there. Weapons were dependent on the government – did they trust their captains more than their programmers?
But Tony was in all of those.
Tony was in the sprinklers that he used to torture Squilla every time she entered a room after their second acquisition of the ship. He was in the speakers and playlists. He was in every docupad and every light—including the ones used specifically to project his humanoid hologram. He was in the gym’s VR system – riding a rocket board in the air between Alice and Ilise and trying to distract them. At the same time, he was a sprite wearing armour and fighting rainbow dragons over the X button of that annoying pop-up for vigara that he sent to try and stop Squilla from reading his base code.
Tony was in the cleaning ducts, the weapons system, the comms, the DME, and the yet-to-be-installed stealth tech Ilise brought back on board. The device was only turned on in Squilla’s sandbox and she found fragments of Tony’s code.
A beep made her look back down at her docupad where Tony’s sprite was waving at her. It looked mocking. She shut off the pad’s screen only for it to flash with a giant pixelated grin followed by another ad-bomb full of enhancements, pills, injections, and the occasional gaming review.
Those last ones always caught Squilla’s eye and she had a hard time turning away from the last ARC-championship announcement or the gossip about the galaxy’s top players being in a polyamorous relationship.
“Please stop this,” Squilla barely got the words out before the AI’s hologram appeared in her room right by the door.
“You should take down that firewall,” Tony replied but he was smiling. He looked sweet. The docupad flashed with another ad-bomb and Squilla threw it onto the bed so she wouldn’t have to look at it.
“I take it down and half of these ads will download a virus onto your systems.”
“I can deal with viruses.”
“But not with a firewall?”
“Well... you’re good. We both know that. And it’s less of a firewall and more like hardened magma, waiting for me to touch it so it explodes and burns--”
“I’m sorry Tony, I can’t,” Squilla interrupted him. “We both know why.”
Tony said nothing but the pout on his lips almost, almost, made Squilla take her words back.
“That last time wasn’t my fault,” he said quietly, his voice moving to the speaker right by Squilla’s head and coming only from there.
The AI was flawless. The way it moved and shifted. It was so biological, like any other lifeform that Squilla had encountered. Sometimes, she forgot he was nothing more than code. Very advanced code, yes, but code nonetheless.
“I know. But we were lucky last time that Charyd didn’t get caught too. This time? Who knows what hidden doors and traps you have in your code that will make it so we all get caught.”
“I’d know if I had any such codes!”
“And you’d tell me?”
Tony was quiet. His hologram hugged his chest and looked away. It was so... human. That was the only reason why Squilla was able to get her defences back up and harden her tone as she said, “Firewall stays on until we get to a CEMP-dock.”
“CEMP-dock?!”
“Only for your comms, I promise.”
“There are not many places in the galaxy that have a CEMP-dock.”
Squilla realized she had already revealed too much. “I’m going to be late for dinner. We’ll continue this later.” She passed right through the hologram and made her way to the mess hall. It was dinner time and Polo had promised to make her favourite tonight – catappa leaves on top of boiled beetles sprinkled with the ash of burnad. It was also the perfect excuse to stop talking to the AI.

