TW: infidelity & mental health Hi. I'm 33F and have known for a long time about my attraction to women. I've identified as bi for several years, even though I only slept with men. I've been engaged to 3 men and married one less than a year ago.
I struggle with my mental health and have been on meds for over a year. Meds reduced so much crippling anxiety and depression, which has allowed me to function and think with more ease. I also endured moving states for the first time in my life. My sense of self was so wrapped up in my family, and moving was a shattering experience.
Stagnation and resentment was very much alive in my marriage. I have a curiosity that led me to explore the new city solo. Ofcourse, that led me to get better at talking to people (lifelong awk introvert). I've been growing in many ways including going to the strip club for the first time. One dancer in particular took interest in me. I regret not tipping her more. Blessed be the strippers and dancers, for they are doing the lord's work.
Several months later, I'm lying to my husband, throwing out toxic, inaccuracies & misunderstandings of polyamory. I'm also on dating apps. He was "okay" (but really not okay) with me going on a date with a lady. It was a really nice date. It felt more natural than anything to hold hands in public, touch regularly, and then to later do other stuff. We'd had a few days of build up and had one date prior where we didn't touch at all. I already knew I was more attracted to women, and finally being with one flipped an internal switch.
I've been warning my husband I'm more gay than he realizes. I've done so much damage to him and feel awful. I can't change who I am and he doesn't want me in a relationship with a woman. I'm angry and wondering what led me to have to answer to a man (there's other white man bs involved on his end). It's not fair to him that I lied and cheated.
All I know is I want to be with women and should not be married. My husband and I have separated. It's a confusing time where I love him due to our history, but we're not meeting each other's needs. Through this journey, I've found I've surrounded myself by strong women. I've reached out to these friends and family members and they have wept with me and helped me to get off the floor. They've patiently listened and agreed, yep all signs point to gay. I can't tell what I'm crying about half the time anymore. I know this journey would be much harder without the support. Family and friends are going to Pride with me next weekend. I can't wait to hug my mom.
Coming out late has been so painful and I've made a mess doing it. I'm trying to remember to be kind to myself. Currently living moment by moment. Finding outlets other than social media where I'm getting publicly blasted.

I really fucked up. I (25m) and my (23f) ex are still friends and we hangout alot. We went out with a friend to celebrate my exe's graduation. Some of her friends joined us as well. We had fun at first lost one of my vape bc it fell down a sewer. We had fun though; then we went clubbing. As the night went I got drunker and drunker. I should add that I'm in my lowest point of my life. I blacked out when we out of the club to smoke. My ex before beats me but she had a character development that she didn't do that anymore. I don't remember much but all I remember is I keep crying my heart out as I couldn't cry for months. All I remember last night is that my ex and I argued and this morning my friend told me everything last night. I was told that I punched her and slapped her last night because she pulled my hair as I was loud and crying. I was unhinged. I pushed her and slapped and punched her as remembering what shw have done before in our relationship. This happened 2 times as we went home I did it again as she was saying that thing that triggered me. I feel like an asshole for doing that to her. I never been violent towards her. My friend also was schocked to see that side of me. I am even scared of myself. I will not trust myself again with too much alcohol. Her dad knew what happend and said things that normal dad would. Now we are okay but I did not know that I am capable of doing that to her.
TL;DR We went out drinking I blacked out and punched my ex because she used to that to me. Her dad found out now I'm dead meat and a horrible human being.

Hello. Me and my partner currently live with her parents and sleep in a touring caravan in their front drive way. By way of some back story we moved in just before COVID after being evicted from our bungalow after the owner went into care and the family moved to sell. This residence was just over the road from our current address, and in total we've lived in the road for 20+ years. We get on with everyone in the close, my other half cleans and cares for a number of the elderly residents and we're always helping with odd jobs and requests like helping with picking up prescriptions, parcels, helping when there are power cuts and such. We've never received any complaints and we're both very discrete - no loud music, we keep the blinds down and don't cook or eat in the caravan.
So recently we spotted a couple who we didn't recognise taking photos of the caravan, and a neighbour informed us that they were unhappy about the caravan being in the close.
We've checked with the council and while we don't have anything in writing we can't find any laws or bylaws prohibiting caravans or people residing at the address using it as extra sleeping space.
We did however discover a covenant which was on the property going back to the 60s when the housing estate was built forbidding chickens, the removing hedges and caravans.
We're both on low incomes and in poor health and have no stomach or deep pockets for a legal dispute. The thing is that in the 20 years we've resided here about 20% or thereabouts of the property have or have had caravans without issue. Ours is kept clean, maintained and such whereas many are dilapidated moss ornaments, which leads us to speculate that the neighbours issue might have more to do with us inhabiting the caravan as opposed to its presence alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as we're very worried we'll become homeless.

