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So I know that relationships are very challenging when dealing with BPD. I myself thought I had come a long way in my healing journey and felt quite good about my self development process but getting into a serious relationship this year had made me feel like I’ve taken many steps back. Can’t help but too feel disappointed in myself.
Anyway, the dilemma now is I was dealing with a severe concussion lately and it was very hard on me and my mental due to the pain and honestly just being home while it’s finally beautiful out was driving me crazy. So I unfortunately projected a lot on my partner and kind of had a rage moment on him the other day which is very out of my character and communication style. But damn, I feel like I would’ve ended things with my own self from that. I’ve fallen into self destructive patterns in order to push him away and he finally pulled back.
Now pulling back really struck a cord and I truly don’t want to loose him. I know what I have to do in order to get myself back on track but I still want us to be a team while doing soo. Is it a bad idea to try again or should I spare him of me and the baggage I come with?

Let me start by saying I've chosen to stay ignorant about a lot in my life for the sake of my marriage. Until recently I firmly believed that if I didn't let "the little things" bother me and if I put my needs on the back burner that it was worth it and that was just the cost of having a "stable environmemt" to bring kids into. We have no kids. I keep getting excuses and it keeps getting pushed off...but that's a whole other topic. I convinced myself that being the best wife I could be was the best path for me. I took great pride in being the best wife...but I can't go back now. I want and need more.
Anyways:
I'm 32 HLF my husband is 35 LL. I've only just recently figured out that THIS IS JUST PART OF OUR DISCONNECT.
Married 8 years. Together for 11 years. For the last few years I have been repeatedly deprived of sex, shot down when I initiate sex. I get excuses like don't feel well, tired, sore from his physically demanding job. I was the only one who initiated sex. I asked for physical intimacy and got blatantly ignored. When we did have sex it was the same 4 positions (even if I asked for another position I was ignored) and I never got off.
I got on here venting one day and was overwhelmed by the amount of people who reached out to tell me to get out before it was too late. Well I have taken everyone's advice and I took my blinders off. I've decided that I am no longer willing to put my wants and needs on the back burner and I am ready to close this chapter and get started on my next one. Now before everyone gets on my case I tried fixing things on the home front and it was to no avail.
We are now in the process of separating per my request.
We got into a heated discussion the other day about our sexlife. He said I deprived him of sex for months on end and he stayed because of the love he has for me. I felt like I had gotten punched in the gut. This was not a fair argument on his end. Let me explain:
I've posted on here in another subreddit that I have BAD endometriosis (read that post if you want more context). I had surgery and during my recovery I was on a medicine that completely destroyed my libido but only for 4-5 months. I was so overcome with guilt that I couldn't have sex with him that I told him if he wanted to go out and find someone to fill that void he could (again I didn't know he was LL at the time). But I opened my marriage and told him I wouldn't ever hold it against him...and I meant it. He said he didn't ever do it because if it wasn't sex with me then he didn't want sex.
I am confused. Why was that brought up? I physically couldn't have sex but I gave him a reasonable alternative (or so I thought). Is this a guilt tactic? That he chose me over sex so I should do the same?
TLDR: while recovering from surgery I opened my marriage if my husband wanted to have sex with other people I was ok with it. My needs are no longer being met and I want to separate but he threw it in my face that I deprived him and that he stayed. Was this a guilt tactic?