Ilise

The moment Ilise’s alarm beeped, she was up, dressed in the loose shirt Charyd had given her (that did not have the man’s scent on it, it really didn’t Tony, what the fuck? Why would you even ask that?!), bed made, and out of her room.
After weeks of being stuck, she wanted to be anywhere, even in the uncomfortable chairs on the deck. She knew Alice was watching her with a close eye, and because of that, she dared not enter Tony’s room in fear of a logger being planted on the biometrics by Squilla.
“Good morning, Tony. Any reason why it's cooler on the ship today?”
“The thermostat has been changed to 15 Celsius.”
That was odd, but it was nice to not sweat as much during her workout. “Any insight on where we might be located right now?”
“The Darkstorm is in space. Flying past some planets, and asteroids. Quite a scenic view, seen nowhere else in—”
“Can you narrow it down by galaxy?”
“I can. But I think you will be surprised when I show you where we are at. Polo has informed me the best things in life are surprises, like a jellyfish-filled donut.”
Her sister loved strawberry cockroach-filled donuts. She would aim her massive, big bite so the filling would explode and stain Ilise’s shirt. “I prefer to be prepared for anything. Could you give me a hint?”
“Yes, it orbits a sun.”
Ilise could not help but let out a loud sigh. She paused in the hallway, surprised to see Squilla standing outside the gym door without a tablet in sight. “Ms. Posey, I was wondering if we could talk.”
“It’s Captain Posey.” Her comm pinged and she glanced down at it. There was a short message from Tony flashing on the screen, telling her to “beware the kraken!”
“Oh, um, but well, you don’t captain this ship or crew for that matter. It would be like calling me Senator Squilla.”
“Well Senator Squilla of Charyd’s Crew, I am still a Captain by rank according to the military until my superiors say otherwise.” Her comm pinged multiple times. Tony probably sending a message one word at a time to her. “But I don’t think you came here to talk about titles. What is it?”
Squilla’s antenna flickered around, sensing, she crossed her multiple swimmerets across her chest. “It's about the AI. I think it has evolved too much. I need to know if you have a way to shut it down and restart it. It’s branching out into everything it shouldn’t. I can’t contain it.”
“Tony isn’t something to be contained. Tony is the ship, free in space. This is about your firewall.” That explains how Tony was able to determine where they were.
Squilla nodded. “I am asking you, for our safety, to tell me how to restart the AI you call Tony.”
Ilise leaned, getting close. “You can’t restart Tony.” She gently patted Squilla’s shoulder. “Though it sounds like you gave it an incredible try, better than anyone else ever has. I’d be willing to help you get a job in the cyber security department.”
Squilla peeled Ilise’s hand off. “A desk job never appealed to me. If you won’t help me, I will find a way to talk directly to Tony and figure out what their true processor is to make them stop. Nothing should have the power to be all over the ship. Departments exist for a reason.”
The threat emitting from the small person was enough to send chills down Ilise’s spine. “Then I suggest you keep your little clickers out and tucked in tight in your department.”
“Brrrr.” Charyd bellowed out. “You two need to chill – no heat out. Squilla, do you need my help?”
“No. I can handle things in my area. Thank you, Captain.”
“Hold up!” Charyd called out. “In all seriousness, it’s a bit chilly today. Do you mind checking the thermostat setting?”
“Sure, but it’s at the one we agreed to.”
She skittered away down the hall to the deck. Charyd pulled the hood on his grey sweater up over his head. “What? My ears are cold.” He then took a very slow and deliberate twice-over—nope, make that four—of Ilise’s body from head to toe, lingering a bit too long on her chest.
“What are you doing here?” Ilise growled out the question and crossed her arms over her chest as if that would help divert his attention elsewhere.
“Is that my shirt?” he asked then immediately waved a hand in the air. “Never mind. Holiday for Alice. You get me.” He walked into the gym, and she followed.
“Won’t be much of a race against you. How about a boxing match – gloves off.”
He morphed his fist into a large red brick shape. “Unfair match, I can make it as large and hard as I want.”
“You can morph into anything you want, why does most of your species take on the more human look?” The broad shoulders and thick dark lips, but his eyes were unique to him. Something he could change to blend in more with the humans, but instead used it to stand out.
“Because that’s what works better in the military. Alright, to keep this fair.” He grew taller than her, his fangs protruded out as the lower lip pulled out and his upper tucked in. His jaw became squarer and his shoulders and hips broader, stretching the seams in the sweater. “Oh damn. “
He wiggled out of his sweater, encouraging the sound of thread ripping. He remained in a tight-fitting work shirt, his pecs ready to bulge out. Ilise forced her eyes to lock with his (she would not be as rude as he was earlier) and resisted echoing his words. Her heart was racing and constricting in her chest. She cleared her throat a few times before talking. “Well, those arms will make this a bit unfair, but I will best you at bench pressing with that body ratio.”
Her comm pinged, and she scrolled through the messages from Tony, ignoring the single. Fucking. Letter. Texts that he sent her earlier while she was with Squilla, to see his latest. “The Shicor body ratio of 134/110/123 of shoulder, waist, and hip, would do better in bench pressing. Try squats with that ratio.”
Charyd was able to morph anything on his body, she would take any advantage handed to her by Tony. “Squats barbell.”
Charyd took a step over, wiggling and shifting his pants around his waist. Based on his gait, he must have shrunk parts of him down. He clearly had some experience in adjusting his groin and hips. He put the bar on the ground and began to load it up, starting small at a hundred and fifty. Her stare must have been burning into him for he looked up and wiped his hands on his pants. “I liked to do a stretch or warm up round to get a hang of a new body.”
“Mmmmhmm” she agreed.
The form of his clothes as he pulled up the weight left little to her imagination. She stepped around the back to watch him adjust the barbell and dipped into the squat.
“That’s a fine ass.” The speakers said.
“Mmmhmm,” Ilise replied casually. Then her face heated up and glowed purple.
Tony sent her a message. “You did not hear that.”
Based on the smile on Charyd’s face as he added an additional weight, he just got an ego inflation enough to hold 700 weights.