This is my headcanon for the events following Suzerain as the game played out in my (communist) playthrough:
Disclaimer 1: This obviously includes many spoilers from the game.
Disclaimer 2: This story is written with storytelling and lore at the forefront, not necessarily gameplay accuracy.
(Part 2 is on my page if you can't find it elsewhere)
Disclaimer 3: This is only the first chapter (and backstory) of this headcanon story/fanfic/whatever you want to call it. I want to write more, but would like to see what people in the Suzerain community think about the writing so far and if they’d like to see more of it. :)
Background:
Anton Rayne got elected President of Sordland in his first term by promising progress and an end to the recession. In his term, he managed to fulfill these promises and more.
He ended the recession through several economic programs including an infrastructure program that included the building of a highway in Agnland, the distribution of stimulus checks for people in need, an agricultural revitalisation program in the city of Sarna, an economic revitalisation program in the greater region of Bergia, and the establishment of the Fair Trade and Competition Commission.
Rayne had also enacted his foreign policy that prioritised self-determination and non-intervention, which resulted in improved relations with many nations and many new trade deals with Wehlen, Agnolia, and Valgsland. In slight contrast with this policy, however, Rayne entered Sordland into the Contanan Security Pact. While this move alienated Sordland from some western-alligned nations such as Lespia and Arcasia, it increased trade and cooperation with nations of the east and many of the rising powers in Rika and Xina.
Rayne had also enacted gradual reforms of the economic direction of the country by nationalising several large corporations, most notably Gasom and Bergia steel. In order to temporarily appease the oligarchs, Rayne had through his nationalisation of Bergia steel, let Marcel Koronti, one of Sordland’s most powerful oligarchs, increase his power within his circle of oligarchs. He had also, through the extra income the state had earned from nationalisation and trade deals, been able to cut taxes for all, which further appeased the oligarchs. Rayne, as a communist, saw the oligarchs as a threat, however, he saw the sollists, nationalists, and fascists as a bigger threat that required a temporary appeasement of the oligarchs in order to focus on a larger threat within the nation. Towards the end of his term, however, when the old guard had in large part been brought down, Rayne removed the independence of Sordland’s central bank, a body of financial governing that had long been an extension of the power of the Lothenburg Group.
One of Rayne’s big promises of progressive reform included an increase in the healthcare and education budgets. This was also a promise Rayne was able to deliver on, and through the skillful leadership of education minister Ciara Walda and healthcare minister Paskal Beniwoll, the government was able to efficiently use this budget to make many positive changes to the education and healthcare systems in Sordland.
The increased healthcare budget was used to improve the quality of healthcare services provided in the country, especially in rural areas, as well as a complete subsidisation of dental care and prescription medicine for all and the relocation of doctors to rural areas. The Rayne administration also enacted several taxes on consumer products harmful to the health of the people, including a tax on tobacco and alcohol products.
The large educational reform that Rayne embarked on included a large scholarship program for impoverished families, the building of several hundred schools across rural areas of the country, and the relocation of teachers to rural areas. The reform also radically changed the curriculum of Sordish schools, with desollinisation of schools and an implementation of critical pedagogy and a larger focus on science, physical education, and the teaching of subjects unburdened by sollism. Rayne later established rural education institutes across rural areas of Sordland in order to further improve the availability and quality of education in rural Sordland.
The rights of women and minorities also became a critical issue for the Rayne administration. The first lady, Monica Rayne became a large figurehead in the battle against patriarchy and alongside Ciara Walda they established the Commission on the Status of Women and passed the women’s liberation act that included policies that helped victims of domestic violence, abolished the gender pay gap, affirmed equal access to education for all, and enacted maternity leave laws and state-funded daycare. The support of this commission and its policies, along with Rayne’s personal funding of the Sordish League of Women made them a loyal political ally to Rayne and his inner circle.
President Rayne also became known for his pro-Bludish sentiment that led to a political alliance with Mansoun Leke and the declaration of the minority rights act, the establishment of the minority rights commission that would be headed by Leke, and the granting of amnesty to soll-era political prisoners, many of which were Bludish activists.
Rayne’s other progressive reforms included a vast expansion of the sordish welfare program, that came to include the establishment of the Comission of Social Progress and Uplift, the workers rights act that gave better pay and better conditions to workers across Sordland, two new social benefits programs, one for the unemployed and one for impoverished families, as well as a complete subsidy of public transport and a lowering of the retirement age.
As a communist and subscriber to the ideas of Karlos Marcias, Rayne believed that for Sordland to enter a new age of socialism and communism, the power of the existing dictatorship of the bourgeoisie had to be toppled and replaced with a dictatorship of the proletariat. He saw the judiciary and legislature as being tools of the bourgeoisie. However, the presidency, now under a communist president, was Sordland’s chance for the establishment of a dictatorship of the proletariat. Rayne believed that he had to topple the bourgeois institutions of government, and replace them with new ones that represented the proletariat. During his first term, he started doing this with a very risky play. Namely reforming the constitution to give wide-ranging powers to the presidency while he continued to build a dictatorship of the proletariat.
The constitutional reforms included the replacement of the presidential veto with a pocket veto, removing the supreme court’s power to vote on constitutional amendments, removing the ability for the president to be impeached, decreasing the electoral threshold to 8% thus allowing Rayne’s Bludish and communist allies into the legislature, removing the requirement of reviews of presidential decrees, removing the immunity of judges, and abolishing the honorary position and immunity of Tarquin Soll.
Rayne used his new powers to crush the reactionary forces of Sordland, starting with a complete reshuffling of the supreme court. As an extension of the removal of Tarquin Soll’s immunity, Soll was then put on trial in front of a new supreme court that found him guilty and sentenced him to life in prison. After Soll’s imprisonment the Rayne administration started their de-sollinisation efforts in full. Rayne also established the anti-corruption police that he used to investigate corruption within the old guard.
The ACP found evidence of several sollists collaborating with the Young Sords in order to assassinate communist politician Bernard Circas. The investigation led to the arrest of many sollist politicians, most notably minister of interior Lilias Graff and former members of the supreme court Orso Hawker and Heron Garaci. With the old guard crippled, Rayne took advantage of the situation in order to change the manifesto of the United Sordland Party to move away from sollism and towards socialism.
In order to further consolidate his power, Rayne used his presidential decree powers to purge the general staff and thus remove the military’s power in internal political affairs. In the aftermath of this purge, minister of defence Iosef Lancea was also made commander of the sordish armed forces in place of Valken Kruger. Rayne also established the Sordish Radio and Television Supreme Council that he primarily used to further rein in the propaganda spread by the old guard, liberals and oligarchs. Rayne also started funding the Red Youth, an organisation he had previously been a member of, thus winning him another political ally outside of government.
The rising threat of Rumburg was also handled during Rayne’s first term. Using his diplomatic skill as a former diplomat in the foreign ministry, Rayne de-escalated the conflict and made Rumburg appear as an aggressor on the world stage. Any uncertainty about the threat of invasion was then put to rest when Rayne entered Sordland into a military alliance with Valgsland and later joined the Contanan Security Pact.
But as elections approached instability within the Rayne cabinet appeared. First with a political scandal that led to the arrest of Illana Vance, the Rumburg spy that had posed as President Rayne’s assistant. This scandal also led to Vice President Petr Vectern resigning, retiring from politics, and going to rehab. Lucian Galade was appointed Vice President in his stead. The instability continued however, with the resignation of several ministers including minister of economy Symon Holl due to ideological differences with the President, minister of health Paskal Beniwoll due to concern for the President’s machiavellian tactics, and minister of justice Nia Morgna and minister of education Ciara Walda both due to the President’s constitutional reforms.
This flood of resignations coupled with the arrest of minister of interior Lileas Graf and the retirement of foreign minister Deivid Wisci left a vacuum of power within the administration that Rayne had a clear plan on how to fill after his reelection.
After the election, the results came in with a big change in the political environment of Sordland. The USP came in first with a slight increase in votes since the 1953 election, the NFP came in second, thus becoming the second biggest party in the country, and the PFJP suffered a loss, losing a significant amount of votes to the USP, BFP, WPB, and CPS. The Communist party of Sordland finally made the threshold and due to the popularisation of communism under the Rayne administration they were able to become a legislative power to rival the PFJP. The Workers party of Bludia were unable to make the threshold however, due to the Bludish vote being split between the WPB and the BFP.
As Rayne took to the stage for his victory speech, he reaffirmed his commitment to a turn to the left and to the east and promised further expansion of Sordland’s welfare system and political and social reforms. He declared that this was the start of the Sordish Revolution.
Chapter 1: Inauguration Day
In the aftermath of Rayne’s victory speech and after meeting with the people of Sordland at a USP rally, Anton Rayne entered the black presidential car and was met with a smile through the rear-view mirror and the eternally joyful voice of his driver, Serge, greeting him: “That was a great speech Mr. President, I am glad you got re-elected. Where to now?” Rayne smiled slightly as he always did when hearing the voice of the man who had become one of his closest friends during the last four years. “I am glad to hear that Serge, thank you for all of your support these years, I am really grateful for all your kind words.” Rayne took a slight pause before continuing “We’re off to 137 Wisci Avenue.” “Right away, sir.”