A special thank you to the amazing u/SpacePaladin15 for this fun world.
A thank you u/ImaginationSea3679 y u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for helping me with plot stuff.
Sunday Time!
I had to rewrite this chapter because the other version was stupid.
[Prologue][Previous][Next]
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Memory Transcription Subject: Exchange Program Member, Arwen Conway
Date [standardized human time]: August 30th, 2136.
Earth, Earth hadn’t changed much in the last eight days I’ve been gone. I was glad for that simple fact. A part of me missed the lighter gravity, and I was hoping to happily see my family in a similar state. We had exchanged a few messages, but it was mostly to make sure I was safe. I felt safe-ish for the most part. Trivi ensured exterminators stayed off my back for the most part. There was one minor altercation in which I was accused of having hypnotic powers by getting three venlil to want to go to Earth, but Trivi and Tova shot that down quickly.
Now, how do I explain the fact that I am bringing home three guests other than ‘venlil curious about Earth,’ or is that enough? Maybe I should tell the truth regarding Quilix and Tova…
With how well I knew my father, I’d assume him to be pissed off, and my mother wouldn’t be happy as well; Quilix viewed me as a sexual object before a friend, Tova shouted at, clawed, and kicked me, yet Trivi was pretty decent. Well, he did point a flamethrower at me when we first met on the 22nd, but my father and mother didn’t need to hear that final part.
Quilix, Tova, and Trivi sat nearby on the train looking around with a mixture of nervousness, awkwardness, fear, and plenty of other emotions. Each one possesses the respective emotions; Quilix seemed really anxious or nervous about going to the ranch, Tova appeared awkward from all the stares, and Trivi was trying to hide in my jacket. I mean, he couldn’t fit in my jacket, but he was giving a damn good go at it.
“Your eyes are nice Arwen, but this.” He quietly gestured to the rest of the train cart, waving a paw toward the other humans. “Just… too many eyes. I feel scared.”
My lips curled up into a smile. A smile that no longer made the exterminator flinch. I reached down and stroked the speep’s head, pressing his chin deeper into my cleavage. A small move that wasn’t on purpose and made both of us blush, but neither of us pulled away. “Aww, is my big, strong exterminator afraid of a few humans?~” It was impossible not to tease him. Especially when his tail gave an annoyed flick!
“Gah, I can see why Tova referred to you lot as troublemakers. A bit much, but hmph!” He huffed, wrapping his paws around me, and try to pull himself closer to me. My hand resumed its petting, stroking down the venlil’s ears. A rumble eventually revved from his throat and he quietly buried himself into my bosom.
Aww.
My uncovered face took a glance upwards, eyeing up the venlil couple that sat in the seat in front of us. I was honestly impressed with how they took my hair. Tova accepted it with ease, but Quilix fainted much to my surprise. Though, it may have been my fault for accidentally splashing my hair into his face when he got closer to take a closer look. The long, wavy strands covering much of his face for the briefest moment before he hit the ground. It was amusing a little bit later though. It gave us something to talk about on the shuttle to Earth.
The venlil couple sat close together physically but emotionally looked far apart. They may have been thigh to thigh, with Quilix hopefully looking up at his mate with the occasional glance between sketching, but Tova was doing her best to look anywhere but her mate. Every small attempt Quilix had made that I knew to be a venlil courting attempt was shot down; leaning into, snuggling, intertwining tails, and so forth were met with apathetic responses.
Honestly, I couldn’t blame Tova, for if my partner had pulled what Quilix had done, I would have acted very similarly: Disdain for the aforementioned imaginary individual would probably be the biggest emotion!
They went to speak with their parents, and well… As racist as Quilix’s parents were to Tova. They’d rather Quilix and Tova both die than break up or well, that’s how the pair made it sound. Tova’s mother was the same way, but not racist.
I do not understand that logic in the fucking slightest, but honestly, I’m just glad I didn’t see that talk. Imagine being a fly on that wall. “You weren’t supposed to mate him, but now you’re mates, so you better be mates and make us some pups,” or something along those lines. ‘Tis what Quilix’s parents said and Tova’s mother was more along the lines of just no breaking up.
Again, thank God I wasn’t there.
“So, how are you two holding up?”
Unlike the first time when they saw my red hair, they did not freak out when their eyes turned to me.
“A little nervous,” Quilix admitted, rubbing his two paws up and down his thighs. Again, he cast a glance up at Tova, who ignored the look. This went on for a couple of seconds before his gaze lethargicly returned to his sketchbook. Again, I couldn’t really blame her.
“Agreed, but if I must admit. I expected humans to be… bigger.” A little funny thing I haven’t told Tova yet was that she was around the average height for a male in England. A little bit shy of it, but still very close to it. Meanwhile, females were around 5’3”, so, of course, she’d be taller than a lot of the women! “Oh, and the gravity is lower! Did you see my jumper earlier?”
Tova was referring to her jump the second they touched down, and to put it bluntly, she launched herself two-point-five meters into the air.
TWO-POINT-FIVE METERS!
My eyes were unable to control themselves and I spared a quick glance down at Tova’s legs. To be more specific, those meaty thighs that she possessed. If they were hollowed out and given just a smidge of stretch, I could probably fit one of them around my waist. I was lucky I was rolling away from Tova when she went for that kick, she probably could have cracked a rib if it was perfectly landed.