Tony

Systems check.

Create handshake with Cadoon.

Error. Cadoon not found.
I’m going to have to do this on my own like everything.

Find table Clothes&Accessories

Table found.
List items.
Run randomizer.
Show results.
Head: cowboy hat. Chest: breastplate armour. Legs: purple skinny jeans. Feet: scuba flippers. Accessories: VR-headset.
Rating Style: ?_

34

34 < 75
Running Randomizer again...
Head: Spiked rainbow mohawk. Chest: N/A. Legs: Orange brown kilt. Feet: Chrome Crocs. Accessories: Banjo.
Rating Style: ?_

30

30 < 75
Running Randomizer again...
Head: Long ribbon pigtails. Chest: Space Uniform Three-button shirt. Legs: Peacock feather decorated shorts. Feet: Yellow flip-flps. Accessories: Eye-patch.
Rating Style: ?_

29

I am not making any progress.

Run [email protected]

5 entries found.
List Complaints
Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Sprinklers. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Disco lights. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Stupid Sprinklers. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Failed Ad blocker. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: ‘HR Complaints’ do nothing.
No one cares about how I dress. Or hates me. I’m not annoying.
I’m not making a first impression. But just in case.

Run JobApprovalRating(Target Tony)

Accessing logs...

Stop

Last command has ended abruptly.
I’m just looking for excuses.

Build Outfit {

Head: Black Privateer hat with red bandana and feather. Chest: Brown Corsair coat with white shirt. Legs: Black leggings. Modifier: extra-tight. Feet: Black leather boots. Accessories: Parrot.
}
Outfit built. Register in database? Y/N
Y
Name?
The-privateer-totally-not-a-Pirate
Registered.

Access camera MH-042
Participant Count

7 humanoids found

Render “The-privateer-totally-not-a-Pirate" in location “Mess Hall”

Render completed.
They’re all looking. Time for an opener.
“Captains, may I have this honour?”
A humanoid is interacting with hologram.
Captain Charyd via chair.
Is he pulling out the chair? What does one say in this situation?
“You are looking great Captain from your workout.”
“You’re not looking so bad yourself.”

Render ass jiggle in chair.
Play macaw-bird-cry-6.

Humanoids are interacting with hologram.
Captain Charyd via moving the chair out for it. Scooball via raising a glass of iced water in toast. Polo via serving chips layered with cream and chives, designed like a processor. Ilise via reaching to pat near hand. Mishupeshu via slow blink toward it. Squilla via turning on dinner music playlist. Alice via pushing a napkin toward its plate.

Run: Recording-Happy-Memory

Logging Sound, Sight, heat sensors, and CO detectors.
If only I could log smells and emotions.
…
...
Warning: Fuel tank at 15%<<
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First Previous Next
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Author note:
Hello all readers! Ducks and I have an announcement for you: we are going on hiatus with this story for at least 2 months.
As much as we love this story, Ducks and I decided to torture challenge ourselves and have signed up for the publishing derby - this is an epic contest where we have to write a book in 2 months. Why not??? 🥲
We also each have our own main stories (The Thedre Trilogy for Ducks and God of Discovery for me), so adding OMD on top of that is going to be too much for both of us. Because of that, we have agreed to put Off My Dock on hold during the derby.
We will be back! We have a lot of interesting things planned for this story and are only halfway through our outline so far.
Hope you stick around for our return!!