As the two sat in the car in momentary silence, Anton regretted having to leave his wife and daughter at the rally with Lucian. But Monica was strong, he thought to himself. She would be able to handle herself against Lucian if he were to try anything. After another few moments of silence, it was finally broken when Anton realised this wasn’t the same car he had been chauffeured around in earlier in the day. It was similar enough he hadn’t noticed, but it was newer and frankly more comfortable to sit in. “When did you get a new car, Serge?” “Finally noticed it, eh Mr. President?” He continued “But it isn’t my car, it’s yours, you’re the President, I am merely your driver” “The car was a gift. Sent from Chancellor Hegel in Valgsland, as a congratulatory gift for winning the elections. It seems you made quite the impact on him when you visited him in Haelm.” Anton adjusted his posture in his seat and asked Serge what he thought of the Chancellor. “Oh, I don’t follow the politics of other countries that closely sir, but if he made a deal with you he must be a smart man.” Rayne, slightly tired after the rally, simply replied “You’re too kind, Serge” and resorted to staring out the window as the ride continued through the streets of Holsord.
After a while, the two men in the car started to see a gradual decline in the quality of the houses and infrastructure on the streets as they got further from the hill of pride. Once the car rolled onto Wisci Avenue there seemed to be a slight improvement in the quality of the street, however it was still a far cry from the hill of pride. Suddenly the car stopped. “Here we are, sir. 137 Wisci Avenue.” Before Anton could say thank you, Serge was already outside of the car opening the door for his president. Anton stepped out and was then able to thank his driver for the pleasant drive and conversation.
He stepped onto the cracked pavement as Serge got back into the car. Anton instinctively put his hands in his trouser pockets, only to find a packet of cigarettes there. As he took them out of his pocket he was reminded of the time he had caught his son, Franc, smoking, and he further was reminded of the promise he made to Franc to stop smoking. Granted it had become easier to stop after the tobacco tax had been implemented, but it was still a difficult task. Anton promised himself he would call Franc when he got home to see how he was faring in medical school in United Contana. He looked back at Serge and called out his name. “Could you take this and throw it away for me?” Anton threw his last packet of cigarettes to Serge who nodded back at him in acknowledgement. “Thanks, Serge. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Anton said as he walked into the building ahead.
It was a two-story flat-building, more specifically it was the home of Ciara Walda, among other people. As the President walked into the building he was surprised by the interior, which was far more well kept than he expected. As he walked up the stairs however, there was still a quite distinct creak with every step he took. When Anton reached the top he stood directly in front of a door that said “1B Walda Residence”. Rayne knocked on the door and was soon met with a slightly dishevelled former minister of education. Ciara looked her usual self for the most part, aside from looking quite a lot less put together than usual. She was sporting an old bathrobe and slippers, as opposed to her usual political uniform of a pantsuit or dress. “Mr. President?” Ciara blurted out, trying to hide her slight surprise at the situation. “Please Ciara, you don’t work for me anymore, and I know you don’t care for formalities.” Ciara slightly adjusted herself and tried to put on her poker face she had become known for during her time in politics. “Would you care for a drink, Anton?” She didn’t wait for a reply however and simply entered her home, leaving Anton to catch the door and come inside.
“Tea would be nice” Anton replied as he walked into Ciara’s flat. He heard a call from the kitchen “Already started making it.” Anton let out a slight chuckle at Ciara’s unique demeanour as he followed her voice to find his way to the kitchen. The flat was a lot nicer than he expected. Far from luxurious, but it was nicely decorated and brightly lit with large windows, something that was somewhat surprising given that this flat belonged to Ciara Walda of all people.
As Anton found the kitchen, Ciara had already moved into the living room with two cups of tea in her hands. Anton sat down across from her and thanked her for the tea as she sat it down on the coffee table. “I suppose congratulations are in order” she said with a barely detectable sadness in her voice. “I hope congratulations will be in order for you too” Anton said, giving Ciara a slightly puzzled look on her face. Before she could ask what the President meant, he continued “Rejoin my cabinet. I know you miss it.” He paused for a brief moment, “And I need you.” he continued. “You are a talented politician, but you’ve been able to keep your ideals. I need ministers like you. I know you don’t approve of my methods but who will you support if not me? Ricter? Kibener? Leke and Stahler don’t stand much of a chance without my support, so by supporting either of them, you’d be supporting me still. Why not take that opportunity to rejoin the cabinet and make some real change again. Continue the reforms you started with me and Monica.”
Ciara looked down for a few seconds before replying “You know why I left. You know I cannot stand by and support your constitutional reforms, they aren’t democratic and-” Before she could continue, Anton cut her off “What would be democratic then?” He paused before continuing to speak “To give power to an indirectly elected assembly of capitalist leeches and fascists who want to kill half the country and oppress the other? To keep the institutions put in place by a sour old man who wants to stop the world from moving on?” That last comment about Soll made Ciara chuckle slightly. “I’ve never heard you talk about him like that.” Anton replied with a smile “Well, I couldn’t bad-mouth that old fool too much when his lackeys still had such a firm grasp on the country.”
“Listen, I know you might not support my constitutional changes, but-” Before he continued he stopped to rephrase himself “You are familiar with Marcian dialectical materialism I assume?” Ciara looked slightly offended. “Of course I am” “Who do you think you’re talking to?” She said with a slight scoff. “So then you know that class struggle is an antagonistic struggle. You know that capitalists won’t give away the means of production willingly. Oppressors must be taken down by force, not by the systems that gave them power in the first place.” Anton sighed “I know it isn’t ideal, but it isn’t supposed to be. If Karlos Marcias taught us anything, it’s that ideals don’t bring change, material conditions do. Reality does. And reality is messy. Ideals are pure, but as long as they remain that way they are just ideas, they cannot bring real change if they cannot exist within material reality. What does this idealist notion of liberal democracy mean compared to the real material change that comes with socialism?” Ciara sat back on her couch and sighed deeply, looking at Anton the entire time. “I still don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right.” They sat in silence for over a minute before Anton got up and sighed for a final time in defeat. “Thank you for your service to the people of Sordland, we’re going to miss you Ciara. Both me and Monica”. Ciara looked back down at her floor after Anton stopped talking and started walking towards the door.
“Wait” she said as he was on his way out. Anton turned back around. “You stood by me in my educational reforms, you stood by me-” she stopped for a moment “Us, you stood by us as we fought for the rights of our gender.” She looked away out her window for a brief few seconds, “I’m not sure even Leke or Stahler would’ve done that. At least to such an extent. I owe you at least another chance. Both you and Monica” she said with a slight glimmer in her eyes. ”Thank
you Ciara. Really, thank you. Because between Gus, Iosef and Lucian, I could really use an ally in my cabinet” They both smiled at each other as Anton exited the flat. As he started walking down the stairs he heard the door open again. As he looked back Ciara bid him farewell “Good luck, Anton.” “You too, Ciara.”
As Anton walked out of the building he saw Serge leaning on the side of the car. As he noticed Anton he quickly stood upright and opened the backseat door for his President, bowing slightly as he did it. “I got a call while I was waiting for you sir. Your wife and daughter have left the rally along with your cabinet and are on their way to the maroon palace for the celebration dinner.”
While Anton’s first term had been ceremonially opened with a grand ball at the maroon palace, the event had ended catastrophically with the assassination of Bernard Circas, which drew a lot of bad press to the tradition. It had already been criticised before for its over-the-top extravagance, a criticism Anton agreed with. However, the event still occurred during Rayne’s first inauguration as it was still a quite popular affair, particularly with sollists who wanted to honour the traditions of the nation, and with oligarchs who wanted to take the opportunity to cosy up to politicians. But with the assassination, and the loss of power suffered by sollists and oligarchs during the first Rayne administration, it became easier, and frankly more popular, to replace the event with a more modest one. Namely a televised dinner with the President and his cabinet, along with their families.
Due to the wave of resignations at the end of Anton’s first term however, the dinner might come across as a little too modest though. Especially with Lucian who was married to his work, and Iosef who was married to his own idealised version of Sordland. It was unclear if Ciara would attend. She definitely knew about the event, as she was one of the people campaigning for an end to the inaugural ball. She was welcome to attend as she was to rejoin the cabinet, but Anton hadn’t thought to ask her. Especially as she wasn’t fond of any sort of ‘style over substance’ meeting.
Anton was brought out of his deep thoughts as Serge cleared his throat, and he realised he’d stood there for a solid half a minute. He shook his head for a moment and saw a bin in the corner of his eye that he hadn’t noticed stood next to the building he’d walked into. Anton noticed his packet of cigarettes laying there along with another pack that looked just as newly thrown away. He smiled to himself and walked into the car, letting Serge close the door behind him and get back into his own seat in the front.
“You trying to quit as well Serge?” The president’s driver looked shocked for a moment, as Anton realised what that might’ve sounded like. “Cigarettes.” he assured Serge. “Oh! I got a tad confused there for a second Mr. President.” he nervously tapped the steering wheel as he started the car's engine. “Yes! I’ve decided to quit Mr. President. I couldn’t have done it without you though! I saw the press conference you and Mr. Beniwoll did on television before he resigned, warning of the dangers of tobacco.” Anton grinned slightly as he heard Paskal’s name, before Serge continued. “And as I noticed you were throwing away your last pack, I thought I’d do the same. Follow the example of a great leader.”