Jesus, she could break a person in half with those thighs.
To think Quilix’s scene required me to ‘beat’ the exterminator that had eight inches of height on me, actual ‘military’ training, knew how to wield a fucking sword, and probably had more weight in her legs than I had altogether. Yeah, that would have looked really goofy.
Heh, not that I am complaining.~
My eyes would quickly lower themselves down farther, giving a small glance down to the top of Trivi’s head. The blonde venlil firmly snuggled up into me, revving with content.
I wonder if Trivi would like to join that…
My eyes didn’t linger too long, rising back up and turning somewhat to the left, staring out the window as the train ventured across the border to Wales. The landscape having turned to light green hills a long time ago. “I saw it. Quite impressive, though, you did scare quite a few people when you did that?”
“I did?”
Tova may have not really been self-aware, so mentally absorbed in the fact that Earth had less gravity than Venlil Prime. This was something she was talking about for ten minutes straight after we landed in London’s spaceport.
“Yeah, and you almost clunked your head on the roof too.” The venlil’s face managed to turn a shade of orange despite her void-colored flesh. Her ears folding down in embarrassment when giggles escaped from the rest of us. It was honestly kind of impressive to see the muscular venlil go from giddy with excitement to tepidly shaking with chagrin.
“So…” I glanced down at Trivi, who whispered up to me quietly. “Are we going to tell Tova and Quilix the change of plans now, a little bit later, are you going to put them through a day, or are we going through the full thing?” His tone was quiet, barely even a whisper when those last few words got out. I had to tilt my head down into his ear so I could hear what he was saying.
“Option three,” I say, pulling Trivi up onto my lap, wrapping my forearms around his waist to pull him closer. My chin resting atop his wooly head. “Gaaah, I can’t get over how cute you are.” Trivi wasn’t complaining, resuming the quiet, but now louder rumble that came from his chest and throat.
“You two seem to have gotten close,” Quilix observed, taking his eyes off his little drawing book. A half-finished sketch of a pigeon in flight was on the current page. The line art was a little bit rough, but since it was the first pigeon he ever saw, it was to be expected.
“Humans like touching and holding things. Trivi is adorable, nice to me, and tries to be understanding of me. I like that. Meanwhile, he likes me, so all is well.” One of my hands manages to snake its way between me and the male, finding the underside of his chin before administering some scritches!
It was a personal weak spot of his that I managed to find that other day. He went completely slack within my arms the second my nails scraped the underside of his jaw. The rumbling growing in intensity to the point that it was more than audible.
“Well, I mean… mate-like close.”
Oh… Oh!
It was hard not to feel Trivi and my body tense up at the accusation. “We’re not mates,” Trivi clarified. “Just really good friends,” he continued, resuming his slackening posture as the scritches started up again.
I couldn’t help but notice the other two venlil stopped doing what they were doing to watch me scratch Trivi’s chin.
You can pet them when they make it up to you. Just. Resist. For. Now.
But I must pet them!
Resist Arwen! Resist the urge!
“Anywaaays,” I drag on with a growing smile, trying to switch to a new conversation. “Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch isn’t-” I wasn’t able to complete my statement because Trivi immediately sat firmly up on my lap, shooting me with a very befuddled look. Tova was equally baffled and Quilix looked like I just made up the name on the spot. It was hard to suppress my smile.
“The speh?” Trivi tilted his head to the side. “I thought you said it was Llanfair… Llanfair… Speh, however, you say that place’s name, but that??? What the speh is Saint Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the Church of St. Tysilio near the red cave. They should have their town name fixed! That’s absurd and long! How the speh did you say that!?”
Ooo? That translated? I don’t recall the shortened variant translated
I roll my eyes playfully and pull Trivi back down to my chest. “Relax you three. If you will just give me a chance to explain. Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, as I will refer to it for the most part since it is much easier to say. It had its name elongated to attract tourists about a hundred-fifty years ago or something along those lines. It was dedicated to a church of St. Mary, but that’s the extent of my knowledge. It’s really just a silly name for attracting tourists.”
The three were still giving me a mixture of befuddlement and bafflement, but I couldn’t blame them. Llanfairgwllgwyngyll was just an extremely long and absurd name. I frankly had to agree.
My hand traveled behind the back of Trivi’s ears, digging my nails in once again before moving them up and down, making the male melt once again. “We should be there soon enough. Once there, I will take you to meet my parents and meet the Wellingtons a few kilometers out of town. Obviously, drop off my stuff back home before we meet the Wellingtons.” I made a quick gesture to the large, heavy box between the four of us. “Sound good?”
Quilix and Tova both nodded, and Trivi just snuggled deeper into me.
“That sounds fair,” Tova was the one to speak up.
I lean back into my chair and close my eyes. My arms pull Trivi in for another hug. Hopefully, they remember to wake me up when we reach Llanfairgwllgwyngyll. It should be a few more hours.
I honestly can’t wait to be home.
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[Prologue][Previous][Next]
Heavily inspired by the likes of…
Pack Bonding
Foundations of Humanity
Mixed Signals (NSFW)
And I snuck in some lingo from Nature of Humanity
Don't Look A Human In The Eye
I highly suggest you check them out!!
A bit of a shorter chapter, but that's because I didn't start writing this until Friday.