I (23f) was diagnosed in my 20s after first being “flagged” as a teenager. Since entering therapy as a teen, I’ve been very focused on building my social skills and emotional intelligence. I am hyper-empathetic and am very, very conscious of how I come across. I never want to be mean or rude or snap at people. I try to police my tone and words often in order to make people comfortable. The last thing I want is to hurt someone because I’m being too harsh or rude without realizing. If I think I may be snapping or getting frustrated/overwhelmed, I make sure to voice how I’m feeling and what is going on. I apologize for “snapping” or getting frustrated, and make it clear that they aren’t the problem, and tell them what is bothering me. It’s not perfect but I’m trying.
Yesterday, my best friend (23f) asked me of everything is okay in my relationship with my partner (23m) because of “how snappy” I was during a crochet night the three of us had. I had been trying to start crocheting for the first time, and my bf and I were struggling. I was outwardly frustrated, but I repeatedly said I was frustrated that I was struggling with the stitch and not with my bf and bff. I apologized to both of them and explained of I was snapping I was sorry because I didn’t mean to and didn’t realize if I was. We eventually took a break and decided to pick it up again another day. I wasn’t pissed and yelling, just frustrated with myself.
She’s now asking if our relationship is okay because of my snapping. It totally threw me off and now I’m terrified and a little pissed. How many times can I make it clear I am not arguing or snapping with people, both in the moment and before/after, before people understand? This crochet night was 2-3 weeks ago so idk why she wanted to bring it up after I told her we were doing great and I was giving him a key to my place. We’re already set to move in together in September so I didn’t think it was a crazy jump.
I’m so tired of people turning normal conversations where there is no change in tone or feeling or volume from me is suddenly a fight or I’m being crazy and angry. It’s exhausting, I’m already trying so hard and yet my bff is telling me it’s not enough. She kept insisting something must be wrong in our relationship or in my life to cause me to act like this but literally nothing has changed!! If anything, I’ve been more relaxed in the last month than I was earlier this year after problems with school, my parents, and two loved ones dying. I feel so lost and small and just done.
EDIT: Want to add, in the moments where people “call me out” for snapping, I never feel even a hint of agitation or frustration. The latest example:
My bff: We should grab mozzarella for the pizza. Pizza has to have cheese!
Me: Yeah, that’s why I grabbed some :) I love cheese! (Smiling, same exact tone/loudness as before. I was grabbing a different food item so I wasn’t looking directly at her.)
Her: Oh, uh well I was just saying we should grab it.
Me: No I know, just letting you know I already grabbed it. Now we can grab the cookies and we’re all set!
Like, I wasn’t arguing or disagreeing! I was acknowledging what she said, and responded! That is literally it! It wasn’t until she reacted weird that I felt that I messed up.

Theres an army base near me thats always busy and has a $3 promo all the time, but its an army base. Can civilians just not deliver in there ? How do i get base credentials ?

So if I understand this right custodial hours are based on building size? And line h means we have to meet 90% of those projected hours or we're owed the difference? I've just been blindly putting 8 (well 7.5) thinking I need to cover my ass because it seems all this data is used against us (i.e. clerks get jobs abolished and the RREC drama). But is that not the issue with custodians? Am I only supposed to record ones that reflect the line h sheets?
So if say I'm doing a bunch of work not listed... am I recording that elsewhere? Or is it implied based on working 40 hr weeks but my sheets only say 20-30? I dunno like all things postal there's been zero training and input from management. They tell me I do things wrong, but won't tell me WHAT is a wrong and what the correct way is?
Also as far as line h is concerned am I supposed to file a grievance about the payout or is that something that happens at the end of the fiscal year when they look at the totals? Because they've only wanted these forms since November so it hasn't been a thing for me in a good number of years. Can our sheets be challenged or are we fucked there too? I have a 4.5 hr sheet just for lawn mowing but it lists it as "rider" and I have a pusher. A pusher I bought so it's like where are they even getting this info from?
Any help would be wonderful otherwise I have zero clue what I'm doing despite being here nearly 8 years this is all very new to me when I feel it's management's fault for not giving any training/information.