It's such a common thing among mostly white Americans that they bring up that they are 1/8 or 1/16 insert Indigenous American tribe to sound more interesting or claim to be mixed race as well. It's so well know that it turned out to be common trope in media. Even people here on the sub bring it up, but we are mostly quick to tell that it doesn't work like this.
Okay well here are my points of view, I grew up half Dutch and half Surinamese Creole. I have on my Surinamese side some indigenous admixture I have always been aware of, but I never bring it up to claim stuff like this. Instead of claiming that I'm an original person of the land to feel superior over others I will defend the right of our indigenous people to death and support them to preserve their culture and traditional way of living. But I will never put my face on their covers, I grew up only with Dutch and Creole culture and know nothing about how it is to grow up in an indigenous environment. So why do so many people feel entitled to appropriate Indigenous culture or spaces because of an ancestor they never knew?

I (23M) have been single for close to two years now -- I've had various situationships and short-lived relationships since, and gone on lots of dates. For various reasons, I'm really picky with who I decide to pursue a relationship with, and it's very rare for me to actually develop a crush on someone. (The last time I was interested in dating someone was close to a year ago, and I've probably been on dates with over half a dozen other people since then).
Some time close to a month and a half ago, I started messaging with someone (24M) fairly casually, and we finally made plans to meet up about a month ago. A fairly standard first date (drinks), but we had lots in common, and there was definitely chemistry and physical attraction. After the date, we both expressed that we'd like to see each other again, but I'd be gone for the next week (roughly) and then he'd be out of the country for the 2 weeks after that. Typical case of poor timing I guess.During that time we texted pretty much every day, usually multiple times a day, which is pretty much unheard of for me as I'm not a big texter. I was still keeping him somewhat at arm's length because although I did like him, I still didn't know him well enough yet.
After I got back from my trip, he let me know that he took a year-long temp position ~5 hours away, starting not long after he would get back from his trip. I was a bit shook, because why put in all the effort flirting with me over text if you were just going to be moving away? (Especially since we both said we were more interested in something serious). I just told him that I did like him, but it wouldn't make sense to date given the situation (I would normally be open to LDR, but we hadn't been dating long enough to have that baseline relationship). He agreed but said that he'd still like to keep getting to know me, so we kept texting every day.
When he got back from his trip abroad, we finally hung out again. The date was great, probably because it already been close to a month since our first date, and since we were talking so much our connection had grown a lot. We didn't end up having sex, but he ended up sleeping over and things got very physical. Before leaving, he said he wanted to see me again before moving next week (which I agreed to). We're planning to hang out tomorrow and watch Chungking Express.
Not exactly sure what the future of our relationship will be, but I'm not really interested in a LDR. No advice needed just feeling a bit annoyed with the universe that the first person I can actually imagine myself in a relationship with for quite a while happens to be leaving! But also feeling somewhat hopeful that this is evidence that maybe there are people out there that I'm interested in dating :-)

My anxiety is on the fritz today. I took my meds last night so idk what’s wrong. But I can’t focus and I can’t think. I’ve been trying to get myself and the kids dressed for the last hour and a half. I don’t know if I should take my ADHD meds with my anxiety being as high as it is. And I’m pretty sure I only have 2 pills left. My insurance isn’t covering it anymore and getting around to scheduling an appointment is difficult. So much going on in my brain and I can’t calm down. I have very few coping skills and therapists in my area are not taking on new patients. Online isn’t an option either unless it’s completely free. I need to untangle this knot that is my thoughts.

Long story short: in 2022 my partner took in a feral stray cat - a black shorthair (f 4yrs approx).
We've since moved into an apartment and 4yr old kitty is still slowly getting used to her surroundings, the move, us etc. It's been about 3-4 months since the move but just over a month and a half ago, we found a stray black kitten dumped on the side of the road.
We took it home and then checked for a microchip the next day at the vets, no chip so we adopted him. The kitten is about 5 months old now and is the cheekiest, most vocal and food motivated cat I've ever seen.
Overall he's really friendly and loves to play, so naturally he's tried to play with our older cat but she's very cantankerous and only likes affection and attention in small doses. She swats him several times and hisses, sometimes making a yowling noise. They've never actually fought and hurt each other but we're worried they'll never get along. (Fyi: we seperate them if it seems like the older cat would like her space)
Recently the kitten got desexed and we're hoping this will help in the coming months before we travel.
Any advice on how to get cats to tolerate each other without our supervision or if you've had similar experiences and just had to keep cats seperated?