A small rant while I sip my coffee.
My exmo husband and I are on vacation with my TBM family, and we were woken up at 8am to a call asking if we were coming to church with them. After saying they woke me up, they just asked again. So I said no, and my brother brought up that they talked about what time they would leave when I was with them last night, as if to say the reason I’m not going is because I’m lazy and forgot an alarm.
We’ve been through this before, and my family knows we never attend at home. Yet they still feign surprise at our lack of participation every time something like this comes up. It feels like they want me to explain why I’m not going which would blow up, so I won’t do it.
Honestly, I’m not that bitter and would attend if they asked me to because it would mean a lot to them or they want to do things altogether, etc. I just wish they assumed that the default is that we aren’t taking time from our limited vacation to listen to people worship a religion that isn’t ours (in a foreign language no less). It’s a boundary I’ve set many times but they still make me reinforce it like it’s new.

So….. afew days ago car started shaking and sputtering and wouldn’t excelerate engine and trac light went on. Mechanic said needs new coils and spark plugs. He initially couldn’t figure out why after changing it cylinder 1&4 where still misfiring till he realized his new parts where faulty. As I was leaving he said maybe there’s water in the gas from when I last filled up my car (was a full tank) Charged me $700. Drove it home and did it again after 20 minutes of driving. I’m bringing it in tomorrow I just don’t want to be ripped off so any suggestions what it might be ?
I don’t know what codes came up when he diagnosed it.

I've been waiting for this to come up in my memories so I could get the wording right... Back in 2020 when we were finally allowed to get out and go to the stores again, I was on my way down a back country road headed to the store. As I was driving, I must have gotten distracted and got a little too close to the redneck truck in front of me because as he turned into his driveway, he and his passengers flipped me off and yelled curse words out the window at me. So while I was at the store, I picked out the prettiest blank card I could find and wrote the following message inside... "I would like to apologize if I got too close to your truck earlier today. You see, I've had a really crappy day and my mind honestly wasn't completely focused on my driving. While I feel your (over)reaction of flipping me off and cussing me out was a bit much, I can see how you may have felt threatened by my minivan. Also for the record, I just bought it, and I'll admit it does get away from me sometimes. It's just such a smooth ride- I'm sure you can appreciate that! So anyway, I sincerely hope you can accept my apology. And I'm sure you feel better anyway, because flipping off and cursing a mom in her minivan with her two young, impressionable boys in the back was the best way to make everything better. Sincerely, The mom in the minivan that was on her way to the testing site.
P.S. I coughed all over this card."
I threw the card out the window into their driveway when I drove home. I wasn't on my way to testing, and I didn't cough on the card, but it sure made me feel better.
(And I know they got the card because one of them was in the driveway when I threw it)

My wife and I both have 15.6" IdeaPads and we use Google WiFi with one router and 2 access points.
The router puck is in the basement centrally located under the stairs, the first floor puck/extender mesh unit is in the kitchen (slightly offset to one side of the house) and the second floor puck/extender mesh unit is in my daughter's bedroom (sometimes in the hall which is more centrally located but prone to being knocked around).
I've run tests, everything is working very well according to google home, great wifi strength/coverage, yada yada.
but whenever my laptop (win10) wakes up from a sleep state, it is nearly always disconnected from wifi and it doesn't seem to want to reconnect. Yesterday the problem was so bad I actually rebooted the router from the google home app. I've never had to do that before. Yesterday, my wife (win11) reported similar issues where the laptop just wouldn't connect to wifi regardless of what she did. On my laptop, the globe icon appears in the task bar and when I click on it, it says that I'm connected to wifi but not getting internet.
I'm usually pretty good trouble shooting issues like this but I have not been able to figure this one out.
I'm reasonably certain this is a laptop issue as we don't have issues with our iPhones but I'm struggling with it.