I love that people are passionate and have several theories and have deep insights into what/why people act the way they do or just general knowledge about the show and characters.
I’m new to Steven universe I get it, I don’t know every detail the creators said was canon/debunked or anything. But when I have a theory or if I’m “wrong” or just against the grain there are people that just make me feel bad about thinking what I do or not knowing what the creators said.
Or people have very very strong opinions and are aggressive with them. Like I came here to share my thoughts and feelings over a show I love because no one else in my life watches the show and half the time I get kinda.. beat down on for my opinion or theory. Or just generally told I’m a horrible person because I had a funny fleeting thought that not everyone found funny.
Idk. Just a rant I guess

There was easily 80k there yesterday. Couldn’t get anywhere near the stages, even earlier in the day. I’m hoping the crowd is half the side today since Zach Byran already played, but who knows? Holy f**k the sea of people was insane.

Redoing a bathroom floor (100 sqft) and shower. Subfloor is 19/32" osb. Joists are 2"x10" on 16" center. Previously tiled with half inch cbu. Pulled everything and replaced a sheet of osb that was rotted due to a shower leak. It's 90s osb so I actually found that a new piece of 22/32" matched the thickness of the old floor better than new 19/32". Existing non rotten osb is decent but surface is roughed up a bit with mastic here and there or where a couple strands that pulled up with the cbu.
Ditra install manual says 19/32 osb is the min for a subfloor. Putting in porcelain 6"x24" tile (5/16" thick) perpendicular to the joists so I don't have a long grout line parallel over a joist.
Technically the schluter manual says I'm good to go but my gut is telling me to throw down 3/8" or half inch ply down. Same direction as osb but offset joints and not screw to joists.
Wondering if it's overkill to slap the ply down or if it's cheap insurance. What would you do?

Armor details: Front: 105mm Sides: 84mm Rear: 84mm
Weight: 69.49 tons HP: 1750
Turn rate: 25.13 degrees/second
View range: 248.9 meters
Gurn turn limit: Up: 15 degrees Down: 7 degrees
View Poll

Major Duels/Fights That Could Happen

Background
I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of some of the major duels/fights that have a good chance of happening (or at least some potential foreshadowing). Obviously not all of these will end up taking place, but I've posted about most of these individually at some point, so I thought it would be fun to group them together.
If interested: Named Characters Killed by Individuals in Combat
Ser Gregor Clegane & Ser Loras Tyrell
Gregor Clegane and Loras Tyrell have already:

• Jousted in the Tourney of the Hand
• Almost fought after the joust
• Loras volunteered to go fight Gregor in the Riverlands and Ned said no

If interested: Gregor Clegane v. Loras Tyrell
Ser Rolly Duckfield & Lord Lorent Caswell
Rolly Duckfield (who we meet as one of Tyrion's companions aboard the Shy Maid) grew up in service to Lorent's father and was forced to flee and join the Golden Company.
If interested: Rolly Duckfield/Lorent Caswell
Swannbowl
House Swann's sigil is two swans combantant and while Ser Balon is a member of Tommen's kingsguard, his brother Ser Donnel has changed allegiances a few times. And while they aren't twins, we could see them battle to the death.
If interested: Swann vs. Swann: Ser Donnel the Constant
unAlliser Thorne vs. unJon
Before the mutiny at Castle Black, Jon had sent Ser Alliser beyond the Wall, and Ser Alliser legit responds with this:

Then you could hack off my head, same as you did for Slynt. I'll not give you that pleasure, bastard. You'd best pray that it's a wildling blade that kills me, though. The ones the Others kill don't stay dead … and they remember. I'm coming back, Lord Snow."
"I pray you do." Jon would never count Ser Alliser Thorne amongst his friends, but he was still a brother. No one ever said you had to like your brothers. -ADWD, Jon VI

If interested: Alliser Thorne's Destiny: Become a Wight/Try to Kill Jon Snow
Ramsay's Hounds vs. the Stark Direwolves
Not a duel/fight per se, but according to GRRM's thoughts on the show, we could potentially see a showdown between them in the books:

Speaking of which: Martin leaves a little note for the producers when writing about Ramsay’s flesh-eating hounds, whom we see hunting down a girl for sport.
[N.B. A note for future reference. A season or two down the line Ramsay’s pack of wolfhounds are going to be sent against the Stark direwolves, so we should build up the dogs as much as possible in this and subsequent episodes. SSM, Vanity Fair Article: 7 December 2018

If interested: The Stark Direwolves vs. Ramsay's Hounds
Ramsay Bolton vs. Jon Snow
We have the show to thank for this one as well (Battle of the Bastards), but it is worth noting that book Jon is a much better fighter than Ramsay:

"He fights for you," Reek blurted out. "He's strong." "Bulls are strong. Bears. I have seen my bastard fight. He is not entirely to blame. Reek was his tutor, the first Reek, and Reek was never trained at arms. Ramsay is ferocious, I will grant you, but he swings that sword like a butcher hacking meat." -ADWD, Reek III

If interested: Fighting Skill: Jon Snow vs. Ramsay Bolton & Other Perspectives of Ramsay Bolton
Ser Jaime Lannister (in general)
With the abandonment of the 5 year gap and the progression Jaime shows in the post I linked below, I think its quite feasible that Jaime has to use his left hand at some point (duel with Brienne, Lancel, Boros, etc.), my favorite potential foreshadowing of this, is this little throwaway line about his squire:

That night he and Ser Ilyn fought for three hours. It was one of his better nights. If they had been in earnest, Payne only would have killed him twice. Half a dozen deaths were more the rule, and some nights were worse than that. "If I keep at this for another year, I may be as good as Peck," Jaime declared -AFFC, Jaime VII

but if we remember Peck:

Next came four of lesser birth who had distinguished themselves in the fighting: the one-eyed knight Ser Philip Foote, who had slain Lord Bryce Caron in single combat; the freerider Lothor Brune, who'd cut his way through half a hundred Fossoway men-at-arms to capture Ser Jon of the green apple and kill Ser Bryan and Ser Edwyd of the red, thereby winning himself the name Lothor Apple-Eater; Willit, a grizzled man-at-arms in the service of Ser Harys Swyft, who'd pulled his master from beneath his dying horse and defended him against a dozen attackers; and a downy-cheeked squire named Josmyn Peckledon, who had killed two knights, wounded a third, and captured two more, though he could not have been more than fourteen. Willit was borne in on a litter, so grievous were his wounds. -ACOK, Sansa VIII

If interested: Hear Me Roar: Jaime Lannister's Left Hand
Areo Hotah v. Darkstar
Areo Hotah has already dispatched a POV character (Arys Oakheart) and the Camera that Rides is now headed to track down Dark Star with Obara Sand.

Only Ser Gerold Dayne had escaped unscathed. Darkstar. If Myrcella's horse had not shied at the last instant, his longsword would have opened her from chest to waist instead just taking off her ear. Dayne was her most grievous sin, the one that Arianne most regretted. With one stroke of his sword, he had changed her botched plot into something foul and bloody. If the gods were good, by now Obara Sand had treed him in his mountain fastness and put an end to him.
She said as much to Daemon Sand that first night, as they made camp. "Be careful what you pray for, princess," he replied."Darkstar could put an end to Lady Obara just as easily."
"She has Areo Hotah with her." Prince Doran's captain of guards had dispatched Ser Arys Oakheart with a single blow, though the Kingsguard were supposed to be the finest knights in all the realm. "No man can stand against Hotah."
"Is that what Darkstar is? A man?" Ser Daemon grimaced. "A man would not have done what he did to Princess Myrcella. Ser Gerold is more a viper than your uncle ever was. Prince Oberyn could see that he was poison, he said so more than once. It's just a pity that he never got around to killing him." -TWOW, Arianne I

If interested: The Showdown at High Hermitage
CleganeBowl
One of the more divisive theories in the fanbase is that of Sandor Clegane fighting his brother Gregor. While E+L have stated that they don't believe Cleganebowl will happen (although they have also said they won't change their stance on stuff publicly if they get new information):

No, the Cleganebowl theory -- specifically, the version that has the gravedigger formerly known as the Hound fighting a trial by combat against the necromantic experiment formerly known as Ser Gregor Clegane -- is not really going anywhere (though the two may well meet under other circumstances).

I tend to agree as I think that Sandor Clegane's plotline stays in the Riverlands (LSH and the BwB are hot on his trail and know he was the last one to see Arya alive).
That said we get it on the show (take that fwiw, as they were in deep with the fan service at that point) as well as get several quotes that could seemingly foreshadow a fight between them.
If interested: Trial by Combat: The Faith's Champion & Trials/Fights in King's Landing
Bloodraven & Bittersteel
Bloodraven and Bittersteel are known to have fought two duels::

• The First Blackfyre Rebellion (196AC)
• The Third Blackfyre Rebellion (219AC)

While the details of their first duel are pretty well known, the information about their second duel is very scarce (we will likely get more info in a future D&E or Fire & Blood II). It can also be argued that we could end up with a third "duel" (war by proxy) between the two.
If interested: The Duels Between Bittersteel & Bloodraven
Dark Sister & Blackfyre
While neither Blackfyre/Dark Sister have been mentioned in the main series, they have met in duels on a couple occasions. While it is confirmed that Bloodraven took Dark Sister to the Wall with him, we haven't seen it since. Blackfyre was last seen with Bittersteel.
I think its quite likely that Illyrio acquired Blackfyre at some point and that it was a treasure that House Blackfyre maintained as some semblance of legitimacy.
If interested: Dark Sister & Blackfyre: Could They Meet Again?
Dany/Balerion & ???
Not really sure who (it could be anyone from Euron and whatever he is summoning/dragon to another character on dragonback.
That said we are to expect a Dance of the Dragons II in the series, and imo its not a real "dance" unless both sides have dragons.
If interested: Thoughts, Theories, Parallels on the Dance of the Dragons II
TLDR: Just like the title says, a list of duels/combat that I could happen (and that have some potential foreshadowing, etc. as well.

My industrial area has not had any changes in size since 5k population. It was full with buildings too. I am now at 9.5k population, half of the industrial zoning is empty and every building that pops up has not enough workers and gets abandoned in great numbers.
What is the game mechanic behind it? What am I missing?
Did I build too many offices?

Ok to start off this is going to be a long one so congrats if you can get through it…
So last year I met this guy on bumble and we started chatting and right when we were gonna go out on a date we both got Covid and had to postpone. We would chat for hours though during that time. I was looking forward to meeting him when we finally got out of quarantine.
The night of the date came and we finally met and it was like instant attraction. The conversation flowed and we had instant chemistry. I was nervous at the start of the date but by the end we were holding hands like this had been our second date. It was so natural.
When it came to our actual second date I asked him to come to my house and well one thing led to another…. We ended up sleeping together and he was actually pretty critical of me even though I didn’t have much experience. The sex was awkward but the date was great.
We get to the 3rd date and we were going to go out again and he ended up cancelling on me. I really thought “This is ok maybe he doesn’t like me.” But then he got upset and told me he didn’t like me. I texted “ok this was fun and good luck in the future” I then took myself to the movies. I was ready to move on especially if someone didn’t like me.
The next morning however i received a phone call from him apologizing for saying he didn’t like me. He didn’t mean it and he was just overly frustrated with work and life. In hindsight and as I’m writing this I should have just said thanks but no thanks and really truly walk away. But one of my faults is giving too many chances.
But then we went on and off for the next couple of months and then One day he abruptly announced that we should just be friends. He didn’t want to continue with a relationship but really didn’t want to lose our friendship either because our friendship was actually fantastic. I agreed to remain friends even though I was kind of confused and heartbroken.
But I held on as a friend inviting him to things and doing friend things together. He even made me his emergency contact. He told me I was his best friend and he adored our friendship. And then every time we would hangout he felt like he had to remind me that we are just friends. I know you have only my side of things but swear I didn’t mean to flirt like more than a friend at all. I did not want to communicate that at all.
Ok so a couple of months ago he invited me to hangout with friends at this music festival in town. During the last act of the day a different man came up to me and said that I was incredibly beautiful and asked if he could kiss me. I politely declined and turned back to my friend (the dude this whole story is about) I was exacerbated and said “what the hell was that about?” And my friend said “that’s what I have been trying to tell you, your are very sexy” then he turned away from me and started just singing with the music.
I was confused even more but decided to not say anything because we were just friends.
The next day he was flying out of the country for his job and he was going to be gone for a month. On the way to the airport he texted me again and said, “you know we will never be more than friends and I don’t want you to wait around in this friendship thinking it’s going to happen” I finally flipped and said “no I want to remain friends because our friendship is great and I will always only think of you as a friend” He said sorry about the confusion and I said “don’t get mugged while you are in that country”
He completely ghosted me all of the month while he was gone. Answering in our group chats but completely ignoring me in our personal texts. I finally called him out towards the end of his stay in that other country and he said he never wanted to talk to me and that’s how he thought I wanted it. Just friends. I said “I don’t know how we went from an adoring friendship to acquaintances but ok”
He came back and about a week later he apologized again and he felt karma was getting him for treating me so poorly because he had a kidney infection while flying and thought he was going to die. I again forgave him and starting hanging out in groups but it’s painfully awkward. I catch him staring but he intensionally puts space between us. I’m trying to just ignore the awkwardness but it’s really frustrating.
Anyone have advice that’s made it all the way down here to the end? You deserve a cookie for reading so much😳