I love my boyfriend very much. We've been together 5 years and I've only had eyes for him.
8 months ago I met this guy who's a small public figure. (Could subconsciously be the reason I like him) He messaged me on and off after meeting and was occasionally flirty. I did tell him that I had a bf, but I think he ignored that or forgot. A week ago he asked when we were going to hang out. I knew I should have said I can't because I have a bf, but instead I said I'd be in his area on Saturday. So I ended up going to his house. I had a great time, I love being around him. We sat on the couch together and every so often he would lay his head on me or cuddle me, which I rejected and he was very nice about that. I felt so safe and comfortable with him though. He asked if he could kiss me a few times (a part of me wanted to) but I didn't want to cheat on my bf so I declined. Then I went home.
Ever since that night I've been depressed and crying. Some of it is guilt, but the other part is I really like being around this guy. In the middle of the week I asked if he could hang out on Saturday because it was just so hard not to talk to him. he said he had to work but that he was off Sunday. (my bf and I are hanging out today, so I told him I was busy)
Other things in my mind: this guy doesn't text me a lot. Which makes me thing he just wanted to hook up and also I'm not sure if he'll text me again. It could be weeks or months. In a perfect world him and I could be friends, because I selfishly want him in my life. I'm also sad because I'm not sure if he even cares if I'm in his life. And thirdly that shouldn't even matter to me because I have a boyfriend. So I'm just confused. I know I should just move on, but it's almost as painful as a breakup. I wanted to ask him if he just wanted to hookup with me or could we be just friends? But I feel like that sounds needy. I also want to talk to my bf about this..maybe not that I have a crush on this other guy, but I need to explain some stuff because for the last week I've been on the verge of tears and not in the mood to do things with my bf.
My bf also knows about this other guy and that we've texted before. I've always been transparent with him until now. Any advice would help. Right now I want to either tell my bf what's been going on and hopefully when he gets past the anger he can help me with these feelings. Or inwant to text this other guy and ask where I stand in his life. I'm stuck so any advice would be appreciated.

(I'm not sure if this is against the rules, so mods please remove if so. And if you could suggest a subreddit that could help I would be very appreciative.)
As mentioned in the title, my brother is on a working holiday in Albania and is only there until the end of the month. He and his partner found two stray puppies who were hit by a car and he got them to a vet in Greece, and then took care of them again in Albania. He wants to get them homed but every place he contacts is either over capacity or doesn't speak English and can't help him.
Can anyone local in Europe/UK help us get these puppies homed or put us in touch with organisations who could help?
Both pups are fully healed up, have all their shots etc, and he's willing to help financially to get them wherever they need to go, but we just need help with facilitating all of this.
Any help will be appreciated! Thanks!

I am 18(F) and I've been having a long-distance boyfriend of similar age for about 9 months. I've been considering a breakup for some time, our relationship got really bland, but I was convinced things will become good again after we meet again. They didn't. I know the title might sound entitled, but I've been told this numerous times by several people, I've considered it myself and he admitted to if as well.
He comes from a completely different, uneducated background which manifests itself in his behaviour a lot and took me by surprise when I first met him in real life, because he didn't seem like this through text messages. A few days before, we've met again, for a second time in 9 months and he stayed at my home for a while. He lacks manners, doesn't know how to say "hello" and introduce himself to my parent's guests when I am not around, "thank you" after my mother ironed his shirt and set the table for him. He did not once dance at prom, and whenever I did, as it is my graduation party, he would get mad at me so I did not dance as much as I wanted to (four songs in an interval of like 8 hours). I feel like I wasted one of the most beautiful nights of my life. He didn't seem interested to have a conversation with my parents at all, and when I had a fight with them, he didn't have the common sense not to insult them with me. He doesn't know how to offer help when I was given a task, to carry some heavy dishes downstairs. He lacks social skills and fails to hold a conversation, even with me. When he left, he didn't even say "goodbye" to anyone besides me.
I have been heavily socialised all my life and value common courtesy a lot. I am well respected by almost everyone in my life. I put in effort in everything I do. He knows that I cannot visit him at all as this year is really hard for me, I have major, decisive exams to study for and I am unable to travel as I need to prepare for medical school. He had no interest to come visit me out of his own will, I had to basically beg for him to come see me for the first time and then for him to be my prom date. He then told me that he came because "he had no choice".
I feel like he has potential to change, but if he doesn't, I would waste my time and it is immensely hard to teach someone manners that should have been achieved years and years ago. Should I break up and move on from the relationship?
tl;dr: My long-distance boyfriend is not mannered enough to meet my expectations and I have realised that we have immensely different personalities. I want to break up.