(Extensive rework of a very old post here. Do not ask about the post title)
Summary: Absolute little gremlins that steal children and occasionally you. At least they give feathers and can be recruited like mercs
Reavers
Reavers are neutral flying mobs that spawn in the Crimson Forest primarily, with 3 spawning per Nethergaol. They have long, slender bodies with a vaguely striped main body and a three-segmented tail ending in a stinger. They have 4 limbs and a large pair of jaws.
Reavers will usually fly around Crimson Forests, sometimes attaching to the side of Log blocks and chewing on them. After about 10 seconds, a ball of paste will form in their jaws and they will fly into their home Nethergaol to deposit it. Successfully depositing a ball of paste causes their tails to grow one stage, providing 1 more feather when sheared.
Reavers can grow feathers on their tails which can be sheared to produce 1-3 feathers depending on the stage of growth, which can be inferred from how many segments of their tail are feathered.
However, these creatures are far from benign; if a Reaver is within a 16 block radius from a baby mob, it may fly towards that mob and grab onto it with their limbs, flying up into the air with it and attempting to bring it back to their Nethergaol, which despawns it instantly. It may also more occasionally do this for grown mobs(but biting to death instead of carrying to a Nethergaol), including the player; if captured, the player can look up and attack the Reaver, causing it to let go of the player.
If aggravated, Reavers can sting with their stinger; unlike Bees, their stingers can be used multiple times without falling off, and inflict fire damage for 5 seconds instead of poison. They can also bite their enemies for 4 damage(2 hearts). Like Bees, Reavers will pursue their targets for 25 seconds before becoming neutral again.
Reavers fear Warped Fungi and anything related to them, and actively avoid these in a radius of 3 blocks. If a Reaver finds itself in a Warped Forest, it will frantically attempt to navigate to the nearest non-Warped Forest biome. If a Reaver is in a Warped Forest for 15 seconds, it turns into a Corrupted Reaver.
Reavers are fire, magma and lava resistant. They drop 1-3 orbs of Experience when killed. They can be bred with any kind of meat item(including rotten flesh), causing them to enter love mode and produce a baby Reaver; these items can also be used to speed up the growth of baby Reavers. Reavers produce 1-7 orbs of Experience when breeding.
Nethergaols
Summary: The living hives of the Reavers, they can be fed to recruit their Reavers for your own use
Nethergaols are four-legged cuboid mobs that have formed a symbiotic relationship with Reavers; the Reavers use its body as habitation, and in return attack anything that threatens their host. Nethergaols can spawn rarely in Crimson forests and never despawn; they spawn with a maximum capacity of 3 Reavers, although if enough meat is brought back by their Reavers, they can grow additional segments of their bodies upwards for a maximum of 10 housed Reavers. Nethergaols are passive and will run away if attacked, letting their Reavers handle the enemy instead.
Once fully grown, Nethergaols will spawn a small pod on their heads which can be removed by right-clicking and placed down. This pod will grow into another Nethergaol in 10 minutes. The pod respawns for every 32 food items/mobs the Nethergaol’s Reavers bring back.
Nethergaols, like Reavers, fear Warped fungi/related blocks, but will not transform. Feeding Nethergaols steak(and only steak) will allow you to recruit its Reavers for around 5 minutes, causing them to follow you and attack anything that attacks you/you attack. However, only 2 Nethergaols worth of Reavers will willingly join; any more and the Reavers will begin infighting.
Corrupted Reavers
Summary: Boo
Corrupted Reavers are hostile flying mobs that spawn in groups of 1 in the Warped Forest, or when a Reaver stays in a Warped Forest for 15 seconds. Corrupted Reavers look similar to Reavers, but have patches of black covering their body intermittently; one of their eyes has been consumed by the black and turned into an enderman-like purple eye, while their wings have been removed in favour of large protrusions of pale white crystals similar to Shulker projectiles; seemingly their main mode of flight.
Corrupted Reavers do not inhabit Gaols or chew on trees; they instead just attack the player by swooping down at them and biting. A Corrupted Reaver's bite can occasionally grant 5 seconds of Levitation, while its sting grants 10 seconds of Levitation.
Reavers fear Corrupted Reavers and attempt to fly away from them; Corrupted Reavers do not attack Reavers. Unlike Reavers, Corrupted Reavers are not fire, magma or lava resistant; they drop 1-3 orbs of Experience when killed, as well as have a 1/5 chance of dropping 1 phantom membrane(affected by Looting).

So basically got invited for a great job and a drug test which is coming up tomorrow is one of the requirements for getting the job.
I'm 6'1 75kg and under 10% bodyfat and I've been clean for a month and 14days, please what are my chances of passing this test?
I should also add that I'm a light weight cannabis smoker, before my break I smoked daily at night but only half a joint, I have a very active lifestyle and can't feel the slightest effect of THC in my system. I feel clean but still nervous for the test, need your advice pls. Thanks

So I (M38) have been seeing a FWB (F33) for the past 3 months, we hit it off really good (she wanted to try a different "breed" of men for once as she realized she's been with the wrong ones before) and agreed on an exclusive FWB relationship because it's been a couple of years since we both had a relationship or a fling. Also opened up a lot about everything and could talk about literally everything. She actually only got her BPD diagnosis a couple of weeks into it (and was put on AD and anti psychotics, but was optimistic and looked forward to being better to everyone around her) and also won custody of her son shortly after, so we couldn't maybe spend as much time together as we hoped, but was still maybe once a week, even though we live a little under a mile apart. Basically it was the best i've ever been treated by a girlfriend so far and not sure if i was her FP or if she was obsessed or really that into me, but after around 3 months it all suddenly started to fade away over night. We went from 50+ texts per day, good morning and good night and texting about everything we were doing, to maybe 10 texts per day (did notice her being increasingly displeased with herself, feeling fat and useless and empty) and now basically 0 unless i push it which i really hate doing (texting something unrelated to the previous text that i didn't get a reply to anymore, to start a new topic).
Can't really pinpoint any of the general phases that BPD relationships are supposed to go through, i've been trying to understand if i did anything wrong, or maybe if i could've done anything better or more. She did want me to meet her son and parents relatively quickly and have me sleep over to be able to spend time more often, but it felt a bit too soon for me (as all this is quite new to me so wasn't sure how it would look like) which i now regret although not sure if it would've made any difference... also at one point wanted me to give her some clothing with my scent and we started having sex from date 2 on wards, so hmm. I'm currently unsure what i want or am capable of doing. I've read i should give her space and just text her from time to time showing i'm still here but not confronting or pushing her to talk about anything from the good times or us in general. But i also have a feeling she didn't get that attached to me that "fighting" for her would warrant another go somewhere along the line and she'll most likely find someone else or already did. I could also see that even though she has less free time every month, she's not willing to spend it with me. A couple of months she'd always be on the lookout for opportunities to meet up and hang out.
It sucks as i remember all the sweet things like they happened yesterday (trying not to doubt them being true, all felt genuine, but you never know) and she probably doesn't and won't if i'm just another guy that spiced up her life and it's the same as a ONS to her, only a bit longer. I kinda hoped being her first one after being diagnosed, it wouldn't go down the same pattern as she's used i guess, seeing she also managed some multi year relationships in the past that seemed to work well. We promised each other we wouldn't ghost each other, but i know if i don't text her and push her in a way, she most likely won't ever text me on her own anymore and i'm not sure which hurts more, just losing her like that or spending energy on something that is almost certainly lost and getting a reply just for the sake of it. One thing that's interesting is that she never lashed out on me, was never mean, doesn't look like she split me and it all looked too good to be true i guess and i totally forgot that this was coming eventually, although i've read up on BPD stuff a lot since day 1 as i was the first one she told when she got diagnosed.
Not the summer i wanted after a great looking spring. To be honest, it feels just like any other breakup i had so far, just that there's no closure, not sure if i was replaced with someone else / served my purpose and not really sure if it ended because of BPD or just me not being good enough. Very confusing stuff, i feel bad but still grateful for the good times i guess as the start has been the best, all i ever wanted. I'm trying very hard not to resent her or even hate her as she's never been mean to me or anything, if that's what her brain wanted to be done and it's nothing personal and would happend to anyone. Living so close by doesn't make it easy though. If there was some way to keep her in my life somehow as i'd like to see her get better as she's just starting the journey (probably actual therapy would be a good next step, not just pills), make progress and get to a happy place or as happy as possible considering everything, although it would hurt for a while.
Anyone in a similar situation (the BPD or non BPD side) have any tips and support how to handle this the best way?

Doing this again on a real Sunday.
Back in the day some guys were talking about MMY getting an ability called Wave Spread. What it does is that, if a special attack it uses connects, then other mons of the foe's team including those on the bench get hit by a move that is of the same type that it uses, but with (say) half the power.
The consensus was that it would be a wreck. But, if we allow a humbler mon (Porygon-Z for a quick example) to pick this ability up (or a physical equivalent), it'll be respectable OU alongside other power creeps these days. How do you think it'll shape the meta? If you think it's still bad, would reducing the shockwave damage (to what fraction?) make it more tolerable?
Edit: to make this possibly more interesting, abilities like Lightning Rod now also works from the bench, and gets any bonus the first time it enters the field after the relevant hit. They trigger once, because the hit technically doesn't connect ie the LRer attracts the electricity whole.

So I (M38) have been seeing a FWB (F33) for the past 3 months, we hit it off really good (she wanted to try a different "breed" of men for once as she realized she's been with the wrong ones before) and agreed on an exclusive FWB relationship because it's been a couple of years since we both had a relationship or a fling. Also opened up a lot about everything and could talk about literally everything. She actually only got her BPD diagnosis a couple of weeks into it (and was put on AD and anti psychotics, but was optimistic and looked forward to being better to everyone around her) and also won custody of her son shortly after, so we couldn't maybe spend as much time together as we hoped, but was still maybe once a week, even though we live a little under a mile apart. Basically it was the best i've ever been treated by a girlfriend so far and not sure if i was her FP or if she was obsessed or really that into me, but after around 3 months it all suddenly started to fade away over night. We went from 50+ texts per day, good morning and good night and texting about everything we were doing, to maybe 10 texts per day (did notice her being increasingly displeased with herself, feeling fat and useless and empty) and now basically 0 unless i push it which i really hate doing (texting something unrelated to the previous text that i didn't get a reply to anymore, to start a new topic).
Can't really pinpoint any of the general phases that BPD relationships are supposed to go through, i've been trying to understand if i did anything wrong, or maybe if i could've done anything better. She did want me to meet her son and parents relatively quickly and have me sleep over to be able to spend time more often, but it felt a bit too soon for me (as all this is quite new to me so wasn't sure how it would look like) which i now regret although not sure if it would've made any difference... also to give her some clothing with my scent and we started having sex from date 2 on wards, so hmm. I'm currently unsure what i want or am capable of doing. I've read i should give her space and just text her from time to time showing i'm still here but not confronting or pushing her to talk about anything from the good times or us in general. But i also have a feeling she didn't get that attached to me that "fighting" for her would warrant another go somewhere along the line and she'll most likely find someone else or already did. I could also see that even though she has less free time every month, she's not willing to spend it with me. A couple of months she'd always be on the lookout for opportunities to meet up and hang out.
It sucks as i remember all the sweet things like they happened yesterday (trying not to doubt them being true, all felt genuine, but you never know) and she probably doesn't and won't if i'm just another guy that spiced up her life and it's the same as a ONS to her. I kinda hoped being her first one after being diagnosed, it wouldn't go down the same pattern as she's used i guess, seeing she also managed some multi year relationships in the past that seemed to work well. We promised each other we wouldn't ghost each other, but i know if i don't text her and push her, she won't ever text me on her own and i'm not sure which hurts more, just losing her like that or spending energy on something that is almost certainly lost and getting a reply just for the sake of it. One thing that's interesting is that she never lashed out on me, was never mean, doesn't look like she split me and it all looked too good to be true i guess and i totally forgot that this was coming eventually, although i've read up on BPD stuff a lot since day 1 as i was the first one she told when she got diagnosed.
Not the summer i wanted after a great looking spring. To be honest, it feels just like any other breakup i had so far, just that there's no closure, not sure if i was replaced with someone else / served my purpose and not really sure if it ended because of BPD or just me not being good enough. Very confusing stuff, i feel bad but still grateful for the good times i guess as the start has been the best, all i ever wanted. I'm trying very hard not to resent her or even hate her as she's never been mean to me or anything, if that's what her brain wanted to be done and it's nothing personal and would happend to anyone. Living so close by doesn't make it easy though. If there was some way to keep her in my life somehow as i'd like to see her get better as she's just starting the journey (probably actual therapy would be a good next step, not just pills), make progress and get to a happy place or as happy as possible considering everything, although it would hurt for a while.
Anyone in a similar situation (the BPD or non BPD side) have any tips and support how to handle this the best way?

Oh boy here we go

• Petra gets put in the Schwartzette, piloted by Lauda after Eri = Aerial gets leaked to Jeturk
  
• Suletta temporarily sorties in the Pharact, which has El4n's biometric data imprinted on it, and uses it to try to confront her mother
  
• El0n and the four creepy ladies are killed by El5n who has more or less snapped at this point
  
• Bel tries to shut down Quiet Zero, only to be stopped by Delling, awoken from his coma.
  
• Alternatively, Delling gets Aeolia'd by Bel, triggering some sort of failsafe which activates something in GUND Suits.
  
• Nika is the key witness in prosecuting Shaddiq but ends up killed off
  
• Zarius lets Shaddiq off relatively easily - this gets him killed
  
• The Benerit group collapses despite electing a new president
  
• The Space Assembly League are revealed to have some shady people lobbying for constant warfare...
  
• Instead of 25 more episodes we get a movie a la End of Evangelion
  

I'm going to be completely honest I don't want to root for either the Benerit Group (epitome of late-stage capitalism) or the Space Assembly League (willing to fund terrorists to "keep the group in check") and Prospera seems like she's out to throw hands with everyone. Perhaps this is the point; the adults on every side have fucked things up, and it's up to their kids to try to pick up the pieces.